Thursday, April 27, 2017

Separation Anxiety

When La Petite Belle was a baby, she suffered severely from separation anxiety.

Y'all ... it was bad.

Once she hit five months old, she was only happy with me. She didn't want anyone else. Moms who've gone through this stage can relate to how exhausting this can be. A Target run was like a vacation. Meanwhile, at home, Beau would be holding and bouncing a crying baby for three hours. (Yes, Target runs can take three hours.)

Every picture taken of La Petite Belle, from five months to over a year, were snapped just at the moment she had stopped crying. In some pictures, her eyes are watery and red. This was because she was not actually touching me, and I was only a few feet away. It was quite insane.

Leaving her in the nursery at church was a task. I just did it, hysterically crying and all. At some point, she developed a connection with the nursery director, and, although she would still cry, it became less. But, only when the nursery director was there. Church became another mini-vacation for me. I really didn't feel that bad about it. I probably should have. But, I didn't. I knew she would survive. Even if she cried the entire time I was gone, she would stop once I'd return.

The common "crying it out" plan for night-time sleeping for La Petite Belle was torture. I thought she might choke on her own tears. But, in the end, even after hours and hours of this, eventually she did stop.

And, months later, at some point ... some time after she was a year old ... something snapped and she became super independent.

Really independent.

She also began to voice her opinion and speak her mind more than most people, even her parents, may have liked. But, it was also what we loved about her. She was fearless. She was and remains the most bold person I know. Even now, when she speaks to the doctors, she's not shy about expressing her thoughts on matters.

However, during the last two years, La Petite Belle and I have been together pretty much 24/7.  She said today ... "I miss you even when I'm sleeping." This kid!! She melts my heart and I turn to rubble. Not only is she the most bold person I know, but also the sweetest person I know.

I mean ... seriously ... all she wants to do is cuddle ...

the dog ...

the daddy ...

She asks me every day for more cuddles. With La Petite Belle, the "I love you"s are not in short supply. You always know where you stand with her.

I'm sad to say I won't be able to cuddle with her as much as I have been throughout the last two years. But, happy to say that God has provided a job for me. This means Beau will be La Petite Belle's main caregiver. He'll be the one with her every day, taking her to and from appointments, making sure her meds are taken, doing school with her, and helping her in any way she needs.

This will be quite an adjustment for all of us.
I think La Petite Belle and I will have a huge case of separation anxiety for a while. It'll definitely be difficult for me being away from her during the day. It'll be difficult for Beau as he will be taking on most of the day-to-day care-giver duties.

He will continue to do freelance work and play with bands around town. While my job will provide a consistent income, my salary won't cover our living expenses. But, we will FINALLY have insurance once again, which we desperately need.

As you remember us in prayer this week, please pray for us to adjust to this new life change easily. Continue to keep La Petite Belle in your prayers ... healing in her kidneys and for her body to stop this breakdown of red blood cells (hemolysis). She needed a blood transfusion earlier this week and they have already ordered more blood for Friday because her hemoglobin wasn't as high as it should have been. It had been close to a month since she'd needed a transfusion. La Petite Belle continues to receive an infusion of Rituxin every week to try and stop this hemolysis from happening. Please pray that her body will respond to this medicine completely.

Good news is that she continues to get stronger and stronger each day. While she hasn't even started her physical therapy yet, we can see such progress in her strength. We are hoping to finally have the therapy set up by next week. She does get tired pretty easily after outings or long hospital visits. Her endurance needs to be built up and should improve over time with therapy.

Thank you for continuing to pray and stand with us as we travel this road. The road has been long and  we don't know which way it winds and turns, nor which direction it will take us. But, we will keep trusting our faithful God, knowing He is in control and always has our best in mind. No matter how hard this journey gets, He is with us and holds us steady.

If you would like to financially support Katie's (aka La Petite Belle) journey to healing, 
All gifts are tax deductible. All funds go to cover medical bills and expenses.
We are extremely grateful for your help, support, and prayers!

1 Comment:

Mama Rose said...

I continue to pray for Katie and your family. As I follow your blogs, I am humbled and reminded of what I have to be thankful for.