I really don't want this post to come off as insensitive. I know it probably will anyway, but it must be said.
I know that people have problems.
Some have big problems. Some have small problems.
So, don't think I think we are the ONLY ones in the world going through hard stuff.
I don't think that AT ALL.
But, over the past year, I've become more sensitive to people complaining about things in their lives that I only wish I could complain about.
Heck ... we've had people even reach out to us saying stuff like this ... allow me to paraphrase a quote ... "You guys are so inspirational. When I find myself complaining or feeling sorry for myself, I just think of you and realize it could be so much worse."
I understand the sentiment behind this, but understand me here, that doesn't make us feel better.
I mean ... I guess that's a positive thing. The statement though invokes eye-rolling. I'm not sure why. It might be that to me it sounds more like, "Hey ... your life really sucks right now. Thank God mine doesn't suck as bad." I know that's not the sentiment behind it and I'm being overly sensitive, but just how it feels.
We NEVER wanted or asked to be an inspiration.
I would love to NOT be an inspiration if this is the way inspiring others occurs.
I have begged God to let us not be an inspiration.
I have begged God to PLEASE give us a simple, quiet life of nothingness.
Back to my point ... here it is:
Stop complaining about stupid stuff.
It's annoying to us who are really going through real-life issues.
Know that people going through real-life issues wish they had your problems.
So, your hair cut didn't work out the way you planned it?
So what. It'll grow back.
So, you burned dinner?
Big deal. Eat a sandwich.
So, your kids are driving you crazy?
Be thankful your kids are healthy and CAN drive you crazy.
So, traffic's bad?
Be thankful you have a car and can drive wherever you want because you're not stuck in a hospital 24/7.
So, you hate your job?
Be thankful you have a job.
So, you didn't sleep well?
Just don't even get me started on that one.
There are a million complaints out there that, in the grand scheme of life, are totally unimportant.
Instead of complaining, be grateful.
Thank God for the mundane. What we wouldn't give for that!
Thank God you have all your chickadees under one roof at night, safe, sound, and healthy.
Thank God that you and your husband actually get to sleep in the same bed every night.
Thank God that you can go in your kitchen and whip up a meal.
Thank God that you can go outside and feel the sun and wind on your face.
Just thank God for your life.
I realize this does sound insensitive.
People like to complain. I complained WAY more before such adversity hit our family.
I find myself, even in our circumstances, thanking God daily for each moment.
We have come in contact with multiple families who have faced tougher circumstances than we have and some who are still fighting longer than we have been. When I hear their stories, I thank God because, honestly people, life can always be worse. I find myself in the same position as those people who say we inspire them, being inspired by those who are facing worse odds.
As I face this new year, I want to be more grateful.
Most of all, I want healing for my baby girl's body. I have solidly prayed for this. I have claimed it. I have rebuked sickness. I have spoken everything I know to speak and done everything I know to do. Ultimately, my daughter is in God's hands. He's her daughter first and I have to remind myself of that when I get anxious about what's going on. My hands are tied. It's all up to Him.
Knowing His character, I just have to trust in His will and His ways. Although I don't understand a lot of what I see here and my heart breaks for our family and for other families, I simply have to surrender.
Surrender looks different these days. It looks like screaming. It looks like anger at times. It looks like questioning His ways. It looks like loads and loads of tears. But, in the end, it looks like open hands, and an open heart that says, "I don't understand this. It seems wrong. But, I'm trusting in Your leading and Your plan."
Please be more grateful this year. Complain less. Thank God more, even in the messy stuff.
Life can turn on a dime. Treasure each and every second. Love harder than you ever have.
Goodbye, 2016. You've been hell for us, for sure. But, thank you for allowing me to see what a wonderful family I've been blessed with and what a wonderful God I serve through it all.
May 2017 be better for all of us!
As far as an update on La Petite Belle's progress, I don't have a whole lot to say. Her liver levels have stabilized and it seems her hemoglobin is not dropping as drastically and quickly as it was a week or two ago. She was finally seen by a GI specialist on Friday, who spent a significant amount of time learning about her case. She is a complicated case. I am hopeful in that he seems eager to help us figure this gut thing out, and doesn't just say, "well, you know her gut just doesn't work well right now." He wants to start with the least invasive methods first, so she has been started on even more medications that can help her gut to move. We will give these a few days before moving on to the next thing. Her vomiting seems to have gotten worse over the last couple of days. So much so now, that her esophagus and throat seem to be irritated and inflamed. It actually hurts to swallow and she has lost her voice. If she's not vomiting, she's sleeping, as the anti-nausea meds make her tired. We are so ready to get this issue solved and for her to have relief. She's definitely growing weary. You can imagine what it's like to vomit every few hours each day. Combine that with throat and mouth pain, and you've got misery. She's been in the bed more, but we are constantly encouraging her to stand at least twice a day and sit up. That's also hard to do when you feel crummy and are groggy from meds.
Please pray for wisdom and guidance for these doctors. I do feel, at times, she always has them shaking and scratching their heads. I know they are doing the best that they can do and want so desperately to fix her, but it's equally frustrating for us when there are no answers. Also, pray for her stomach and intestines to completely heal and work properly. Pray that her kidneys will still recover and for increased strength.
Thank you all for praying, standing, and believing with us for our sweet girl's healing.
If you would like to financially support Katie's (aka La Petite Belle) journey to healing, you can find more information here: www.gofundme.com/Katieg. All funds go to cover medical bills and expenses.