Tuesday, August 9, 2016

"Ugly"

That's the word that La Petite Belle used to describe herself. It broke my heart, because all I see is beauty and strength when I look at her.

She was chosen to carry the torch in the hospital's celebration of the opening ceremony of the Olympics. When she asked, "Why me?" The answer was "because you're a champion." She has been working SO hard in physical and occupational therapy, sitting up at the edge of the bed or a wheelchair for three hours at a time, and then at least one other time throughout the day. She's really pushing herself harder and harder each day. There's NO DOUBT that she is a true champion and totally deserved to carry that torch.

I had to sign a photo release form so that they could photograph her. I asked La Petite Belle is she was OK with that. She said she was.

I have avoided posting tons of pictures of La Petite Belle as she's been in this fight because she doesn't look like her old self. The steroids have done such damage to her body ... major damage to her skin and, of course, the "moon face." The swelling will go away with time as she gets off of the steroids, but that will still be slow. And, the scars on her skin will fade, again, over time.

She decided that she would work on fixing her hair and even put on makeup for the ceremony. When she looked in the mirror, she said she was ugly .... that her face was fat, her hair was thin and didn't look good, her skin was covered in stretch marks and bruises, and so on and so forth. 

If she only knew how beautiful she really was.

After I told her that she was definitely not ugly, but beautiful, she said, "Mama, I see the way people look at me."

That broke my heart even more. 
I knew it was true because I've seen the way people look at her.

People don't mean harm, but when they look at her, they see a sick child.
She's so much more than that.

It broke her daddy's heart even more. What he told her was so good ...
"People are shallow. They don't think about what others have been through. I promise you, that anyone who sees you and knows your story, will see only a beautiful young woman who has faced things in her life that no one should have to face. And you conquered it. And, one day, you'll meet a man, and although you may hate your scars, he will love and cherish them, because they will have given him the best gift of his life:  you."

Here's the video of her torch-carry ...
video

I knew that people would look at her and see someone they didn't recognize. But, she is the same person she was ... witty, funny, compassionate, and definitely beautiful. 

As I type this, we are currently back in the ICU for another GI bleed. Because the bleeding isn't stopping, the doctors will do another scope (her 6th one since we've been here) today. We don't know what each day holds here, each moment. One day, our girl is rolling around in her wheelchair passing out candy to the nurses on the floor and spiking the ball to her therapist and the next day severely bleeding with low blood pressures, needing to come down to ICU. Things can change so quickly.

The only thing we do know is that despite how much things change here, our God never changes. His plans are always good. He is always faithful. He always heals. He always loves. He always carries. We are hanging on to every bit of who He is and trusting Him as we continue down this road.

Thank you all again for your love and support. Your prayers mean the world to us and to La Petite Belle. Please pray for a great report again from this scope today and more improvement.
If you would like to financially support Katie's (aka La Petite Belle) journey to healing, you can find more information here: www.gofundme.com/Katieg.  All funds go to cover medical bills and expenses.

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