Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Train Up

Yesterday morning, I leaned over my baby girl and kissed her forehead. I hugged her as much as I could hug her over all the lines attached to her body. And, I said what I say every day to her, "You are an amazing girl. I love you."

Then, I said, "I am also amazed at how hard you are fighting this and not giving up."

She said to me, "It's because of you."

I said, "What do you mean?"

And, my sweet pain-med-induced girl said this: "It's what you always taught me ... Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Tears streamed down my face.

If you only knew how much pain medication my girl is on, you would appreciate even more the fact that she could quote Scripture. Most people can't quote a verse fully lucid.

To again say how amazing she is just isn't enough.

We've seen how simply pure-hearted this girl is through this whole process. People say lots of stuff on pain meds, usually not good stuff. Everything that has come out of our girl has been pure ... at times, frustrated and angry ... but, always pure. Beau and I are just in awe of her and her faith.

Our time in ICU has been tumultuous, up one day and down the next. Just when we think we might have a shot at getting out, something sets us back.

La Petite Belle's kidneys are tired. They're tired from the medications. They're tired from all the fluid. They are saying she has an "acute kidney injury". This will take time to heal, especially as long as she's requiring lots of fluid. They tried to pull her off for a day to see if her kidneys would simply respond to diuretics and they did not. 

She had another GI bleed last Friday, which set her back and has prolonged her being on CRRT (Continuous Renal Replacement Therapy - 24-hour dialysis). Her bleed didn't last very long after more blood and platelets were given. However, she's still requiring too much fluid to attempt to take her off again.

And, now we have another issue which they think may be pancreatitis. How bad the pancreatitis is has not yet been determined. All we know is she is in a lot of pain and now they are having to put her back on pain meds she had stopped. According to the doctors, this can be extremely painful and can last days or longer. But, it can also be mild. We are definitely praying for mild and quickly resolving for her. She has been through enough.

Her liver levels were also elevated last week, but ended up leveling out after a few days. Thank you, Jesus! 

It seems like we're in this cycle ... a GI bleed, kidney issues (or new organ issues), bleeding stops, less fluid, attempts to get off CRRT, a GI bleed, and so on. This GI bleeding needs to STOP. I mean ... TOTALLY STOP ... as in NO MORE. That is the key to most issues because it affects how much fluid she gets, which affects her kidneys.

She's also losing lots of strength and has muscle wasting from lying in the bed for so long. She cannot get out of the bed as long as she's on CRRT. She has been working with physical therapy and occupational therapy every day to simply do exercises in the bed to help build her strength up. This is all very taxing on her. She sleeps on and off throughout the day. I'd personally rather her sleeping. The pain meds they are giving her are pretty hard-hitters and sometimes she's very forgetful. But, honestly I'd love for her to forget a lot of stuff she's had to go through. 

My mama's heart still breaks every day as I watch her hurt. I don't think that will ever change. And, I don't think there will be a day where I won't cry. I didn't know a person could actually cry every day for so long. 

However, I do rejoice in this ... that my sweet, precious daughter knows Jesus. And, not only knows Jesus, but has always wanted to serve him her whole life. I rejoice over the tremendous amount of faith she has and how much she is teaching us as her parents.

As you've read this post, you know specifically what to pray for in La Petite Belle's body. And, I thank you immensely for that. Thank you for praying, believing, and standing with us for La Petite Belle's complete healing.

I read this Scripture yesterday - Luke 11:8b-9a:
"... if you keep knocking long enough he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence. And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for."

And, so, I will keep knocking.
I will keep asking.

Thank you for doing the same with us.

If you would like to financially support Katie's (aka La Petite Belle) journey to healing, you can find more information here: www.gofundme.com/Katieg.  All funds go to cover medical bills and expenses.


Chipparoo said...

In God we TRUST.

Darriet said...

Wow, Beautiful scripture mom. Katie, parents, family, keep the faith as my grandma would say, keep holding on. We know that God is a healer. Be strengthened in Jesus mighty name.