Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Bright Spots.

I look for bright spots in our days here. Some days they are few and far between. Some days I have to just remind myself of the ones that have happened in the past because the day itself hadn't produced any bright spots at all.

Yesterday was a hard day. A really hard day for La Petite Belle, which means a really hard day for Mama Belle.

Her nausea and pain was extreme, despite the meds they had her on. Most of the days are filled with just trying to control her pain. As you can imagine, this is a lot for a parent to bear. I'm pretty much in and out of tears most of the day. Imagine your child crying in pain and there's nothing you can do. Imagine your child crying because they are so hungry and you can't give them anything to eat. It's definitely not something I would wish on my worst enemy. It really is a lot to bear. The days go by very slowly as I just hold her hand and pray for some type of relief for her ... for her healing to be seen quicker ... for good news.

Yesterday, at one point, she asked me to pray for her because her pain was so bad. La Petite Belle never really asks us to pray for her. We pray for her every day, but this time it was more of a desperate plea from her to me. Of course, I prayed.

Her pain subsided for a little while. She has moments where she's okay. They just happen to be small, short moments throughout the day.

Bright Spot #1: Her pain was gone for a brief moment.

Bright Spot #2 came later.

The nurse came in and said that we had visitors ... friends of friends. I peeked out of our window, but had no idea who they were. La Petite Belle was nauseous and not up for visitors, so I stepped out of the room.

Two lovely ladies stood there with gift bags filled with cards and stuffed animals. Turns out a local church, where Beau knows the pastors, gathered these things together for her. One of the pastors showed up a few days ago with a stuffed animal and prayed for La Petite Belle. She was having a good day that day and was able to really talk to him. I thought that was such a sweet gesture.

But, afterwards, that pastor went back to his church and had all his kids praying for La Petite Belle. They each made her cards and put gifts together for her. But, what one of the ladies proceeded to tell me next brought me to tears.

One of the kids said that he felt that God wanted him to give her this envelope.

The envelope included all of his Christmas money. I couldn't even believe what an amazing act of compassion and generosity was being displayed from such a young person, who didn't know my La Petite Belle at all. She is a stranger to him. My first instinct, as most of ours would be, was to give it back. But, I couldn't. I just stood there in tears. I hugged the ladies and they mentioned coming back another day.

When La Petite Belle opened up the envelope, neither of us expected to see over $200 inside. Wow. Still blows me away that a kid would do such a thing, when that's even a hard thing for an adult to do.

It also reminds me of the woman who gave all that she had as an offering.
" ... Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, "Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on." Mark 12:43-44

This was all this kid had. And, as Jesus spoke about the woman being blessed, I know that God will honor this boy's giving and bless him also.

Let's call that last part Bright Spot #3 because it was such an unexpected act of kindness.

La Petite Belle especially loved the giant monkey at the top of her bed here. At one point, during her pain, she was sitting up and squeezing that monkey with all she had.

We are so grateful to everyone who is supporting us and helping to carry us through this. Saying "we are grateful" or "thank you" really just doesn't seem to express how deep our gratitude is.

We are continuing to trust God with every core of our being. He is good. His plans are always for good. He is our Healer. He loves us. He loves my sweet baby girl more than I can even imagine.

I don't understand this. I don't know why this is happening. I don't know what God's up to.
All I can do is keep trusting in who He says He is and how He's proven Himself to be faithful in the past, not only to others, but to my family and to me.

If you would like to financially support Katie's (aka La Petite Belle) journey to healing, you can find more information here: www.gofundme.com/Katieg.  All funds go to cover medical bills and expenses.