Wednesday, June 10, 2015

However, Lord.

Weeks back I posted about putting La Petite Belle's healing totally in God's hand. Whether God would choose to heal her miraculously, which would, of course, be everyone's preference, or whether He would choose another method would be totally up to Him. We surrendered all control and said, "God, HOWEVER You desire to heal our baby girl we will take." We do not want to try to control this at all because we know nothing ... He knows all. We stopped praying for specific paths or ways for Him to heal her. That's like saying, "God, here's the way we need You to work," when God is really the One who knows what's best.

That's hard to do. Because we know what way we think is best in situations. We know what makes sense in our minds. We know what will work for us.

But, ultimately, we have to trust that really God knows what's best. And, sometimes what may be best may not make sense to us at all. We may not see any good in our situation at all either. It may seem horrible to us. But, God always has a plan. His ways are always good. 

The big news of yesterday was that the donor for La Petite Belle's transplant was not only selected, but contacted to see if she was willing to go forward with the procedure. I say "she" because the only news we know is that the donor is a 40-year-old woman. That's all we will know until after a year post-transplant.

We, of course, were thrilled!

But, right after I heard that news, and after I had thanked the Lord for providing this donor for my sweet girl, I remembered that previous post I had written. I thought about my "however" and how this was our last option, but God has made it the one He will use.

I also thought about the fact that He is still our Healer. Although this woman is donating and supplying something that will ultimately save my daughter's life, God is still the Healer. God can and is using so many people to be a part of this great story of healing for my daughter. It's actually an amazingly beautiful thing that I see unfolding ... so many moving parts working together to create this incredible story.

Why did this happen? We've stopped asking that question because we will never know the answer. The first few weeks we did ask a lot, but the "why' question just torments your mind and leads you to a dead end.

We only ask "what" questions now:
What will you do, Lord?
What will you use us for in this?
What do you want from us through this?
What can we do with this path we've been given?
What will we show to others?
What will we do?

We are thankful for this donor. So very thankful.
We are hopeful and we are expectant more than anything.

Is it going to be hard? Undoubtedly, yes. 
We know that our God will lighten the load and surround us, but this will be hard. All we can do is trust in God to get us through Day 1 to Day 365. I say 365 days because the medical community doesn't consider someone "cured" per se until a year post-transplant. About four-six months post-transplant, she should show signs of really being back to her normal self.

Now that the donor has agreed, we wait for a date.
She will need to be prepped and her schedule be arranged. This may take a couple of weeks.
La Petite Belle will also have to be prepped beforehand with chemotherapy to rid her body of all those bad cells. And, then those beautiful, healthy stem cells will be put in her and the waiting begins, as they start to perform and do their work.

Thanks again for all prayers! Please continue to pray for us.

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1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

Mama Belle,
I had no idea I had slacked on reading your blog so long until I did a "quick" check today. Whoa!
I'm just a lowly stranger on the other side of the US, but I want to give you hope from the we've-almost-made-it-through side. Our 11yo boy was diagnosed with leukemia 3 years ago now. We are finally coming to the close of treatment. Two more years of monitoring... It's phenomenally tough. Your baby you've tried to protect, all the decisions and non-optionals, the whole Broviac/port/line flushing and care thing, hair loss (gotta be so hard for a girl!) months spent in hospitals, the family split up, the songs you don't sing in church anymore (Lord, make me Christ-like whatever it takes!?! - ummmm, no.) We've been on the edge of death so many times. I really never wanted to have to trust God this much!
The good side IS there though. You see how good God is. How good His people are. How blessed you are to have THIS DAY together. That life is short always, and it's easy to live in a bubble of denial when everything is going right. That Make-A-Wish, although not something I wanted to experience AT ALL, is really amazing! That a "boring-nothing-to-do" day is an ABSOLUTELY AWESOMELY FANTASTIC day!!! : )
It seems so unbearable at the time, but I can see so much blessing as I look back. Looking ahead is still uncomfortable, but I think that's life. We might still lose our son "too early", but we've had an extra 3 years of VERY intense (haha!) time with him. Leukemia/blood disease is not good, but God IS. All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called, according to His purpose. Hang on there!
Hugs and prayers.