Friday, June 5, 2015

God's Provision

As I write this post, it's another late night in our hospital room. La Petite Belle just got her beloved dose of Benadryl. She's out and I sit here in the dark thinking about the last couple of days.

Not much has changed for us. There was some delay in getting our last dose of ATG meds so we actually had to skip a day {long story, which involves me asking the question: "Who can I complain to about this?" ... and complain I did ... in a sweet, nice way of course, like I do everything (wink)}.

The ATG side effects, after the first day, were hives ... itchy, burning hives showed up the second day. The more severe side effects from the first day did not come back. The hives spread even more the third day. They didn't itch, just burned and were hot to the touch. Because we were able to skip the one day, her hives stopped burning as much and she was able to shower and kinda get back to her normal self for a while. It was nice. Her sister came and stayed a while. We played games and most importantly, laughed. The nurse came into the room and said, "It's so good to hear her laughing." You see ... she's been pretty miserable lately, as you can imagine.

But, in these last couple of days, there have been other changes that have taken place. Not only are we looking at being in Houston for approximately four months, but I just emailed my resignation to my boss. 

I have seen the amount of care La Petite Belle needs in only the four days we have been here and I realize this is a full-time job for me. I'm not only her mother, but her health advocate. My focus and attention is on getting her healed and healthy again. For me to continue to work is pretty impossible right now. Not only would it be unfair to my family, but unfair to the company. 

Do we need the money and second income? Absolutely, yes! Even more now.

But, God has shown us just within the past week that He will provide for us. We just need to trust that He will. There have been small things here and there, and a few big things that He's done ... from one person dropping off a meal to us, to another person cleaning our house ... from money being left in our mailbox, to someone providing us a place to stay while in Houston. It's simply been amazing. We have a need and God meets it.

God's provision is not dependent on a second income. He can provide for us now just like He did when I was working. I'm convinced this is another area where God will and has already shown Himself faithful to us.

La Petite Belle said it best last night, "Just quit already." She knows the stress I'm under and knows that she needs me. She doesn't want work to be an issue through this process. She said, "God will provide." {From the mouths of babes ...}

I was truly excited about my new position at work ... really excited. I was looking forward to diving into it all head-first. But, those were my plans. God had another job for me and it requires all of me right now.

This will not be forever. Not at all. Any of you who know me, know I'm a worker. I work hard. I'm definitely not the type to sit at home. I literally feel like I'm gong stir-crazy in this hospital room, not able to talk to many people. Even after a few days at home, I start to get anxious. When I left yesterday to go home so that I could finally take a shower {yes, you read it right ... take a shower because there are no showers in the ICU rooms ... totally ridiculous! Yes, someone will also hear my complaint about this}, I had forgotten how good the sun felt on my skin. It felt amazing!

When this is all over with and we've walked through it, I know God has a plan for my family and me at the end. I have no idea what it is, but I know He does.

In the natural, we may look at the numbers and think we may not have enough money to handle all that we need to handle. But, I am confident that God will provide for everything that we need. This is just another area where we will need to trust God and where He will be glorified. 


Stephanie said...

Hi Daphne,
I don't know personally, but I'd love to help. I don't know your address, etc. Would consider a PO Box or GoFundMe account so I can support your family in some way? Stephanie

Daphne Gaspard said...

Stephanie ... I do have a friend who will be setting one up soon once we get all the details. Thanks so much for asking. :)