Tuesday, May 12, 2015

This was supposed to be her time.

I've posted so much about everything we're going though with La Petite Belle. I simply have to post because for me it empties out my thoughts onto a page and frees space up in my brain for new thoughts. Space up there is limited these days and I need every nook and cranny.

Not only for that reason do I post, but also to journal as we go through this so that I can look back once we reach the other side on what I've learned and all God has done.

But, my thoughts are also with my precious other daughter, K Belle.

I am wracked with guilt over not being able to spend the time with her this last month and the coming months like I've always intended. I've told her this. Beau's told her this. And, of course, she understands. But, this was supposed to be her time. She says she could use less attention and it's all okay.

This is her last full week of high school. She graduates next weekend.

I had planned on spending mucho time with her, imparting as much maternal wisdom I had into her before she flew the coop.

But, my time with her has, of course, been limited. I'm trying to catch any and every moment to smother her with love and words.

There was senior prom ... no date, not because she wasn't asked, but because she just wanted to go alone. She figured she'd have more fun this way! I do love how independent she is. She really doesn't care what people think and does what she wants. Sometimes every decision related to this is not to my liking, but I love that quality she possesses.

She would've rather dressed up Oliver (aka demon dog) and taken him. Thank God, there were no dogs allowed.

And, here she goes with yet another dog ...

Now, I try to plan a graduation party. I'm not at 100% like I usually am when it comes to parties and such. You all know this is my area of expertise.

By the end of the week, we're hoping to know test results and plan out our summer.

As we wait, I try to be the best mom I can to both of my girls, who each need me now more than ever.  And, we try to live as normal a life as possible.