Friday, May 29, 2015

"Let me know if there's anything you need."

This is the phrase I have heard the most in the last month. 

Almost every day or, as we get further along on this journey, every few days, people send me messages that say this statement: "Let me know if there's anything you need."

It's extremely humbling. The fact that someone is saying they care so much and they want to help my family.

But, this is what I've learned through this ... I don't know what I need on a daily basis.

There is only one thing I can think of that I "need" and that's for my daughter to be well.

That's the only thing I can think of that I NEED.

After I found out the news regarding La Petite Belle not having a transplant match within our family, I was disappointed. Cried, but just a bit because La Petite Belle doesn't want to see me cry. She really doesn't. I brushed away the tears quickly and went on. I texted a few friends to let them know what was going on.

One friend simply said, "I'm on my way."

That's it. I didn't ask her to come. I didn't want to put her out. I didn't want to be a bother.

I think that's how people in our situation feel. We just don't want to bother or burden anyone with anything. Or even seem like we "need" anything.

My friend didn't say, "Let me know if you need anything." She just basically told me what I needed. Because I didn't "need" anything really. Nothing. but, she knew I needed a friend.

She didn't have to bring me anything or even say anything. She was just there. That's huge right now.

Beau ended up staying with La Petite Belle so I could run some errands I needed to get done with this friend. She just drove me around and we talked. Nothing special.

Funny thing was that she asked me if I was hungry or wanted to just get something to drink. I could not even decide if I was hungry or what I wanted to drink.

She offered all kinds of suggestions. I didn't know if I wanted even a bottle of water or a cup of coffee. I just didn't know. Normally, I'm a pretty decisive person and know exactly what I want or need. Not anymore.

So, I say all this so that people know that I'm really not going to tell you what I need. I appreciate you saying you want to help and I appreciate the sentiment SO MUCH. But, as each day goes on, I'm not going to call you or text you and tell you what I need. I hope that doesn't sound harsh. I simply don't have the mental capacity to stop and figure out who to contact when nor what I need to begin with.

So, if you want to do something, just do it.

That's the answer right there.

If you want to show compassion towards someone or you want to help someone in need, you just do it. Don't wait for them to tell you they need something. We kinda miss the boat when we do that I think.

If we're gong to be Jesus to the world, we shouldn't wait for a need to arise to put our faith into action. We should be proactive in our faith. Let's not wait around for someone to say, "I need", but be there in advance before the need occurs. Make sense?

Jesus didn't wait for others to come to him and tell Him their needs. He went to them and told them what they needed.

Seems like that's where we're at now in our lives.

If God lays something on your heart to do for someone else, just do it. Don't wait for them to tell you to do it. Just do it ... just like the old Nike phrase.

In most cases, you probably already know what they need anyway.

So, I hope you hear my heart in this and it doesn't sound harsh at all because we are so grateful. This is just what I'm learning through the process. 

So instead of asking others how you can help them, just ask yourself, "How can I help?" God will give you the answer.


caryn said...

I learned this lesson going through my sister's cancer diagnosis and treatments. Folks were kind and didn't know what to say, but they wanted us to know that they cared, so they'd say "let me know if you need anything." I NEED the chemo to work! I NEED my sister to live. That's it. Since that experience, I am very sensitive to other people and what they are going through and instead of offering my sincere but empty words of sympathy or concern, at the very least I offer to pray for them- and then I actually PRAY. You're right on with this blog entry and once again I am reminded to just DO things for people in need- to be the hands and feet of Jesus. True ministry. Thanks Daphne.

KayKayMarie said...

This is an enlightening and insightful post. In many cases actions are better than words. What a good reminder. Even if/when your needs aren't outwardly expressed God is faithful to supply all your needs. May this be a season of experiencing God's provision through others. May it be thoroughly encouraging Mama Belle!