Wednesday, January 21, 2015

His Voice

Yesterday, during my morning drive, as I was praying and reflecting on my life, God brought something back to my remembrance.

It was the sweetest thing and such a great memory.

Over twenty years ago, God spoke to me. And, when I say "spoke", I don't mean like that deep, distinguished Morgan Freeman voice. It was a still, small voice. I heard it SO clearly. What He said changed my life. I listened to Him. I trusted His voice.

I was in Fort Worth, Texas, staying at the home of Dave Roever. I was there because Beau (my somewhat, non-official, "let's keep it on the DL" boy friend, not boyfriend) was playing bass on Dave's daughter's album project. He had invited me to come with him. Of course, I said yes. Sounded like fun.

Aw ... look ...

It was a beautiful Saturday morning and I had gone outside to take in the scenery and breathe in the fresh air. I was also having a little conversation with God.

I didn't know where this thing with Beau was going. I just knew I liked him, he liked me, and we had fun together. He made me laugh. And, if you know me, that's probably right up at the top of my list as requirements of people I befriend. He was sweet to boot and went out of his way to make me feel special. 

That's what I knew.

But, I didn't know how long it would last. Was it the real thing? No clue.

I had dated other guys before Beau. The relationships before him were long, committed relationships. And, then, after two of those long relationships ended, I went through that "I'm going to just date around" phase and not get serious at all. That lasted a year or so and then I got into yet another serious two-year relationship, which also failed and left me hurt, along with all the others.

So, why would I want to jump into another relationship if it was just going to end up in more heartache? I didn't want to. 

On the deck that day, I asked the Lord to tell me what to do. I even argued a bit with him about why Beau shouldn't be the one. He had some flaws, y'all. I mean ... I'm sure I had a few too ... I mean ... maybe one or two. 

But, then God said this, "He's not like the others. He will treat you the way you deserve to be treated." Then, I argued a bit more, listing some other things that I thought might not work out for us as an actual couple. But, I knew at that moment, that if I wanted to make a change for the better and be with a man who God had set up for me, I needed to listen and follow toward what God wanted for me. At that moment, I knew that Beau would be the man I married.

Now, don't get me wrong, we've had hard moments in our marriage. But, because we both knew that God had ordained our marriage, we pressed through them. There have been hurtful words spoken, doors slammed, and tears shed. There have been times when I think Beau may have wanted to throw in the towel. Maybe there were times I did too.

But, again, we pressed through.

The good times WAY outnumber the bad. They really do.

And, God can heal any hurt and restore any broken relationship. I really, truly believe that.

I'm glad I listened to the voice of God that day. Actually, not just listened, but pursued what God thought was best for me.

It really had been a great ride and I'm looking forward to SO much more!