Thursday, January 8, 2015

First and Foremost

Here it is the eighth of January and I'm just getting around to my first post of 2015. Yay me! (There's that sarcasm I'm so loved for. I haven't lost that part of me yet despite my many attempts. Mama Belle ... proudly serving sarcasm since 2007. Ah ha ... I kill myself.)

I am proudly blogging this first post from my brand spankin' new computer. I have been computerless for about a month. Pretty hard to blog or do anything with no computer. This little MacBook Air is the most beautiful thing I've seen this year. I am definitely in love.

With that said, I have yet to talk about the new year and my resolutions. I am not a huge fan of resolutions. In the past, I didn't make many because I knew I would be disappointed when I failed at keeping them. But, as I grow older, I realize resolutions are a good thing. Even if they're not kept, it's always positive and motivating to make goals for yourself. I'm beyond excited about what lies ahead! 

I have quite a bit of goals and surprisingly none of them involve losing weight. I think this may be the moment where I have just come to grips with what my weight is and am more accepting of the way I look. My feelings are this related to my weight/body/looks and the like: It is what it is. I will do what I can to help myself along pretty consistently, but I'm not going to kill myself or make myself miserable because of it. If I want a cookie, I'm going to eat a cookie. If I can't run or exercise on certain days, then no big deal. I'm not going to beat myself up over things like these like I have in the past. Life is too short, and it's just not worth the misery. As I get older, my looks have become less of an issue for me. I'll just attempt and try to do the best with what God's given me and be thankful and happy with what I have. Done. Moving on.

#1 - I really want to love people more. 
Like really love them. Not just tolerate them. And, believe it or not, that can be very hard to do. But, I want to truly see each person the way God sees them. I've been praying for God to give me His eyes so that I can see each person the way He does and not the way I do. Because I'm flawed y'all ... really flawed.

#2 - I want to care less about trivial things or things I cannot control.
This is a big one for me and I've actually been working on this since last year. I'm one hundred times better than I was the year before at letting things just slide off my back. As Taylor Swift would say, to "shake it off." (My girls just died because I referenced that song yet again. I sing it loudly in the car. They do not approve.) But it's SO true. It's such a waste of energy and emotion to worry or fret over things like this.

#3 - I want to be more accepting of myself.
I just kinda covered this above when I spoke about weight and my looks. But, it goes deeper. I want to be accepting of who I am on the inside too. Trust me ... you can say all kinds of negative, nasty, ugly things about me and they would probably be an improvement over the things I say to and about myself. I am definitely my worst critic and extremely hard on myself. I want to be more thankful of how God made me and designed me. I want to be more thankful for the gifts God's given me and not put them down or compare them to others' gifts. Actually I want to take it a step further and embrace the gifts He's given me and simply use them to my full potential. I want to truly believe that God thinks I'm good enough and His opinion is the only one that matters ... not someone else's or even my own.

#4 - I want to organize and simplify my life.
This is going to happen with some of the changes in my job situation. But, I so need this desperately in my life. I need a fresh start. I am already in the process of decluttering and getting ready to sell our home. I also need this related to our day-to-day home life ... the kids'  activities, the grocery shopping, menu planning, chores, and the dreaded laundry. My life is screaming loudly for this goal to be accomplished.

#5 - I want to be more available to my children.
Again, my job changes are going to help a lot with this. My youngest especially needs more of my attention when it comes to her schoolwork and keeping herself organized. The last year I have felt like I just simply have not been able to be around as often and even be aware of all that's going on at school. It's pretty much sucked. I struggled with that all last year and was positive I had won the "Worst Mom" award. Now, my kids are going to absolutely loathe having me around so much and all up in their business. Yay! La Petite Belle already says, "I'm too addicted to her." And, K Belle has similar sentiments, but has gotten a lot more appreciative since her surgery a few weeks ago. She realized how awesome her mom is! Score! She's graduating so that's a whole other issue I'm going to have to be dealing with ...  not just the plans of graduation, but the emotional roller coaster I will be on.

#6 - I want my ministry goals to line up with God's ministry goals.
I'm excited that this year I will be able to devote more time to leading our women's ministry. Sometimes people who are in ministry miss it and make ministry about their own image or the image of their ministry. It's easy to do. Everyone wants to look good. Successful ministries are a desire of all ministers. But, I want to make sure that it is not my focus. Of course, I want success for the ministry. But, I want success in the way God would want it ... women are changed and in that change, affect change in others and their community.

#7 - I want to blog more.
Yep. I said it. I do feel like the last year that I haven't even had time to have one coherent thought, much less an entire blog post. I would like that to change because of my love for blogging and wanting to keep a consistent record of my life for my children. We shall see.

As I read over these goals to Beau, he questioned why he wasn't included in any of these goals. He said, "What about me?" My reply: "Because you already have it too good."

No, for real. He does.