Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Such is life.

I could write about how completely overwhelmed I am about pretty much most things in my life right now. And, then I would end it with a Scripture that I can cling to and tell you that I'll be OK. Don't worry about me.

But ... ugh ... I don't want your pity. And, gosh darnit, I'm stronger than this.


Stupid stress and overwhelmingness. I hate you!

I could write about how I now cry at the drop of a hat. No ... like for real. You tell me you're disappointed in me or that I have to skip lunch tomorrow or that you appreciate me ... you'll get tears. So, it's best if we don't speak.


I hate waterworks!

I could also write about how I'm a disappointment to myself since I've had zero time to complete my half-marathon training and the weather here has been very uncooperative with my schedule. I'm unhappy with myself because I've gotten fluffier this winter.

I hate fluffy!

I could also write about how I basically baked a whole cake last night just to eat a few spoonfuls of batter. Then, ended up eating some of the baked cake too. Finding comfort in cake batter may be a problem.

I ate cake instead of going to the gym, despite the fact that I was dressed for the gym. I know. Ridiculous.

I hate cake .... oh, wait ... no I don't.

I'm going through some hard stuff right now ... not just cake-batter hard stuff ... but real God-stuff.

So, here I am saying ... don't be disappointed in me, my 10 faithful readers. I'm inconsistent. I have no desire to write.

I know that there are lessons to be learned and other great stuff on the other side of this, but I'm not nearly there yet.

I have this stupid thing I have going for me called "learn all lessons the hard way." It's what I apparently like to do.

Until I reach the other side, I wait on answers and just trust. Until then, I'll be here thanking God for what He's given me. Until then, I'll be as faithful in everything as I can be. Until then, I'll worship. Until then, I'll continue to try and die to myself and my selfish desires. And, until then, I'll cry. Just deal with it ... it's gonna happen.

And, I did it anyway ... here's the Scripture. {I just can't stop.}
{Psalm 26:1}

Lead me, Lord.  
{And, lead me away from cake batter.}

Yes, I know I wrote about all the things I wasn't intending on writing about. Such is life.

This post was in no way meant to be a help to anyone but me. Obviously.

Don't you dare look at me with a pity-look.

1 Comment:

Steph said...

This post may not have been to help anyone but you but it truly helped me...I have been dealing with feeling completely overwhelmed with EVERYTHING and this is typically not me...I can usually just deal with stuff and move on...but I have been can not breathe...can not sleep...cry at everything overwhelmed and I'm not sure why...nothing has really's the same stuff I always deal with...but now...I'm tired...I'm so very tired...of all of I rest in knowing God has everything under control when I feel like I am losing control...thank you for sharing..I don't feel so alone....