Thursday, September 19, 2013

The Joys of Being a Stuffer and an Exploder all Wrapped up in One

I know you probably have no idea what that title even means. Well, lucky for you, that I'm going to explain it.

This Unglued book I'm reading is kicking my butt. If you'd like to get some of the crazy out of you, you should read it. It's really good for that.

Back to the stuffer/exploder thing ...

Pretty self-explanatory:
A stuffer ... someone who stuffs their feelings.
An exploder ... someone who explodes with their feelings.

And, of course, there are two types of each. Unfortunately, I fall into all four categories. ALL. FOUR.


I stuff and explode.

I'm a walking contradiction. Awesome.

So don't you even try to label me! Ain't gonna work.

I honestly feel like exploding is way more healthy if you can control the intensity of the explosion. Really, I do. Once you've exploded and gotten everything out in the open, then you can talk it out and think more rationally.

If I can explode with you, then you know I consider you to be a close friend. But, let's face it ... we can't explode with everyone. Duh.

You're not going to be an exploder around perfect strangers or your employer or people you aren't as comfortable around. They would think you were insane. It's just not logical.

So people that you have lots of interactions with, but may not be very close to affect you in a negative way or you don't agree with them, the only thing to do is stuff your reactions and feelings. I mean ... you could get committed or lose your job.

So the solution is, of course, finding a happy medium between crazed lunatic and suffering in silence to the point of eruption or sickness.

The solution, in my opinion, depends on some pretty big things:
1. Self-control
2. Tone of voice
3. Facial expression
(which is my hardest to mask unfortunately ... lousy poker player)
4. Using wisdom
5. Choosing words very carefully

Now ... that's all the things that are related to our responsibility. As my wise old man says (aka "Beau) ... "You are only responsible for your actions/reactions, not the actions/reactions of others." Whether they respond in a positive manner is another story.

But, if you've followed the steps above, you're part is done.

And, confrontation is never fun. You should always pray about any confrontation ahead of time. God will show you if it's something you should confront or not. Pray for the person you feel like you need to confront and for a good outcome.

I'm glad you could stop by for this counseling session.

Now ... off to confront some people.

Nah. Not really. I'll just sit here and suffer in silence. ;)