Monday, February 11, 2013

50 Ways to Not Leave Your Lover

 " ... slip out the back, Jack ... make a new plan, Stan ... no need to be coy, Roy ... just listen to me ..."

I realize I'm dating myself by quoting the lyrics from that old Paul Simon song. I think that most of my blog readers will not know the song or get the title reference either . Whatever. I'm older, yeah ... we all get it. Laugh it up.
(In looking for a smirky face to put right here, I came across "Mature Woman with Sarcastic Face." Perfect and appropriate.)

Anyways ... as always .. I digress ...

This post is my tribute to this week of LOVE. 

Valentine's Day is really a crock. So ... we set aside one day out of the entire year to proclaim our love for one another?  Shouldn't that be every day? Just sayin'.

Who says you have to wait until Valentine's Day to buy chocolate or send flowers? I think that should be a regular thing. (Well ... except for the flowers. I don't care for them. They die. I like stuff that lasts.)

But, because it is a sweet little holiday, I am going to give you all I have learned in my eighteen years of marriage (Is it 18 or 19? Geez!!! It's one of them.) about how to stay in love so that you won't "leave your lover."

50 Ways to Not Leave Your Lover OR
How to Stay in Love:

1. Say what you mean. (Mind reading? Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.)
2. Tell the truth no matter what.
3. Be sensitive to each other's needs.
4. Date nights are essential.
5. Laugh. (You'd be surprised how important this one is when you've been married for a while.)
6. Look over the small things like socks on the floor & toilet paper rolls not being replaced.
7. Love every meal cooked, no matter what.
8. Voluntarily help each other.
9. Kiss and hug every day.
10. Reminisce about your dating days often. (This creates smiles & giddiness.)
11. Pour a bath for your spouse and give them some alone time.
12. Couches were made for cuddling. Do it.
13. Hand-delivered coffee is like magic.
14. Breakfast in bed even more magical.
15. Make holidays special. This doesn't have to be expensive. Just special.
16. Make birthdays even MORE special.
17. Let you spouse sleep in. Priceless.
18. Foot rubs. "Nuff said.
19. Say, "I love you," daily or more.
20. Make sure your wife knows how beautiful she is.
21. Make sure your husband knows that you'd still choose him.
22. Take mini-vacations alone even if it's just for a weekend.
23. Make an effort to be interested in what your spouse is interested in, even if you're not.
24. Talk. Have real conversations.
25. Ask your spouse about their dreams and goals.
26. Refer back to your memories of what made you fall in love with your spouse.
27. Keep love letters and cards, then read them every so often.
28. Make intimacy a priority. And, that's all I've got to say about that. ;)
29. Think of little things that would bless your spouse and do them.
30. Listen to music together.
31. Find new hobbies that you each would enjoy.
32. Be playful. (Nothing like a little wrestling or a game of chase to get you in a good mood.)
33. Cook your spouse's favorite meals often.
34. Be supportive in your spouse's endeavors.
35. Give your spouse space in the bed after cuddling time is over. Scoot.
36. Ask each other's advice.
37. Work together on decisions.
38. Give each other time to hang out with friends separately.
39. Apologize.
40. Don't be cranky. (This is a hard one when you live with someone for a long time.)
41. Always respect one another.
42. Nap together. Everyone's happier when they wake up from a nap.
43. Keep your teeth brushed and clean. For real. This is not a joke.
44. The past is the past. Keep it that way.
45. Forgive.
46. Never compare your marriage with anyone else's.
47. Do what you need to do to not be so tired that you have no time for your spouse. (Hence, the naps.)
48. Try to stay calm when your spouse is driving. (again ... hard.)
49. Talk about God often and what you're learning from Him.
50. Keep God in it and you'll make it!

Well ... that's my two cents.

Staying in love takes work because feelings fade. But, when you really love someone, you realize they're worth the fight.

I think Beau and I have a great marriage. Have we had tough times? Of course. But, we didn't give up on each other. Getting through those tough times made our marriage stronger than ever.

Now ... how about that Paul Simon song?


BaronessBlack said...

LOVELY! do know it's SAINT Valentine's day we're celebrating, right? The guy who continued to perform Christian marriage services, and help his fellow Christians until the Romans killed him, because that was they only way they could stop him.

So, yes, the cards and chocolates thing has been introduced much later. And, yes, we can proclaim our love for each other daily. But, I still think we can learn something from these stories of the Saints.
Maybe it's just an Orthodox thing! :-)
Happy St. Valentine's Day, anyway!

Daphne Gaspard said...

Ha! Yes, I know. But, here we go with the differences between you Europeans and us. It's definitely just a mushy gushy holiday. I doubt anyone even knows anything about St. Valentine. But, you know, I do because I am such a learned woman. ;)

I love you, my British friend!

Kara Chupp said...

Stopping by from my Blogher sidebar...
I'm always curious to see who they match me up with :)
Love your list and the nudge to make marriage a priority and stay in it for the long-haul through the struggles and the joys.
We all need to hear that over and over and over!

Daphne Gaspard said...

Thanks, Kara! Nice to meet you! Now over to check out your blog!

Ami said...

An excellent song! And here's a big AMEN to #35 and #48.