Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I've been in a tiny bit of denial.

I've suddenly remembered (And, by "remembering," I mean pulled this little fact out of the depths of my brain where I had hidden it under bunches of other stuff.), that in 7 days, my first year of my forties will be over. 
Yes, we're all quite disturbed by this. Beau's much-younger bride is starting to get up there. Not cool. You can't brag about your young wife when she's 41.

I was totally OK with turning 40. I was all "I look pretty good for 40," and like "No one will ever notice that I am 40, " and also "I'm gonna be even cooler now that I am 40 because people will marvel at the fact that I am 40."

Uh ... yeah. After those initial thoughts subside, reality sets in. Yeah, you're not as young as you used to be. And, trust me, EVERYONE reminds you of that fact.

Now, don't get me wrong, this year has been pretty great! I feel like I know myself even better than I ever have before and I'm OK with who I am.  I understand why older people (not 40-year-olds ... OLDER ...) get set in their ways. They know what they want and what they don't want and that's the end of it. I could possibly see myself and others around me (Beau for sure) being that way in the future.

HOWEVER, my body has become somewhat of a disappointment for me. My metabolism has gone kaput. I don't even know if I have anything called a metabolism anymore.

What's crazy is ... I'm so stinkin' hungry! I'm just hungry. 1200 calories a day just does not cut it for me. Even 1500 is a struggle. So, obviously, any weight loss at all is hard to come by. But, I'm pretty sure I'll always be working on that one.

My body cries out to me on these runs I've been taking, "What are you doing, crazy woman?" Again, I hear the "You're not as young as you used to be." I do have many more aches and pains than ever before. I don't like it. Not. At. All.

My vision has always been horrid, but lately ... sheesh! I am near-sighted, but have to do that old-people thing where you pull something far away to read it. But, when it's far away, I can't see it because of my near-sightedness. Ridiculous.

The gray hair ... getting out of control. 

OK. That sounds like a lot of complaining. I am thankful for the overall healthiness of my body, but reaching 40, now almost 41, has definitely changed a lot about it.

So, in 7 days, I will say good-bye to 40 and hello to 41.

I'm trying not to think about it until then.

On a good note ...

Well, hallelujah!


Steph from FL said...

OH THANK YOU!!! I turn 45 next year...wait...what??? How the heck did that happen?? Anyway...I'm always starving!!!!!!!!!!! Starving I tell ya!!!! So it's good to know I'm not the only one!!! :)

the domestic fringe said...

Happy Birthday!

I don't have too many years to go before 40, and I may have noticed a bit of a body breakdown going on. Ya, my grays are also out of control, and metabolism...what is that??

You don't look 40. Just so you know.