There are times when I feel like God's head is turned away from me ...
Times when I question what I am doing wrong as a child of God to make Him turn from me.
I always blame myself.
I ask, "What did I do to make You not listen to me? God I need answers. I need solutions."
If God's answers to my prayers are based upon my performance as I Christian, I'm in trouble. Because God knows I'm far from perfect. Thank God we know it's not.
But, there are always consequences to actions or decisions we have made in the past and I would never expect my God to get me out of those consequences. But, I still pray that He does because of this wonderful thing that He extends to me called grace. I don't deserve it, but He gives it to me anyway.
I'm in this sort of place right now. I'm asking God for answers. Months go by and nothing. Years go by and nothing.
I'm starting to get anxious because I'm that kind of person. I'm the I-want-answers-and-solutions-now sort of person. Patience is not my best attribute. Give me a problem & I'll have it solved in 30 seconds. That's how I work. I'm a problem-solver and I expect that God would work the same way I do. Only ... He doesn't. And, that's hard for me and can be quite discouraging.
When God's silent, I don't always know what to say. What do you say to someone you think isn't listening?
I say the same things I always do ... "God, I know You're good. God, I don't know what's going on or what You're doing, but I trust You." I even sometimes say, "God, I'm upset/hurt/angry with this situation and I need Your help. Please help me." I think God appreciates when we're honest with Him and tell Him what we really feel or think instead of being superficial in our prayers. He knows us better than we know ourselves so no use being fake with Him.
Silence in itself can be answer for the time being. It means to wait, to trust, to be still, to know that God's working it out even if we can't see it.
I'm still waiting. Still praying. Still trusting. Knowing that God is good. Knowing that God loves me. Knowing that He can make a way when things look bleak and impossible to fix.
Even if He's silent, I will not be. Even when my feelings or emotions say to quit, I will not.
I'll keep asking ... "God, I need answers. Show me what to do. Make it clear to me."
I John 5:14, "And this is the confidence we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us."
I'll keep listening.
John 10:27, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me."
I'll keep trusting.
Isaiah 12:2, "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."
I'll be still.
Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God."
Psalm 130:5, "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word do I hope."