Kinda swamped.

And, not because I live in Louisiana (saw that joke comin'), but because of the massive amount of things happening.

I don't think I mentioned the women's conference that my friends and I are throwing for a few hundred lovely ladies at our church. Here's a sneak peek for those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about.

It's gonna be pretty awesome!

Needless to say, I have been extremely busy and will be until after next weekend.

And, then there's Easter ...

So, let's say I'll be extremely busy until after Easter.

But, there is this tiny moment in between where I get to go to the beach with my girlfriends. Yep. Try not to be jealous. Our annual trip is happening right in the middle of the busyness. Can't wait! Shhh ... Don't want people to think I'm slackin'.

So, if you're in the area and want tickets to the Joie de Vivre Conference, featuring Meredith Andrews leading worship, and Nancy Alcorn speaking, you can get tickets here.

The Dessert I Nearly Killed Myself Trying to Eat

I'm at Joli today and posted the recipe for the dessert which led to my unfortunate demise here. Check it out!

Two Discoveries

1. I am an emotional eater.

I ate half a cobbler yesterday as I worked feverishly on an upcoming event. Half a cobbler. Ridiculous. I think I was a little stressed.

I've also been known to eat to relax and feel happy. I think any emotion will do.

The only time I don't eat is when I'm upset or sad. Hmmm ... 

2. I'm an "older" lady.

This weekend I was referred to as an "older lady." It was in a complimentary way as in ... "She's a pretty older lady." It's kinda like saying, "Your huge butt is cute" or "Those wrinkles around your eyes show character."

Think I'll go get some ice cream.

Expectations

I found out recently that I was the force behind someone else's distress...

Someone else's distress SEVEN months ago.

Not yesterday ... SEVEN months ago.

That something I did pushed someone away from all God wanted for them.

I didn't necessarily do anything wrong. Actually ... I didn't do anything wrong. But, the spirit in which it was received was judgmental and came from a preconceived notion of who I should be. 

Bottom line: This person does not know me or my heart. And because of that, I'm down ... discouraged ... hurt that they would judge me in this manner. Especially when what was done was out of a heart of love.

Lots of people have preconceived notions about us and we have preconceived notions about them. 

There are certain expectations of who we should be as moms, as wives, as women, as Christians. These expectations are mostly unreachable.

If we don't live up to those expectations as Christians, it could be damaging to others.

That's hard stuff. To think that one poor decision on my part could affect someone else's eternity. Talk about pressure ... pressure for us all.

Jesus is the only way. We cannot put our eyes on any human, man or woman, to determine our spiritual walk. They will fail us. It's just the way it goes. Jesus never fails.

So, today, as I figure this thing out, I'm encouraged by one thing only:

Psalm 42:5 (MSG) - Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
      Why are you crying the blues?
   Fix my eyes on God—
      soon I'll be praising again.
   He puts a smile on my face.
      He's my God. 

I will remember who my God is and where He has brought me. I will not be distracted by anything or anyone that comes against me. I will put my hope and trust in the Lord.

Beloved

I can't get this word out of my head lately. Probably because I just finished one of the best books I've ever read, Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers and it's mentioned over and over there.

Ya'll ... I have never cried reading any fiction book until now. I'm not sure if that's because I've been an emotional mess lately or because the book really affected me. Either way, I cried.

The book is a perfect picture of the love Christ has for us.

The verbal imagery is right on and the ending got me good. I saw myself in this wretched harlot who, although she thought she would never know love or feel again, and despite her constant thoughts of unworthiness, humbled herself and gave in to the only true love that sought her out.

In the book, God calls her "Beloved."

This word simply means "one who is dearly loved." But, it goes deeper than that. 

When I hear the word "beloved," and imagine God calling me that, it makes me feel desired and wanted. "My Beloved" ... meaning you are the one I seek. It's the word God uses for His chosen.

God, not only loves us, but seeks after us ... desires us. An intimate relationship requires seeking on both parts.

If only I could seek Him more ... love Him more.

I love this song by Kari Jobe. There's a line in the song that says, "Under My mercy, come and wait, till we are standing face-to-face, I see no stain on you, my child ... " If only we could fully grasp the love God has for us ... Great song!

My mama taught me well.

There are some things that my mama taught me. And, you know when Mama says it, it's right up there with those 10 Commandments. At least, that's what I always thought.

My mama taught me the rights and wrongs in a lot of areas. I don't know where she learned these most important facts ... probably from Grandma and her grandmother before her. But, I must say, she taught me well.

There are just some people out there that don't know simple rules of decency.

I am teaching the same things to my daughters. When they question why we do or don't follow these rules, I say, "Because."

Let me enlighten you.

Rule #1: Dress decently when going to the doctor (same applies to dentist).

I'm not sure why because most of the time you have to take off articles of clothing anyway, but Mom was a stickler for this one. You can wear jeans, but not shorts or God forbid sweats.

(I thought about this as I was driving K Belle to the doctor today wearing running shorts and a t-shirt, adorned with absolutely no make-up and hair pulled back in a ponytail. Mama would not be proud.)

Rule #2: Never ask what someone is cooking when you have been invited over for dinner or any other meal.

That's just rude. Someone is kind enough to invite you. You be gracious and eat whatever is served.

Rule #3: Always wash all bedding before leaving for a trip.

As Mom would say, "You'll want to come back to clean sheets."

Actually, we do an entire deep cleaning before we leave. Again, not sure why. Most of the time no one's here.

Rule #4: China (the dishes) is like gold.

I think this might be a Southern thing. Mama has several sets ... her mom's, even grandmother's. I have a couple of sets that we pull out on special occasions. But, the china Beau and I registered for years ago is still not complete and we've eaten off of it maybe five times. But, I sure do love me some china. That I definitely get from my mama.

Rule #5: Everyone must have a cast-iron skillet.

I pretty much understand that one ... cornbread, people. It's the only way.

Rule #6: Pie crusts are never to be bought.

Yeah, Mom and I struggle with this one. But her pie crusts are always way better than mine. She taunts me, but mine take less time.

Rule #7:  Thank-you notes are a must. No question about it.

I try, Mom. I really do.

Rule #8: When calling someone on the phone, you never say, "Who is this?" when the other person answers. And, if someone says that to you, you say, "Who would you like to speak to?"

I still agree with this. But, wow how our times are changin'. Our kids are not this formal anymore.

Rule #9: You never call someone after 8:00 p.m.

It's just a rule. Although I do fail miserably with my good friends on this one.

Rule #10: You decorate for every occasion.

Mama is serious about this one. The woman has three Christmas trees during Christmastime. That's not counting the ones outside. I fail miserably at this one. My spring decorating consists of a yard flag and a Publish Postpot of flowers near the front door. 

Have any such rules stuck in your head through all these years?

Control

I hate not being in control.

If I'm in control, I know that things will get done and they will get done the way I want them done ... the right way. I know a lot of you feel the same way, so don't judge me. When I'm in control, I know what the outcome will be.

I do it in almost every area of my life. It's craziness.

A friend pointed it out to me the other day as we were driving. I have mentioned my fear of bridges before. I really don't like them. It's simply due to the idea of the vehicle I'm in plunging from hundreds of feet above into water. I envision horrid scenes of being trapped in the car not being able to kick out the back window (that's what you're supposed to do by the way ... I've made sure to know) and drowning. Drowning would not be my first pick of a way to die.

But, I digress ... 

As we're driving, or should I say, I'm driving, I refer to my fear of bridges right as we're getting on one of them that I am not a fan of. She knows about my fear. I say, "But, you know what, I'm less fearful when I'm driving than when I'm just a passenger."

She says, (this woman is quite intuitive when it comes to figuring me out), "Yeah, because you're in control."

Hello. Epiphany.

That's the story of my life.

If I'm driving, I'm less fearful. It's when someone else is driving that scares me.

Wait ... isn't that part of the whole trust issue that we all have to begin with? At least that I have. I don't think I'm the only one.

I have a hard time trusting. Come to think of it, in almost every area of my life again, I have a hard time trusting, even in my relationship with God.

It should be easy by now because God has only shown Himself to be faithful to me. He has never let me down. Never.

Truth is ... the hard truth ... people will always let me down, even those people that I love and love me. They're human. I shouldn't put so much pressure on them to be perfect knowing full-well that they can't be.

The question is can I give God the steering wheel? And, then when that steering wheel is handed over, will I still fear knowing that He's the One driving me over the bridge?

This weekend I threw up my hands and gave the steering wheel over to the Lord and told Him to drive. I may have even told Him to let me out for fear of where He's taking me. 

Class of 2015

That's what was on the top of K Belle's graduation requirements.

Uh, what?

2015, people.

I'm feeling older and older every day. Even now as I watch my recorded "American Idol," I see them singing songs from their birth year, most of them being the year I graduated high school. Yeah ... I could be their mom. Not lovin' that.

We did tour K Belle's her future high school last night ... a high school of over 2000. I figure she's in for a little shock coming from her little school of a little over 250.

My kids were mostly interested in the fact that Jacee Badeaux, former "American Idol" contestant, was there singing in the chorus.

K Belle was quite excited about what is to come. She's truly pumped for this upcoming year and I'm comforted knowing that she already has some friends in her freshman class.

Freshman class?

Wait ... this little girl's gonna be a freshman?

No way.

Talk of Justin Bieber does not interest her.

La Petite Belle, that is.

As I massaged her little head last night for exactly seven minutes (time set by her) due to her "headache," we had a heart-to-heart about girlfriends.

You know that's something that's near and dear to my heart.

But, as a child, I was a lot like my mini-me.

I've already spoken about how much of a tomboy I was. She is the same.

I was expressing my concern to her about not letting anyone make her feel less than the wonderful girl she is and not trying too hard to fit in. I told her to be herself. 

She has this great interest in cheerleading now because all the girls in her class are doing it. She said, "The girls already leave me out of everything and this would be one more thing they can do without me." Pitiful.

She says the girls leave her out a lot.

I questioned her about all the times I've seen her playing with some of the other girls. We went through a few of her friends and she admitted she had one or two, maybe even three real friends.

But, then she said that it's more fun to play ball with the boys. She said, "The girls only talk about Justin Beiber, sleepovers, and their feet."

I said, "Their feet?"

She said, "Yeah, you know (raising her voice to sound more girly) like pedicures and manicures." She wasn't interested in talking about that stuff.

I giggled.

I guess the boys can be more fun sometimes.

The Words I Don't Care to Hear Anymore

My husband has been working like a dog ... tirelessly, day-after-day. Up early in the morning and working late into the night.

This has been our vacation mind you.

Yes, we went to NYC. And, yes, it was fabulous.

But, the day we returned the kitchen remodel went into full force, mainly by him.

He has had really no help at all. We did have some guys come and help move everything out of the kitchen into the garage and we did pay someone to tile the floor. Thank God! OR we'd still be working on that and be way behind.

But, as far as everything else ... installing cabinets, installing countertops, building the bar, installing the sink and garbage disposal, plumbing and electrical tasks ... he's done it all himself. And he will be doing the remainder himself.

Poor guy. He's really beat up, covered in cuts and bruises and walking like an old man.

Yesterday K Belle said, "Daddy, you should really take a nap."

I have expressed my hatred for manual labor and realized that my part of this process would happen more toward the end with the painting, organization, and design.

Or so I wished.

My Beau really needed help.

And, guess who was the only one around? Yours truly.

Anytime I heard these words: "I'm gonna need your help," or even just the calling of my name caused me to groan a bit. I knew what was on the horizon: heavy lifting and maneuvering.

Thank God, it's coming to a close. Sort of.

My stove and refrigerator are still in the garage and my dishwasher gets delivered Monday.

It's really looking good and I'm so proud of the work he's done.

Here's a sneak peek. I can't wait to show you the finished product in a few weeks.

And, did I mention I'm going on my third week of not cooking? Yep.

Slowing Down

I realized something last night.

I don't slow down.

I dream about slowing down.

But, every time I try, something throws a kink into my plans

Honestly, slowing down is not part of my make-up.

Not sure why it's so difficult to me. Even when I'm relaxing, my mind is going a mile-a-minute.

I was reminded of the Scripture last night where Elijah heard God's voice in the quiet whisper:

 Then he was told, "Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by."

    A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but Godwasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.

 When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, "So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?" 1 Kings 19:11-14

Sometimes I feel like I'm begging God to hear His voice and for a fresh, new vision of who He is ... a new revelation ... a new glimpse.

I realize He's there all the time, in the same place. But, it's me that's holding myself back from more of Him.

I'm the one that has not only moved, but can't stop moving.

"Be still" ... those words seem almost impossible.

But, how else can I hear His still, small voice, but when I'm quiet and still?

Instead of searching and running, I should be sitting still.

Even my mind races from one thought to the next.

Keeping my mind still and quiet is unthinkable.

I want God to be the One moving me and not me moving God. 

"Hurry up, God ... I need this right now." 

"God, I can't wait anymore. I have to move forward." 

"God, if You're not going to answer me, I'll have to find an answer myself."

I treat God like He's the annoying grandpa driver in front of me, going 35 mph. I just want Him to either speed it up or get out of my way.

I'm ready to slow down. 

I'm ready to be quiet.

God, I want to hear Your voice above all the noise in my head and in my life.

The German (and NYC Post #2)

See these happy people?

This was their expression the entire half hour or so that they sat next to us.

Think Frau Von Furstenberg had  a little collagen in them lips? Yikes. It made her frowny face even more frowny.

I'm totally serious. Not one smile or any other expression aside from this one the entire time.

Not only that. They sat in total silence.

The quarters were extremely tight. It was the Starbuck's in Macy's in NYC. It's always packed.

While Beau waited for our drinks, I, with the girls went to look for  a few empty seats.

There was one small section, where two people could squeeze into the booth part and one chair on the other side of the table. Basically, we only had room for three.

However, Mr. German Guy and his lovely lady had a chair across from them (the only chair in the place without a human in it)  for their bag and coats.

Beau and the girls sat down while I went to the restroom, thinking they may leave by the time I got back and Beau would snag the chair.

When I returned, the Germans were still there. Same position. Same expressions.

I walked up to our tiny area, next to the chair that held the bag & coats. I stood there for a minute and grabbed my coffee.

Beau leaned over to the German and said, (very nicely, I might add) "Excuse me. Can we use this chair?"

In my mind, I thought it was a given. No question about it. A person, a human being, does not have a seat. A bag does have a seat. Even, a coat has a seat. You take your coat and your bag and put them on your lap, and allow the human being to sit in the chair.

Heck, even men give up their seats for women.

So, that's what Beau did, after the German said something like, (in a thick German accent) "Uh, my coat ... my bag ... uh ... there are no hooks."

Beau shot him the look of death and said, "Really?"

I said, "No problem. Not a big deal." Then, I tried to fix the problem by suggesting that K Belle and I split one chair.

Between Beau and me, I am grace and mercy; he is justice. If you know me at all, that's a scary thing. But, it's true. I'm the one always trying to fix things and ease tensions. I'm the one giving excuses for other people's behavior. I'm the one wanting to give others a second chance.

Beau stood up and told me to take his seat and he stood for a while. He continued with his looks and if you know my Beau, he's got some scary looks. I'm always telling him to lift up his furrowed brow because he looks mean.

Beau and I texted back and forth while he took the German's picture and tweeted about him. I knew he was angry so I sent him the "WWJD" text. That really just makes someone more mad when they're already fuming. Ah ... gotta love it. Beau said that Jesus would curse the fig tree at the roots. Ha!

It totally didn't bother me though. If the German wanted to be a jerk, then let him be a jerk. I'm not going to let that affect me. He did succeed at his jerkdom, but I was in NYC ... in Macy's (the largest department store) ... sipping Starbuck's. He wasn't gonna get me down.

I just chalked it all up to him being German. Stereotyping, I know. But, I can do that. I've got German blood running through my veins. Those Germans are rough. I've heard stories of what my German great-grandmother used to do. I know.

More pics from the trip (No German's gonna ruin my good time.):

Natural History Museum

Subway ... The girls were scared to ride the subway until after they just did it. Hmm ... sounds like a sermon.

Gelato in Little Italy

Pastries in Little Italy

Empire State Building ... La Petite Belle was not impressed, thinking it would have been even taller.

LEGO Rockefeller Center 

St. Patrick's Cathedral ... Love! Traditional mass was going on while we visited inside. Pipe organ sounded amazing.

Jelly bean soldier at FAO Schwartz

Apple Store ... Beau's heaven on earth.

Grand Central Station

Times Square

Kylie's ridiculous picture with busted-up cardboard Justin Bieber ... I just don't get it.

Carlos' Bakery, Hoboken, NJ

New York City in Two Posts - #1

I could post for an entire week on our four days in NYC. The food alone could take a week.

But, I don't want to rub it in your face.

That would just be wrong.

Honestly, NYC at any time, in any weather, with anyone is amazing. Period. No question about it.

I don't understand anyone who could visit NYC and not like it.

So much history. So much culture. So much to do. So much variety, from the people to the food. 

I love that.

I get that some people wouldn't want to live there. It's busy. It's loud. And, it would be very hard to feel like you had your own personal space and privacy.

But, I love it.

My kids did too.

But, the trip was also one more confirmation of how spoiled my kids really are. You'd swear we were torturing them by making them walk. Yes, we did take the subway. It's not like they had to walk all the time. I was honestly longing for the days of strollers and baby backpacks. The days where they would just ride and not talk, much less complain.

They also have this idea that they must have something at every store. For real. By the last day, I had threatened them within an inch of their lives if they asked me to buy them one more thing.

Aside from that typical kid stuff, the trip was great.

We had one rainy day. It poured, but we went out anyway. By the end of the night, we were soaked. And, only one of our $4 umbrellas remained intact. It was quite an experience.

Oh, and let's not forget it was cold. The girls complained about that too. But, for the most part, our days were beautiful and chilly.

Prepare yourself for the onslaught of pictures.

After our plane arrived, we headed to one of my favorite NYC restaurants, Sarabeth's.

My lemon-ricotta pancakes with warm maple cream ... melt-in-your-mouth good!

Both K Belle's & Beau's sandwiches were also incredible.

We then headed to The Natural History Museum and for a walk in Central Park.

Let the complaining begin. Look at the difference in expressions.

We did more walking in Times Square that night and ate at the Ellen's Stardust Diner, complete with the singing waitstaff.

The girls were thrilled.

Take a look.

We split their famous cookies n' cream milkshake. Not worth the cost, but good.

The next day we headed to Chinatown and Little Italy. We spent the rest of the day dodging the rain and visiting more key spots like NYC Library, Empire State Building, and Ground Zero. We ended the day with another stop at Times Square where we ate at Ruby Foo's and the girls rode the giant ferris wheel at Toys 'R Us.

I love this picture. It was pretty K Belle's and my view the entire trip (minus the umbrellas).

Back to Ferrara, a place we stopped by last time in Little Italy to have cappuccino and tiramisu. This time it was gelato and a lobster tail.

Ruby Foo's Chinese Restaurant ... another great choice!

Yes, they did get in the My Little Pony car at the ages of 10 and 13.

But, the third day was my absolute favorite because of two things: Eating at Serendipity and seeing "Mary Poppins." 

We also went to Rockefeller Center and walked Fifth Avenue, which had to include a visit to FAO Schwartz and The Apple Store.

FAO Schwartz

Serendipity ... loved all our food and the frozen hot chocolate was definitely worth the wait. Actually, we only waited 20 minutes, although the host said it would be 45 minutes to an hour before we'd be seated. I'll discuss why Beau thought we got a table sooner than we did in another post. Too lengthy to discuss here.

The girls were overwhelmed by their hot dogs. When they said "foot-long," they weren't lyin',

My sandwich was so good.

But the frozen hot chocolate was the pièce de résistance. Actually, all the desserts I saw brought out looked divine.

Take a closer look. Yum.

And, one of the founders of the restaurant was there and signed his cookbook for me. Guess what? The frozen hot chocolate recipe is in there. I'll let you know how that turns out.

After Serendipity, we headed to Grand Central Station. Can you believe we ate again? Hey ... you need energy for all that walking. Just a snack while waiting for the late show of "Mary Poppins." It's OK. Don't judge. It was tiny.

All from Magnolia Bakery ... red velvet & hummingbird cupcake. Super moist & delicious.

Giant magic cookie bar.

"Mary Poppins" was awesome! It was one of the few times my behind automatically jumped up out of my seat naturally to give a standing ovation. Incredible. If you're ever in NYC, go see it. It's especially great for kids.

We all loved it.

And, last, but not least, on the last day we went on over to Hoboken to get cannolis at Carlos' Bakery. We waited an hour, but it was inside. After we had gotten there, a line started forming outside.

The cannolis ... So delicious! I also bought some cookies which were also quite good.

Waiting.

(Super blurry iPod picture, but had to show you those cannolis.)

It was a fantastic trip.

But alas, my days of frolicking about NYC are over. Now we're knee-deep in this kitchen remodel.

I'll have more pics tomorrow and tell you about our incident with the German.