The Mayonnaise Jar

The field trip to Angola was extremely enlightening.

We saw many things that I never thought I would see ... the first electric chairs used, the lethal injection table, the first prison cells ever there made of only concrete, numerous prisoners, the coffins they build for all the prisoners that die there, even entered their dorm rooms while they were in there, and ate in their cafeteria.

My eyes were opened to prison life. 

I wouldn't wish that life on anyone.

There are so many things I could tell you about the trip, but the one thing that affected me the most was something that was said at the start of our tour.

We entered the main prison and were led to a small trial room by our guide. She introduced us to a prisoner, who would talk to us for a while and answer questions.

His name was Kerry Myers. He was in his 21st year of a life sentence.

He was a trustee, meaning he had never broken any rules since in prison and was considered trustworthy with special privileges.

Mr. Myers was extremely well-spoken and articulate. I even thought, at times, he spoke a little above a thirteen-year-old's vocabulary and comprehension level. He was obviously quite intelligent. Turns out, he was also the editor of The Angolite, a magazine produced and published at Angola. Yes ... award-winning magazine for journalism. Who knew? Mostly filled with criminal justice and law stuff, along with the happenings going on in Angola (and there's a lot going on with 5200 prisoners ... 90 per dorm ... double-bunked thanks to budget cuts ... $25000 to care for one prisoner per year ... Grrr. Whole other post here.)

Mr. Myers explained that people often look at Angola (where 80% of the prisoners have life sentences and are in for murder, rape, or armed robbery) like a mayonnaise jar.

Every drop is the same. Everything that's in a mayonnaise jar is mayonnaise.

But, in Angola or any prison, it's not like that at all. People just lump every prisoner in the same group ... bad criminals who commit horrible crimes. But, each person has their own story and one bad decision determined their destiny.

We all make bad decisions. Some of us may have even committed crimes, but didn't get caught.

They did.

One bad decision could cost you your life.

Mr. Myers went on to explain that some of the men in prison for life were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and their actions caused someone's death, even accidental in cases. But Louisiana law is strict, ya'll. Only Pennsylvania and Louisiana have the life sentence which means life is life ... no parole. Hence the reason we have the most incarcerated individuals ... remember .... $25000 per prisoner ... that's what we pay per year.

Now, there are those that definitely live up to the stereotype of who we think a prisoner is. About 20% of the prisoners contribute to the prison's discipline problems. It's kind of like when you were in school, it was always the same kids getting into trouble all the time. It's pretty much like that. Most who are there are on good behavior on a regular basis.

My stereotypical view of prisoners has definitely changed.

I became a little more compassionate. And, I felt extremely sad for those on death row. To be alone all day, every day, until you die must be unbearable.

I got teary when one of the prisoners, who was the radio station disc jockey who played only gospel music, asked for us to pray for him. He said that God could work miracles. All these guys have to hang onto is hope.

Back to Mr. Myers ... When I got back on the bus to head home, I googled him to find out what he did to end up at Angola.

I would have never guessed that he bludgeoned his wife to death with a baseball bat, even injuring his son in the process.

The saying really is true: "You can't judge a book by its cover." I would have never thought from the way he spoke and presented himself that he would have done something like that. Perfect example of my own stereotype.

Even the most well-dressed, intelligent individual could be a murderer; just as, the poorest, most unintelligent person could have a heart of gold and give you the shirt off his back.

Mr. Myers said we should look at Angola like a can of mixed nuts instead of the mayonnaise jar. I think that's pretty true about the world in general. We are all so alike, yet so different.

I never thought I would have to try so hard at throwing a prison outfit together.

Today's the day K Belle and I head to the prison.

Not just any prison ... Angola.

Apparently it's educational.

It's not your typical jail. It's the Louisiana State Penitentiary. It's not for the lowly check-frauders and traffic violators. This is where the big-time criminals go. I'm talking high-security. It's actually the largest maximum security prison in the United States ... about 5000 inmates or so.

When K Belle first told me her 8th grade class was going, I assumed it was to show what could happen when a person makes poor choices. I'm envisioning an episode of "Beyond Scared Straight" here.

She explained that it was a historical field trip. The prison has been around for a very long time.

I, of course, told K Belle I would accompany her to protect her from any danger. She gave me her typical sneer and began her smack-talk about how she's taller than me. (which she IS NOT)

We were given specific instructions of what we could and could not wear. There was the typical items that no mom or dad with any common sense would wear  like mini-skirts, midriff tops, short shorts, hip-huggers (which I didn't know people could even buy), etc.

But, then there was NO JEANS.

What?!

My wardrobe pretty much consists of jeans, jeans, some dresses, jeans, jeans, three leggings, and jeans.

K Belle's suggestion was for me to wear sweatpants. 

Um. No.

I realized I had black pants only. I actually had to spend time and effort on a coordinating outfit to visit a prison. Yes. A. Prison.

I am actually looking forward to this field trip, overdressed and all.

K Belle's excited to visit the gift shop and spend some money.

Yes ... a gift shop.

I'll be sure to pick up my "I've been to Angola and all I got was this t-shirt" t-shirt.

There's always one finger pointing back at you.

We've been having some behavior issues with La Petite Belle.

Shocking, I know.

In the words of her K-3 teacher, the lovely Mrs. Avery, "Whatever La Petite Belle (but used her real name of course) does, she does at 100 percent. We just have to make sure what she does is for the Lord."

So true.

This girl always wants to be first ... the fastest ... the best ... at EVERYTHING from eating cereal to giving the longest hug.

Imagine our distress in this current battle waging against her wanting to be the best at bad attitudes, arguing, and disobedience.

It truly is a battle.

As she and I were having one or our weekly heart-to-hearts about these issues that have been arising, I expressed my concern about the condition of her heart.

She confessed she knew the difference between right and wrong. Whew! Thank God. That's one thing in our favor.

I seem to always have to put a different spin on the same old principle or idea: 

1. Foolish choices = sad consequences; Wise choices = blessings. 

2. When we know something is wrong and we do it anyway, we are in sin.  

3. God gives children one real command to obey their parents.

4. When we choose to disobey our parents (or teachers or other authority given by our parents), we are choosing to disobey God.

5. There's a difference between loving Jesus and living for Jesus.

Yada, yada, yada ... I could go on with more, but I'll spare you my teacher language.

Basically ... Same principles ... OVER and OVER and OVER again.

In our conversation, I told her when she chooses to not listen to the Holy Spirit when He's prompting her, she's essentially saying, "SHUT UP, JESUS!"

Oh my! She began to wail ... "I do not tell Jesus to shut up! I would never tell Jesus to shut up!" More and more tears came.

I said, "Well, that's what you're doing. You're telling Jesus to shut up when you refuse to listen to what He's telling you to do and choosing to do what you want to do instead."

Whoa! That hit me like a ton of bricks.

Hello, kettle!

Oh, how God uses these parental moments to speak to us.

I heard the Lord say to me, "That's exactly what you do." I think He may have even called me a hypocrite.

When I choose to ignore His voice, I'm telling my Lord to shut up. Not just when He's urging me to do the right thing, the holy thing, the compassionate thing, the forgiving thing ... but, when He's urging me to do something for Him in the way of ministry or relationships.

I want to say, "Here I am, Lord. Your servant is listening."

But, it just doesn't always end up like that.

Oh, how I want it to.

(On a side-note: I really wanted to title this post "Shut up, Jesus," but were concerned you would be offended. See? Censorship in action.)

The Day I Cried With a Technical Support Representative

Yes, it happened.

I really tried to compose myself, but the tears just streamed, despite my every effort to hold it together.

On Friday morning, my blog didn't exist.

There was nothing. Nada.

You see ... I did this whole transfer-registrars thing. Bad idea. Really bad.

I had a friend, Steve, who kind of took care of it for me. He'd pay my $8.00 a year and I'd buy him Starbuck's. It was a good deal. But, there were times I didn't want to pester him with my technical issues. He is a busy man and shouldn't be bothered with my little blog.

So, I decided to just move to GoDaddy and try to handle things on my own like a big girl.

Like I said ... bad idea.

I don't understand any of the technical terms when talking with the people online. They throw words out there like "hosting" and "IP address." I feel sorry for the rep that picks up my call.

There were many issues to why my blog was gone. All of which I wouldn't even begin to try to explain to you. Suffice it to say, I was back and forth on the phone with GoDaddy and Steve from 7:30 a.m. until 9:30 a.m.

I was really fine and thought this issue would get fixed until the fourth or fifth GoDaddy rep told me that I may have to start from scratch and build my own blog again ... that I may have lost everything I  had written.

Three years of my life ... gone.

At that moment, I realized how important this place is to me. And, the fact that I may have lost everything I had written concerning my children and my family overwhelmed me .... Christmas and other holiday celebrations gone .... Birthdays gone ... Things my children said and did gone ... Vacations gone ... Things I wrote about God gone. I could go on and on.

Then, came the waterworks.

That poor tech. I had to cut the conversation short.

At that moment, I prayed. Yep. Prayed ... over a blog.

Afterwards, I called Steve again. After he had logged onto all my accounts and we looked through the settings of the blog together, he said, "Girl, what did you do?" I panicked a little. He had to go through some things on his own and call me back.

I prayed some more.

He called. Within a few minutes it was back up. He worked some kind of magic and made it work. I had to literally write down what he said that he had done in case I needed it later on. Told you. I know nothing about this stuff.

This happening has pushed me to make hard copies of all my meaningful and memorable posts.

Completing this task will be a doozy. So, it starts. Going through the last three years of my life will take some time, but it is definitely happening.

I was pleasantly surprised.

I had my doubts. 

Real. Big. Doubts.

How could anyone replace Simon Cowell?

Not possible.

Kara and Paula were definitely easier to see go.

But, not Simon. 

However, I quite enjoyed American Idol last night.

I actually really liked both Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler.

I found they both offered constructive criticism and were a lot kinder than the others. Of course, I know this is new to them and, with time, the meaner they will get.

They were also extremely coherent, which was surprising. Obviously, my expectations were low of what they could bring to the table. 

Now, I am excited about the season.

Yay, Idol! Good job!

Honestly, it really does just come down to the voice (most of the time), not the judges.

What'd you think, Idol watchers?

My favorite vocalists of the night: 

Melinda, the girl whose parents were war refugees from Kosovo

Her voice was like buttah, except sweeter.

Devyn, the singing waitress in Times Square. Wow!

And, loved, loved, loved Travis from the Bronx.

Really great talent last night.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

I'll be able to conduct my own interventions by the end of the year. I'm sure of it.

The show simply amazes me. There are some hurting people in this world.

In the words of Steve Green, "People need the Lord." If you weren't convinced of this before, just watch the show.

Beau was upset because my show kicked out the recording of his precious O'Reilly, which comes on again at 10:00, mind you. Imagine how much horrible for me this would have been if it had been 13 episodes of that. Eesh. There's only so much one person can handle.

Ordinary

If you've read here long enough, you know Beau and I each work at a church.

What a wonderful opportunity to be able to be used by God to reach others with the Gospel every day with what talents God's put in our hands. I never thought I would be doing what I am doing. Now, let's not fool ourselves and think that working at a church is perfect. It's not. But, it can definitely be rewarding. I'm so thankful that God is using us in such a way.

Because we work at a church, we tend to be there all the time, including most services. That's pretty much the way it goes at every church.

I always had concerns about this for my children, having to be there a lot. I never want their hearts to grow cold and hard towards God. We have to check ourselves constantly to make sure that they are not being neglected in any way, which all parents with any job have to do regularly.

I continuously pray that their hearts will remain tender to the things of God and their relationship with Him won't become mundane or just something they do because of us. 

I pray for hunger and passion and zeal.

This past weekend I asked La Petite Belle how her church service was. She said, "Ordinary."

I said, "Ordinary?"

She said, "Yeah, not extraordinary."

At that moment, I realized a few things.

First, my kids are spoiled.

Our church has an awesome children's ministry, with games, puppets, and lots of other fun stuff. The kids of our church love going to service and visitors are astounded at how much fun it is on their first visit. All fun while planting the Word of God inside them. Awesome, huh?

There are children all over the world that don't get the chance to learn about God in such a way; some don't even have the freedom to do so. Yet, some of these children hunger for God more than my own kids.

So, her statement kind of irritated me in that sense.

Secondly, her saying that was almost like God issuing a challenge to me personally. Ordinary? He has not called any of us to be ordinary.

Ordinary - non-interesting; commonplace; with no special or distinctive features

We are so not to be like that ... just the norm ... not standing out. Remember ... we're supposed to be "set apart"? I recall the Bible saying that.

I don't want to be ordinary. I don't want anything I do to be ordinary. I don't want my children to be ordinary. None of us should be content with being ordinary.

That's the scary part.

It's way easier to be ordinary than extraordinary.

Extraordinary - remarkable; exceptional; unusually great; phenomenal

But, we're already there. We have that in us. God created us that way. We are created in His image and I don't know anyone else who could best define the term "extraordinary." Not only who He is, but everything He's done for us has, is, and will be extraordinary.

And, because my English teacher always said you have to have three reasons or points to anything you write, La Petite Belle saying that made me realize that our kids' expectations are ridiculous these days.

 Impressing kids ... that's tough stuff. She could have come back from jumping on trampolines made of cotton candy, while playing laser tag, while watching "The Chronicles of Narnia" in 3D and I still think after the third weekend, she'd say ... "Eh ... it was ordinary."

So ... there's this guy.

He takes some amazing pictures. A. MAZE. ING.

Look at what he did.

That's me.

Super cool, huh?

He's quite talented, yet thinks he's just OK. Whatever.

Here's a couple of my favorites of his.

And, ladies ... if you are over 22 and under 30, he's single. Only intelligent, beautiful, Christian girls may apply. You can email me if interested. (He's going to kill me, but it's his birthday today and a potential girlfriend would be a  great gift.)

His name ... Chris Deville. 

More pics on his web page. Or click his little button on the right sidebar there.

There are a lot of good photographers out there. There really are. I'm just blessed to call a few of them my friends. Remember the equally amazing Ana?

Yeah, this is her. Simply stunning. Chris took this of her. She's beautiful so it was an easy shoot.

She made me look like a supermodel ... (ahem) ... of a certain age ... with two kids ... and quite average-looking. But, she did awesome for what she had to work with.

I mean ... look at these. 

And ... my favorite!

 And ... she's single too. So let's say handsome, smart, Christian men may only apply. (Sorry, Ana ... not many of those read my blog, but I did try.)

I know what you're gonna say, but they're just friends. At least I think so.

If you're local and need some photos done, you can contact them through their sites.

Beans, beans ...

You know the rest.

That's what my diet has consisted of the last two days.

I'm reading the new book by Tim Ferris, "The 4-Hour Body."

(Reader warning: I do not endorse or approve everything in this book and there are some pretty graphic pictures. So, please don't buy it thinking I'm recommending it.)

I mainly purchased this for the one chapter entitled "Lose 20 lbs. in 30 days." Um ... OK. That sold me, even though there are questionable parts to the book.

It's basically a low-carb diet with a twist.

On the diet: Meat, vegetables, beans ... and when I say "beans," I mean beans at EVERY meal.

Let's just face it ... this can be a scary thing.

Beau and I are each on it, so doubly scary.

I've taken precautionary measures and bought a 100-count bottle of Beano, which I'll need to now carry around in my purse since I've discovered you have to eat it before any food you might eat that would cause gas. Nice addition next to the lip gloss.

We were supposed to weigh ourselves the first day, but to our dismay, our scale was a little off, as in measuring my weight at 91 lbs. Not even close. 

Beau brought a new scale home last night and I weighed myself, regardless of the fact you should never weigh yourself after you've eaten dinner and fully-clothed. Get this? I was almost five lbs. lighter than the last time I had weighed myself months ago.

Mind you, this is in the evening. I can't wait until morning to try again.

Did I lose that much in two days?

That would be crazy.

But, wait, here's the BEST part of the 30-day diet. You get one cheat/binge day a week. One whole day to eat whatever you want, as much as you want. Yes, it's true.

I am already planning things I will eat on Saturday or Sunday (hadn't decided on the exact cheat day yet). King cake and extra bread will be consumed.

I'll keep you updated on this process.

Talk about "taming the tongue"

It's ironic that our pastor spoke on this very topic this past weekend and that we had to deal with a tongue situation at home.

You know the verses on taming the tongue, right? Here's a snippet taken from James 3.

My favorite verses 7-10 from The Message:

 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue—it's never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!

This really is scary ... especially when you think about everything that pours out of your mouth every day ... blessings and curses.

Well ... La Petite Belle has been having some challenges related to her speech, especially when it comes to her sister. She can shoot fire out of her mouth for sure.

Beau and I have been having to discipline this sweet little angel quite a bit.

Pray for me. It's been a struggle and sometimes I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when La Petite Belle called K Belle an "idiot" for  the third or fourth time this week, after having been corrected three or four times. I even made her write lines, saying "I will be kind to my sister." 

Well, last night, we pulled out the big guns and resorted to the whole washing-her-mouth-out-with-soap punishment. And, not just any soap ... Bath and Body Works Island Nectar hand soap. Only the good stuff for our children.

I think it may have worked because gagging and freaking out ensued, along with the dramatic crying.

The threat to repeat this procedure each time mean, ugly, hurtful words came out was given.

Let's hope she gets it.

Beau offered to wash mine out too because I declined to get out of his "spot" on the couch by saying, "I don't see your name on it."

Really, honestly, we could use a good mouth-washing every once in a while. 

Or every day.

Mean Girls

What is it with girls?

They can be so mean and make you feel like you're worth nothing.

I think every woman has experienced this at some time in her life, either in middle or high school.

Mean girls make themselves feel superior by making other girls feel inferior.

It's such a shame.

I'm starting to see this type of activity in my own girls' lives and I hate it for them.

I see that they've become more defensive in the past couple of years, especially K Belle. The older they get, the worse it gets.

As a mama, I just want to walk on over to some of those girls and give them a piece of my mind. But, of course, I don't. Because it's not my battle to fight. This is their time to stand up for what's right and my time to pray that they do. And, no, they don't always.

Girls hurting other girls is not cool.

There have been tears in my house lately ... real tears and real hurt. You know the kind where your heart breaks for your children. Uck ... hate it.

I long for the day when girls lift each other up and have one another's backs ... when girls truly act like sisters that always defend and protect one another ... especially in the middle and high school years. Girls are going through enough at that time anyway. To have to worry about friendships and bullying is just too much.

My advice to them is always to dump those girls ... kick 'em to the curb. "You don't need them in your life. You can be kind and not be someone's friend. It's possible."

To me, it sounds simple. But, to my girls, that seems ridiculous. How could they ever do such a thing?

Loved this step-by-step video of how to neutralize mean girls. And the fact that the mean girl looks like a monster.

How To Neutralize Mean Girls on Howcast

I continue to pray that they would be strong, independent women of God, always standing up for righteousness and truth. I pray that they will not be followers or allow anyone to make them feel less than who God has created them to be.

Maybe boys are easier.

Poor Reuben

Reuben is not only one of the most delectable sandwiches ever created (Thank you, Mr. Reuben, creator of the reuben sandwich! I am forever indebted to you.), but also the full name of a man who obviously had too much time on his hands and lots of creativity ... Rube Goldberg.

I don't understand why anyone would want to shorten Reuben to Rube, but to each his own, I guess. Seems like a nickname fail to me.

So why am I even mentioning this guy?

First you have to understand what he did.

Yes. He basically created the idea and invented complicated machines to perform easy tasks, such as turning on a lightbulb, feeding a dog, etc.

K Belle had to create such a project.

She and her daddy worked diligently on this machine, especially over Christmas vacation. I'd say the whole process took a total of about 20 hours. Yeah, it was a difficult assignment.

When it was all said and done, this is what was created: The Cherry Coke-inator

Water was used for the practice runs, but it mixes cherry juice and ice with Coke in the end there.

All that work and it's over in about 20 seconds.

La Petite Belle asked if we could keep the machine after K Belle was done with it. I asked why. She said, "Just in case we want a Cherry Coke." To which I replied, "If we want a Cherry Coke, I'll pop open a Cherry Coke can."

Resolute

I have posted before about how much I hate New Year's resolutions. I still do.

I feel like it's just another way of setting myself up for failure. And, let's face it, I don't need any help with that.

But, I do wish to be more resolute - Admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.

In everything I do.

There are so many things in my life that don't get all of my attention because there are so many things.

I want to be resolute with each and every one of them. 

There's no need for me to add new things to my list. I just need to be resolute with the things I already have.

I want to be resolute in my marriage ... moving forward to an even deeper relationship with my Beau. It's been 16 years, you know. This seems to be everyone's tricky part, but I will be resolute.

I want to be resolute as a parent ... never giving up on my children, never backing down, standing firm in what I know God commands me to do, and loving them even harder, if that's possible.

I want to be resolute as a friend ... not reverting back to being a loner and not allowing my friends to do the same, to be available to each of them even more, and to cultivate new friendships. This takes effort, people. But, so worth it.

I want to be resolute for myself ... to just not be so darn hard on me all the time, to appreciate and celebrate who I am more and not try to be someone else.

I want to be resolute in my relationship with Christ ... to quit allowing life to separate me from Him, to know Him more, and to continue to work toward truly fulfilling His call on my life.

There.

Being resolute is hard for this weak, fleshly girl. It's a good thing that in my weakness, He is strong. That pretty much makes Him amazing.

"'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. ... For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10