Monday, April 4, 2011

The Reason I Sing

I've always loved to sing. Even as a child, my mom said I would sing ALL the time.

I liked singing as a child. But, I only liked it when I sang alone. Never in front of anyone.

I can remember the feeling I got as a child when I sang my first solo "O Come Little Children" ... pure terror. Dry mouth, throat closing up, heart palpitations, sweaty palms, and shaking ... not fun.

As a teenager, I sang in chorus and was given many opportunities to sing solos, but always had an urge to vomit beforehand. Fear can really get the best of you.

Even when I reached adulthood, I would get extremely sick to my stomach. No matter how much I sang, it was still there.

If I knew I had to sing a solo, I would not eat all day to avoid any possible stomach discomfort. It was bad, ya'll.

Then, the desire to sing really just went away. I was busy with other things at the time anyway. I was finishing up college and was a new mom.

I stopped singing for about four years.

I was brought back to the place I was as a child, singing alone and in the church congregation only. I was content with that. It was comfortable.

I started singing again once we'd moved back home and were attending our home church.

Because I hadn't really sung for so many years, I felt inadequate and those feelings of insecurity and vomiting returned, especially when I had to sing a solo. Sick for the entire weekend over it.

Time passed. I kept pushing through my fear and it did get a little easier, but I'd still get sick. To be honest, I still get a few butterflies beforehand, but I just do it anyway.

However, the one time I feel no fear ... and I mean NO FEAR ... no nervousness, no sickness, is when I'm singing worship songs. Even if I'm the only one singing the songs, there are no nerves to bother me.
I feel comfortable. I feel safe. I feel happy.

It's what I love to do.

I really do love to sing to the Lord. No matter what's going on in my life, that's the one time I can set everything aside and just focus on Him.
He is the reason I sing.

Psalm 63:7 - Because You are my help, I will sing in the shadow of Your wings. 

I got to lead this awesome song this weekend. I thought about what our united voices in praise must sound like to God. I love the lines of this song that say, "This is the sound of the redeemed rising up to praise the King ..." and "We the redeemed, hear us singing ... " Our desire should be to get the Lord's attention with our praise. Hear us singing, Lord.

5 Comments:

Rachelle said...

Such a great song!

sara said...

love this song!

Dana Dawn Calverette said...

You have a beautiful voice! It is such a blessing to hear you sing... and to sing (in the congregation, where it's comfortable,) praising my God!

Amy Bennett said...

Thanks for posting, I've been listening on repeat.

Jeff Ables said...

I'm so thankful to have you on our worship team and as one of our featured vocalists. You've been using your gift to help me lead people in worship and lead people to Christ for over 20 years! I'm so glad you're part of the team. Loved "We The Redeemed" this weekend. Thanks so much for being you! - Jeff