Thursday, October 14, 2010

My point exactly.

In talking about men's insecurities and the differences between men and women, Beth posed two questions in her book to men.

I, of course, thought it would be an awesome idea to pose the same questions to Beau and to get his thoughts on things.

Take a look at our text conversation last night.





When he got home, we had the real conversation and he surprised me with his answers, which I won't share with you, because that may be off limits in his mind. I mean, if I want to tell y'all about my junk and the craziness that goes on in my head, that's one thing. But, his junk he'd rather keep to himself.

Let's just say, he's not the typical male and doesn't always fit the stereotype. But, we already knew that. He's quite magnificent.

But, enough of that.

Pose those same questions to your husbands tonight and watch their reactions. They think we're crazy and that we think way too much and too deeply. I promise. It may be quite difficult for them to emote or explain their answers because it's probably something they've never thought of before. See what happens. Maybe he'll shed a tear. Or maybe just roll his eyes. Nonetheless, you'll gain some insight.

But, the number one answer from men about what their biggest insecurity is ... well, there were really two:
1. You guessed it ... Fear of failure (especially in the provision area)
2. Failure to prove himself a man (totally don't get that one)

Then, I read this: (talking about men)
"The ultimate judgement is often left up to one individual's scrutiny: their own father. And, God help them both if the father didn't prove his own manhood to his son. His word can become their lifelong bond whether it was affirming or searing. If every person on the planet acknowledges that a man is a man, but his own father doesn't, the fight to earn his stripes is twice as bloody."

Wow.

Talk about pressure!

And, it seems to be cyclical ... one father insecure, trying to prove his manhood, not affirming his own son, leaving the son to continue the cycle of trying to prove his manhood, while not affirming his son again ... and the cycle continues.

So, much boils down to the fathers, doesn't it? Not only for men, but for women too.

As women, we don't ever question our womanhood. It's not an issue.

I just thought it extremely interesting that most men struggle with the same thing, whereas women have 10-20 things they struggle with in the security realm, which are constantly changing.

More proof of the complexity of women.

I think I may try to simplify my thinking. Take just one of my insecurities and only dwell on that one and forget the rest until I get the one under control. Think that'll work?

Probably not. Heck, it doesn't even make any sense.

I'm done.


1 Comment:

H-Mama said...

Simplifying insecurities. Sounds like a great plan. ;) Great posts. Hubs told me years ago that women are simple... Simply complicated. Ha!