Thursday, September 30, 2010

I've come to an understanding with myself.

I don't know about you, but I have conversations with myself pretty much daily ... no, make that hourly.

I think this is quite normal. And, I think the older you get, the more conversations you have because, when you're young, let's face it, you really don't know as much as you think you know.

God's been dealing with me on a lot of issues the past few years.

One of the issues I have struggled with is just simply loving myself. Loving who I am. Embracing what God has created me to be.

No, I'm not like this person, or that person. I can't do this or that. But, that's OK. It's simply because God never intended for me to be anyone else than who I am. So, I'm just gonna go with it.

Embracing that idea can be hard because I always seem to have other thoughts of what I should be.

So, as this dreaded birthday approaches tomorrow ... you know the one ... the one that makes you feel old, I embrace who I am.

It may not be good enough for some people around me, but darnit, I'm becoming quite content.

I feel more confident in my ability to tell off that idiot voice that I have going off in my head, always trying to put me down. To that voice inside my head: "Just shut up. I've had enough of you and I'm done."

Now this post is just starting to sound a little loony.

Going back to the way I feel about myself on the day before the day of my birth ... I feel good.

My goals this year:
1. I'm going to give myself way more credit than I usually do and stop being so hard on myself.

2. I will not allow outside factors and people affect the way I think about myself.

3. I will be content with who I am and finally reach that understanding that this 'ol body is probably about as good as it's gonna get. (I won't stop working at getting more fit, but let's be realistic here.)

4. Take the stuff God's been teaching me and pour that into my girls, allowing God to mold them into strong, confident women. I have so much more to say & do with them and so little time.

5. I will discover more of who Beau is, even after almost 16 years of marriage. And, hopefully I can become a little more interesting for him. (I'll have to work on that one.)

6. I will live life more.

7. I will be grateful for how blessed I really am.

Seven ... that's a good number. Let's stop there.

Now, let the birthday festivities begin ... tomorrow.

And, yes, I will eat cake & ice cream, just like the good 'ol days.
(Me in, as it states on the side of the picture, 1972)


TAMS said...

Happy Birthday to you Maam!! You are a blessing to many!

Rach@In His Hands said...

I'm stealing {a lot} of your list for myself. :-) Good stuff.
Happy Almost Birthday!

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

Happy Birthday Beautiful Lady! And do me a favor, eat that cake and wear it on your face for awhile JUST like that sweet baby belle :)

Alli said...

Happy Birthday girlie - I have a wish - to meet you someday :-) in the flesh!

Kristy said...

You go, girl! Happy Birthday!

The Hat Chick said...

Happy Happy Birthday! Celebrate where you've been, where you are now and what greatness there is to come! You deserve it!