Wednesday, August 4, 2010

He's a good dad.

And, because he's such a good writer, I'm handing this post over to Beau.

He was there and he definitely has opinions, which pretty much makes him the perfect candidate for blogging (as I've mentioned in the past ... To which, he always says, "Pfft.") I think the only qualifications for being a blogger are the ability to type and think. Really anything goes.

Without further ado ... my Beau on "The Covenant/Purity Ring" ...

We had prepped K Belle about what our rules will be with respect to dating and relationships. I informed her that there will be NO dating until she is out on her own. She would be allowed to go out with FRIENDS, but there will be no "pairing off" with members of the opposite gender. I also told her that if she was wise, she would put off dating until her senior year in college.

K Belle has been encouraged to consider not even kissing a boy/man until her wedding day. I've told her on a few occasions that all of this dating and physical contact just adds baggage to your relationship with the person you'll actually spend the rest of your life with. I've even gone as far to tell her that I'm actually sorry for ever dating any girl/woman other than her mother.

Three weeks ago, she went to her first youth service, where she found out that purity/covenant rings are all the rage. She informed us that a friend was advocating them to her, to which Mama Belle replied, "What, is he selling them or something?"


Anyway, she wasn't with us on her actual birthday, so I took her out on a date the next night. I got dressed up; she wore jeans. When I opened the car door for her, she returned the favor with a rather coy look. We held hands the entire time in the car, on the way to and from the restaurant.

We went to a really nice little place in our city's premier residential neighborhood. We shared a great meal together (easily in the top five steaks I've ever had), and we talked and talked. Our waitress made it a point to leave us alone (she nodded and winked at me when she said she would), which gave us even more time together.

We were in the restaurant for almost 90 minutes. I originally wanted to give her "the present" at the restaurant, but it was kind of loud in there, so I waited. As we were leaving, I had her put her leftovers in the trunk of my car, and I grabbed her hand, and walked her over to a gazebo across the street.

As we sat there, we talked some more, and then I made my move. I initiated yet another purity ring conversation, just to make sure she would really want one. I told her that I didn't want her to have one just because it was cool. Also, I told her that there would come a time that the very people who were encouraging her to get one would possibly encourage her to live a lifestyle contrary to what the purity ring stands for.

Then I went for the main point I was trying to make. I said, "And when that happens, remind yourself of this: At any point you can become like them, but they will NEVER be able to be like you again." I hope those words sank in.

After a couple more words, I got it out.

Her response was priceless. Immediately, she began saying over and over how much she loved the ring. One thing that I noticed about the ring when I bought it was the little hearts on the sides of the diamond cluster at the top. That was the first feature she mentioned.

I placed it on her finger and prayed with her. As I prayed, I started choking up. I could hear her whispering, "Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry." I'm not sure if she was talking to me or herself.

We hugged and talked a little more, then made our way back to my car. Most of the heartwarming sweetness was broken when I discovered that my car's alarm is activated when you try to unlock the passenger's side door first (it's still pretty new to me, and I didn't know that). As the horn sounded SEVERAL times while I tried to figure out what to do (the car was parked right in front of the restaurant, by the way), I could tell she was really embarrassed.

I guess that makes me a dad of a teenager.


Colored With Memories said...

lovely, lovely, lovely!

even right down to the last embarrassing moment!


Amy@My Front Porch said...

As the mama of a little girl...this made me choke up myself! What a sweet, sweet, memory Beau just made -- I'm totally sharing this with my hubby!

BaronessBlack said...

What a lovely story!
Love the car alarm!

I was reading an article recently which showed statistically significant evidence that the involvement of fathers in their daughters' lives produced a marked delay in their first sexual experience. Which is kind of obvious when you think about it!

{Jodie} said...

Oh my gosh, I loved this through, soup to nuts!
What a sweet, sweet time for them, and also, that last line was the clencher. I guess we can all only hope to preserve so much coolness when we have teenagers. He does still have that cool car though. There's something to be said about that. :)

Jeff Ables said...

Very proud of both of you! I wish more dads would reach out to their daughters in this way! I wish more teenagers would pledge their purity to God. Thank you for being a wonderful example to our church and community of how Godly family works. We love the Gaspards!

Teresa Dawn said...

Great job in teaching her... Continue to pray with her and I'm sure she'll make the right choices :)

Jeanette said...

LOVE THIS! Keep it up guys!!

We have had these same conversations with our girls. We have offered them a downpayment on a house to not kiss before their wedding day....our oldest is dating and so far is saving her first kiss!

H-Mama said...

Too sweet!!

jennifer said...

OK so I may have cried when I read this. I wish that my father had cared enough to do that for me.

Beau is indeed a good Dad.

Wendi@Every Day Miracles said...


Blog posts don't often actually make me laugh out loud and cry out loud - this one had me super close to both, almost at the same time.

Your girls are so very, very fortunate!

Dave and I both saved our first kiss for our wedding day. -No regrets!

Katie@The Baby Factory said...

That is awesome :) As a mom of boys, I appreciate good parents of daughters.

I heard a quote the other day in regards to teenage dating:
"Teenage dating is comparable to shopping with no money--either you'll leave frustrated, or you'll take something that doesn't belong to you."
Too true.