Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Well, that explains it.

My new BFF and I talked lots about women this weekend ... issues women face, why women are the way they are, things that make us angry about women, etc.

In the midst of our conversations, I gained a bit of knowledge about how those supermodels/movie & TV stars/rock stars/anyone with money in L.A. lose all their baby fat so quickly.

And, I thought you would be delighted for me to pass it on to you.

Trust me. You will be happy I shared this bit of info with you. Feel free to pass it on to your friends. It will make us all feel a little better about ourselves.

So, how does one go from ginormous to petite so quickly weeks after those babies?

Heidi Klum - six weeks after her last baby. She then walked the runway eight weeks later.

Gisele just weeks after her baby. Look at her tummy in that second picture. Really? That tummy's tighter than my tummy was at six years old.

Now, I'm not saying these particular models have done this, but ...

the trend in Hollywood is called a C-Tuck. (Look it up.)

Let me explain, and as I explain, know that had I known that this was a possibility and if I had had an endless supply of money at that time, I may have considered doing this myself. Dang, those regular twenty-two hour labors!

I should have done the C-Tuck ... a procedure that is scheduled in the eighth month of pregnancy because, as we all know, in the ninth month, that's when you get those horrendous stretch marks (hence why models & movie stars don't have any). A C-section is then performed in that eighth month and directly afterwards all that fat is suctioned out and a tummy tuck is done.

That really does explain a lot.

Most celebs credit breastfeeding as the answer to how they lost weight so quickly. (I researched it because I know you trust me to report accurate information.)

Uh ... yeah ... almost everyone breastfeeds and almost everyone is not in a size 4 or 6 the week after they give birth.

Do you think we're stupid or something?

Just stop trying to convince women that it's a possibility for them to look the way you do by simply breastfeeding and even adding in a little exercise (which most of us don't do immediately anyway because we're exhausted). It's not gonna happen that quickly and, frankly, it's unhealthy.

And, just go ahead and admit you've done it. We understand. You're in the entertainment industry. You need to look good. But, don't say you look the way you do from not eating bread and exercising. We know better.

I love love love that Kourtney Kardashian just came out and busted OK! magazine for photoshopping her belly after she posed just weeks after her delivery. Good for you, Kourtney. She posed for the cover thinking she would give women a more realistic view of post-pregnancy weight loss.

The first pic is her real pic ... belly = normal size after baby. Second pic = photoshop.

Whew! Just had to share this because honestly it made me feel a little better about my marked-up jelly belly and I hope it makes you feel a little better about yours.


Lois Lane II said...

I am now in love with Kourtney Kardashian, lol!!! (But, seriously.)

BaronessBlack said...

Thank YOU! Great post!
I knew about the C-tuck thing but thanks for posting on it. I know this is how these women make their living, but I wish they would just take some time to be with their families after they've had children. It doesn't really help anyone to see them immediately after the birth of a new baby; if they look a mess they spook people (I know I do!), if they look great they send a completely unrealistic message!
Take a couple of months off, girls! Have a Babymoon, and enjoy the new addition to the family before stepping in front of the cameras again!

Soliloquy said...

I don't know how I feel about this.

I'm obviously not against plastic surgery. But I AM against condescending deceitfulness.

On the one hand, if I had the money to do it, I can't say I wouldn't.... but only if natural childbirth wasn't an option.

On the other, some marks are worth it. Evidence of the sacrifice. Working hard to birth my babies was one of the most womanly things I've ever done. I'm not sure I'd sacrifice that if I didn't have to.

I also question that anyone vain enough to have a c-tuck would actually nurse their child. Nursing leaves stretch marks too!

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

Good post. Yeah, don't let anyone convince you that those size D's you got while pregant will disappear with breastfeeding! They may; but mine certainly didn't. And I breastfed my babies for a long time -- years for the last one! No, I'm stuck with these breasticles (as my daughter used to call them).

H-Mama said...

Yep... A real woman is going to be asked when she's going to have her baby... After she's had the baby. ;) Cute post. Thanks for keepin' it real!

Jeanette said...

Never heard of the C-tuck but it sounds more painful that delivery! No thanks! I'll take the stretch marks because they can be used as a tool against my children....."do you see what having you did to me?!" It usually rakes in a little more chocolate come Mother's Day ;}

Sera said...

I have never heard about a C-Tuck and this COMPLETELY infuriates me!!! I have lots and lots of friends who are midwives and natural birth advocates, so I know a LOT about the dangers and concerns about having unnecessary C-sections AND about taking a baby BEFORE the baby is naturally ready to be born. This is so VERY SELFISH of a mother to put her wants ahead of her unborn child and think she knows best to take her child out of its protective care of the womb before the baby is ready. It's like playing God!!! Who is to say that even if a baby seems big enough or the lungs developed enough that a baby is still not needing to develop more neurologically or their immune system to develop more in the safety of the womb's environment? There are too many childhood illnesses and health issue statistics (autism, asthma, ADHD, etc.) increasing rampantly these days right along with the increased unnecessary c-section statistics.

Let alone a woman opting for an unnecessary surgery that puts herself at risk for secondary infections and other problems. And I KNOW there are MANY risks for a woman in having unnecessary c-sections.

Okay... I will stop my ranting now.

Thank you for posting this!!! :)

Julie said...

Mam's stretch marks and jelly tummy are marks of a TRUE woman's body! The body that carried and grew a beautiful gift from God.

Thank you for such an honest post! Isn't it amazing what women will do for vanity?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Thank you for posting this! I needed to hear that.

Like the other ladies, if I had the money and was given the option I would have done it...but a woman can feel so down on themselves after they see that because they don't look like that!

Sara said...

wait wait WAIT a minute! You mean to tell me that I should have had my DR. suck the fat out of me while I was laying there? Well SHOOT. I'm gonna have to call him and give him a piece of my mind. I mean granted you can barely SEE my scar, but I want Giselle's tummy!

Megan Epley said...

Thank you! It does make me feel a little better. :)

Amy@My Front Porch said...

LOVE that you posted this!

Kora Bruce [Dixie Lust] said...

As Im reading this, I just keep going...."shut up...no really. shut up" Thats absolutely insane. I always wonder who comes up with this stuff!

Meanwhile, I do love me some Kardashians. Lets call it a guilty pleasure.

sara said...

I didn't have a body like that BEFORE I had kids....C-tuck wouldn't help! ha!

Vanessa said...

How scary to think that they give birth (Hollywood style of giving birth) before the baby is due. Pretty scary!

The Hat Chick said...

Just when I thought I had heard it all.....

Good for Kourtney. I bet she has a lot more fans now.