Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Reason My Husband Should Be Blogging Again


This was his post on the Crysler Sebring Convertible Club Forum Page (Yes, dorky, I know. What can I say? He's into cars, FOX news, and naps.):

Hidden Treasure in Seat Belts

OK, let me start this post by saying that I LOVE my car! I've had it for about six weeks now, and I've had to do a few things to it, but, overwhelmingly, I just really dig it.


Now, for this part, I'm sure I'm gonna get a "too much information" award, but here goes...
From day one, I noticed that my car smelled like sweat. I would even leave all the windows down in the garage overnight, just to see if it would air out, but to no avail.

Well, last week, I was driving my daughters to school, and I just happened to get a whiff of my seat belt. YEOWEE!!! It stunk like nobody's business. You know the kind of smell: fat man's self-made gravy. (OK, all you fat guys out there - chill out. I'm 6'0", 315 lbs.) It was on the driver's AND passenger's side front belts. I just kept getting a picture of some overly tan, and super-overly oily, hairy-chested ladies' dude in a tank top (or shirtless) driving my baby around in the Miami sun, flashing his gold teeth (or maybe just one tooth) to the chicks, trying to pick them up or something. My mind's eye guy even has oily hair (implants), and those eighties sunglasses with the little red leather blinders on the sides.
Anyway, this morning, I got after it with some all-purpose kitchen cleaner and a toothbrush. Upon closer inspection, my dark gray seat belts were actually kind of brown. I got most of the smell out with just that cleaning.

BTW, the dampened towel I used to remove the excess cleaner was also brown after I was done. After a couple more cleanings, I think she'll be good to go.
OK, so there you go, just in case you were interested. Special thanks to the oily dude who left all of his man-funk in my seat belts.

Reminds me of the "Smelly Car" Seinfeld episode where Elaine figures out that the valet has stunk up Jerry's car with his body odor and the smell won't come out.

I'd read his blog every day if he blogged again.

13 Comments:

sara said...

oh my word, he is hilarious!!! I would read his blog too!

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

I wish you could see the scrunched up face I was making the whole time I was reading this. Man-funk is powerful.
ha!
I'm glad I already ate breakfast. Gross.

Rachel @ Future Pastor's Wife said...

That's hilarious!!! And a bit gross!!!

Rachelle said...

Bahahaha! That is so funny.. and a little gross... HA!

Tammy said...

Eeeeewwwwww and bwah ha ha ha. He.Is.Hilarious.

The Wixom Zoo said...

Hahahaha!!! Yeah, I'd read it too.

Sara said...

NO. No. He. did. NOT. send that to the car company?!?!?
That was one of the funniest things I've ever read. E.V.E.R. Oh please please please blog again Beau!!!!

{Jodie} said...

Fat man's self-made gravy. Classic. Also, great title. I usually do see gravy as a treasure. Only now, for the first time ever, I also see gravy as repulsive.

Biscuits, anyone?

Queen Mother said...

There should be one day a month or week dedicated to his hilarity. Do it!

Debra said...

Oh my goodness, I'm still laughing as I type and my husband is wondering what is so funny! Seriously, your husband is hilarious and I'd like to say a special thanks to the oily dude who left all of his man-funk on his seat belts too....because of him I had the best laugh I've had in a long time! :)

thedomesticfringe said...

Hysterical! He should definitely start a blog.

-FringeGirl

Kari said...

I still check periodically to see if Beau has posted any new blogs. He really should start up again. Come on, Beau!!

Anonymous said...

Very Interesting!
Thank You!