Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Hard Stuff

There are times in parenting where you think you're doing a pretty good job.

Your kids are well-behaved for the most part. Not perfect, but well-behaved. No major discipline issues and you are living in a drama-less house.

Then, there are times where you think you don't know what the heck you are doing and your kids have obviously forgotten everything you've ever taught them. You question your parenting "skills" and think back to where you may have gone wrong.

You look at your children and wonder who they are. You even ask them, "Who are you? And, what have you done with my child?"

That's the point where you have to believe that all the Truth you've ever taught them will come to pass. You believe and trust that God does have a plan.

It's been one of those days, ya'll. One of those days where the hard parenting takes place and you hate every minute of it.

You just want to go back to simpler times.

Only you realize you can't remember simpler times.

You try to remember their sweet, little voice singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" all day long and how you read "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" 10 times in one day. You try to remember the tiny pigtails you formed in her hair and how all she wanted to wear around the house was a tu-tu.

But, you can't see it anymore. The image is gone.

You try hard, but your memory is failing.

So, when you tuck her into bed, you hug her extra-long and extra-tight. You want to hold onto the way her arms feel, her sweet head next to yours, how she doesn't want to let you go either, how she says you give the best hugs, how she wants you to lay next to her just for 5 minutes, how her hair smells, and how much peace you feel. Your heart actually hurts.

You don't want to ever forget.

15 Comments:

Julie said...

I know just how you feel.

I wanted to tell you about a Wonderful book I just started reading by Lysa TerKeurst called, "Am I Messing Up My Kids?" This book really hits home with me and calms the Good Mom / Bad Mom thoughts.

I highly recommend it!

Have a great day!

sara said...

oh my heart hurts for you today because I know exactly what you are talking about. Those teen years can feel like they are going to kill you! But the good news is soon, that child you love comes back and the relationship you have is amazing. Hold on...keep doing the tough parenting....and keep handing them over to God!

Lois Lane II said...

Praying for you, Mama Belle. They will thank you for your teachings later on. I wasn't the easiest child to raise, but now I look back and thank God that I had the parents I did who raised me in His house.

Sera said...

I'm bawling!!! I was reading this to Darren this morning and was literally bawling trying to get through it.

I know EXACTLY how you feel... especially lately! And I know our daughters are around the same age. I've been hugging them harder and longer these days hoping to imprint the feeling of their hug in my mind forever hoping to be able to help the hug linger in my arms as long as it can. I've been telling them that I love them hundreds of times a day hoping they will never ever forget even when I might have to be hard on them later if they disobey. And having the boys at ages 4 and 2 seems to have heightened everything even more as I look at them and barely remember the girls at their ages... so I end up hugging them and loving on them extra as well... time flies too fast...

I don't want to ever forget, too...

thedomesticfringe said...

This is so touching...me too...no forgetting!

-FringeGirl

Sara said...

My babies aren't even double digits yet and I'm already questioning parenting "skills". I keep asking for Mercy because I KNOW I just KNOW I'll need storages of it when Butter turns tween/teen. I keep hoping that having my son be so stubborn now might work to my advantage later...
I could be wrong, but I'm hoping, for THIS I'm not.

Katie@The Baby Factory said...

Kudos to you for digging in your heels and working through the tough stuff! One of these days......you will be glad you did!
This world needs more parents like you, who are willing to fight FOR their child instead of fight WITH their child.
Keep it up!

Queen Mother said...

Who gave you permission to make me all teary-eyed today?!! I mean, I've got stuff to do!

I am so glad that someone else admitted to not remembering. Thanks for reminding me to enjoy the moments.

Queen Mother said...

Who gave you permission to get all up in my day and make me teary eyed?!!! I mean, I've got stuff to do!

I am glad that someone else is willing to admit "forgetting." Thanks for reminding me to enjoy the moments.

Becky Haaland said...

Ah....I remember those days. Having walked your journey already...my kids are 22 and 19, there is only t his I can say: Parenting is not....nor has it ever been...nor will it ever be....easy. Realizing the job bestowed upon you (us) is to take a tiny human being and to mold them into God-loving, productive adults, the only thing you can do is your "very best." Teaching the love and principals of God, teaching responsibility, discipline, self-control are all important...there are many "other skills" gut you get my drift. No, you will not get it perfect....just do your very best. No, your kids will probably not adhere to everything you teach them....but they are just like us...humans with the ability to make choices. Hold fast to the Scriptures and know they will be fine.

Today, I sit back and one of my greatest joys in life is seeing how my two kids have "flown from the nest" and are soaring through the skies. No, I wasn't the perfect parent...would love to go back and do a lot of stuff different but you know what? Doesn't matter because they turned out just fine....and the weaknesses I see....I'm confident our Lord in Heaven can take care of those things....in them...and in me!

On a different note....I'm looking forward to the Grandparenting years....that's payback time...LOL.

Amy@My Front Porch said...

Ok...why'd you have to go and make me cry?!? Thanks for the reminder to enjoy these sweet simpler times.

The Wixom Zoo said...

Ahhh, you hit the nail right on the head! Sometimes I wonder if an alien has come and taken my sweet daughter and replaced her with some crazy creature that I've never seen before. My mom says that they normalize again sometime around 15 or 16...

The Hat Chick said...

I am standing on the edge with you. I am holding them tighter and tighter each day. I cleaned Action's Saints helmet tattoo off his cheek last night using baby oil. I kissed his newly cleaned cheek with the intention of sending him to his room for bedtime. Smelling the baby oil on his cheek, I was overwhelmed with memories of his little baby head. I made him sit in my lap so I could cuddle him and re-live that smell. Ordinarily he wouldn't sit in my lap like that, but he was so sleepy that I got away with it.

Lily said...

I honestly wish that I could read your post and say "huh, I have no idea what she means" but I can't. With a challenging 16 year old under my roof and all that comes with her, I know how you feel. I long to go back to the days when she would look up lovingly at me and smile those sweet toothless smiles and say "read it again, mommy".

Will she come back to me? I often wonder, but I keep lifting her up to her Heavenly Father in prayer as her earthly father and I do the best we can day by day.

Rachel @ Future Pastor's Wife said...

Such a good post. I'm already forgetting, and mine's only 4. I can't imagine how bad it's going to be as she gets older.