Thursday, January 21, 2010

Love can be a hard thing.


The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:15

Did you read that? "The entire law." EVERYTHING summed up with one command.

I struggle with love.

Why?

That's a good question.

Now, it's easy to love my children .... my husband (even though it took a while for him to get to the heart of who I was in those courting years) ... my close friends (which are few and far between).

It's loving the rest.

Yet, my God commands me to.

But, if I'm being real here ... really real ... I can shut my heart off.

I hate that about me.

But, it's really easier and natural for me to do that.

I want to love.

I want to look into the eyes of strangers and see what Jesus would see.

I so often don't because I don't take the time to even look anyone in the eyes.

I don't take the time to discover and know who people really are ... even people I see on a regular basis.

I laid in bed just meditating on this one verse and wondering why I'm not like everyone else ... those that just love everybody and that's easy for them.

I asked the Lord, "Why? I do try to love people, Lord, but I don't love them like I should."

I want to genuinely love them. For real ... not an act ... not even because I am commanded to ... just because my heart desires to.

In fact, as I looked back on my life, I realized the people I loved were minimal.

And, yes, it always comes back to the same thing.

A little girl was never meant to cry herself to sleep night after night, wondering why her daddy left her and she wasn't worth fighting for.

Because you don't cry, and you don't hurt, when you don't love.

Ugh.

Personal therapy stinks.

12 Comments:

Katie@The Baby Factory said...

Doesn't having an 'Old Nature' just stink sometimes?? I hear you though....people aren't my 'thing'...so this is hard for me....really really hard.

Lois Lane II said...

This is going to sound so teenager-ish, but...I so GET this post.

I'm really struggling with loving some of my husband's family. Okay, one person. Why? Because NO ONE should treat his son like my husband has been treated. And it's something both of us (hubby and I) have struggled with for years. It's so hard. We're reading "Witness to the World," which is a study lesson based on the book "Concentric Circles of Care" (which I MUST purchase soon), which has really gotten us to think about our relationship with this person.

I've also been encouraging my hubby to read "As We Forgive." It's so powerful and really helped me to forgive those people who have hurt him/us. But I'm trying to take it a step further with love. And that's...that's so hard.

H-Mama said...

A wonderfully honest post. I 'love' it. ;) ...and get it.

Amy@My Front Porch said...

I know exactly how you feel. Love is risky. Worth it. But risky.

Cathy said...

I'm with you on this one. It's a struggle. But you know it's God's will for us to love (in fact as you said it's His command), which means we can ask Him to give us love. He promised if we asked anything in His name (or His will) He would do it. We can't do it ourselves, but He can help us. Remember love is one of the characteristics of the fruit of the spirit, which is a gift from Him.

3 Blessings said...

I hear you and I get this post. There are people that are really hard to love...mostly because they never had love. I am trying to hard these days to see past the annoying stuff that people put out and see their heart. Recently, I had a conversation with a lady and I think I told myself 100 times that she is a child of God during the conversation. I am thankful that God doesn't see me the way I often see others.
Blessings,
Amy

Rachelle said...

I hear ya... I had one of those daddy's too...

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Wow, girl, I don't even know what to say. Except thank God for the people He's brought into your life who are willing to stick it out through that thick skin of yours. There is obviously a very tender heart down inside there. And it's worth fighting for. {hugs}

Rach@In His Hands said...

This post got me. I struggle with this, too, and sinfully I keep pushing it away. Hugs friend.

Vanessa said...

Thanks for this post--it's something every human being faces and it's something I am working through myself. Just remember that we always fall short. We are self-centered BUT Christ who LIVES IN US loves everyone. Embrace that! We sometimes struggles with some things because of what we have lived. Remember when you are weak (unable to do things) He is strong. Know that THROUGH YOU Christ loves everyone even though your heart struggles with it sometimes--even though you think you aren't capable. You are brave to work through these things and reach inside to let Christ fill in those spaces. Thanks again for being honest and saying things that we all have a hard time admitting or facing.
Much love to you and all as we work through to become the image of Christ.

Vanessa

jennifer said...

Your honesty in this post is wonderful. It takes a lot of humility to lay it all out there. I think God will bless you for it and use it to help others.

Have a good weekend Mama Belle.

Dawn LeJeune said...

I totally love this post. I really get what you are talking about here. As you know back in school, I never really had many friends, nor do I now. No one took the time to get to know the REAL me. they never could overlook the fact that I was on the heavy side or a little quiet. If only I would have been a little more confident and outgoing, maybe they would have seen the REAL me. I still struggle this day with LOVE. I don't understand how my husband can possibly LOVE me, when I don't love myself. Thank you Mama Belle for opening my eyes a little.