I always knew pigs were dirty little creatures.

Should we really be surprised at all this?

They're pigs. Just the word pig in itself conjures up thoughts of disgustingness. You don't call someone a pig because of their good hygiene.

These animals wallow in the mud in an attempt to make themselves more comfortable. And, ya'll, they eat almost anything. 

Yeah, I know they're supposed to be pretty clean animals. But, to me, a clean animal does not poop anywhere near where they eat & wallow ... not even in a corner away from their food. That just ain't cuttin' it. Still too close for me.

However, we hear, "Don't worry,"

"There's no reason to be alarmed" ...

despite the fact that the school very near to the school my girls go to has been ordered by Gov. Bobby Jindal to be closed Thursday and Friday due to an outbreak of flu.

Because you know, that's common. Isn't it?

I mean, schools are always closing just because a few students get the flu, right?

No need for alarm.

Relax.

Don't panic.

I have told the girls no less than five times since I picked them up after school to wash their hands several times a day and anytime they touch anything that could have any germ on it ... 'cause I like to scare the beegeezus out of my children if it means saving their lives.

But, seriously, in one breath doctors are telling us to stay calm and this is no different than the outbreaks of the regular flu every year, and in the next breath, officials are closing schools. Hmmm ...

Can I get a straight answer please?

And, I like Mexico and all. Seriously, their chips & salsa keep me alive and happy.

But, shut those borders down. What are you waiting for? 

Rather than invite pig flu into our country, let's try to prevent it. That would be good.

Are you trying not to hurt Mexico's feelings? Don't worry. They'll get over it.

April Showers Bring May Flowers.

What do May flowers bring?

La Petite Belle in her most hated dance costume. We left the wings off due to overkill.

I think she's BEEutiful. (yikes ... that actually hurt to type, but it had to be done)

I'm sleeping with the enemy.

Remember that movie?

Remember the towels perfectly aligned?

Remember the canned goods stacked neatly all facing the same direction?

Enter my hubby ...

He's on a rampage.

I actually caught him measuring the distance between each hanger.

He has announced that he will only be using white hangers in his closet (except for the three on the end there ... he ran out).

I won't show you the picture of how he folded his underwear so perfectly in some sort of tri-fold pattern, and then, informed me that that was how he liked them folded. Guess I just got out of folding his underwear.

Famous People I've Met or Been in the Same Room With

#1 - Did I mention Lisa Whelchel and I are friends? More like I'm a better friend to her than she is to me. I mean ... I'm here when she needs to talk. She can call me whenever and I'll be there. She just never calls.

#2 Steven Tyler ... "Dude, looks like a lady" to say the least.I was eating with K Belle at one of my favorite restaurants when we lived in Tulsa, Zio's. He was there too, eating with his family at another table. I pretended I didn't even see him so that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Beau says I should have gone up to him and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Tyler ... zippee dubie dib dee do (sung in a Steven Tylerish fashion)."

#3 Regis Philbin, with his lovely wife, Joy - We ate at the same restaurant in Vegas (notice how I didn't say "Las Vegas" like someone who didn't frequent this town ... for me, it's just Vegas ... even though this was my one and only visit), Wolfgang Puck's, Postrio, at The Venetian. Obviously, I have a celebrity palate.

#4 Ali Landry - Don't know who she is? She was Miss USA, the Doritos girl, in Bella & numerous TV shows, and married to Mario Lopez (now divorced). She and I worked together at a local boutique for about a year. She left to do modeling in Europe & I left with my new husband for Tulsa, OK. Believe it or not, I think I got the better end of that deal. And, yes, she really is gorgeous.

#5 - Finola Hughes - Remember when she was just a dancer and not a TV star? Well, I used to be just a dancer too (My dream was to be a ballerina). She practiced in our ballet studio for a local performance. I was there in the studio with her. Cool.

#6 - Steve Kanaly - "Dallas" ranch foreman I met at a local rodeo when I was kid. Got his autograph and everything. Don't laugh. "Dallas" was huge back then.

#7 - The Jonas Brothers - The same day my oldest daughter cried from being star-struck. Read more about that here. Not sure why the photographer couldn't give me one minute to even get my eyes open.

There are many more Christian artists & ministry hot shots that I'm not mentioning because I wouldn't want you to think I'm a name-dropper.

My daughter's a shyster.

Don't let the innocent look fool you.

Conversation in the car:

La Petite Belle: Is it OK if I give Jill these Christmas tree earrings since my ears aren't pierced anymore?  (long story) Christmas is her favorite holiday. (La Petite Belle showed me that she had boxed up a pair of brand new earrings she had received from Christmas.)

Me: I don't care. Do whatever you want. You can't wear them anymore.

La Petite Belle: OK. Well ... I'm selling them.

Me: What?

La Petite Belle: Yeah. I'm selling all my earrings to my friends.

(At this point, I'm picturing money changing hands on the playground. Tiny boxes being hidden in backpacks.)

Me: Baby, you can't sell your earrings. You've worn them.

But, in all honesty, what second-grader wouldn't want to buy a pair of used earrings?

Wonder how much money she could make. Maybe this will work.

Next ... partly-used deodorant sticks & half-full bottles of shampoo.

You might as well call me a tree-hugger.

Just in case you didn't hear about it, it was Earth Day yesterday.

I celebrated by:

Drinking my skinny caramel latte from a recyclable cup (but then threw the cup in the trash)

Carpooled for lunch (in a larger, less fuel-efficient vehicle than my own)

Intended to save fuel by planning evening with minimal driving, while considering family's schedules (ended up traveling more than normal ... long story)

K Belle took 2-minute shower to save 180 gallons of water (while I filled the tub to relax in the jacuzzi)

Baby steps. Baby steps. 

Don't send me hate-mail. I am really trying. For real, ya'll.

I've been doing small things like, using my re-usable shopping bags, instead of those plastic bags you get at the store. Look at these ... how cute! Go here to get them & the rest of the website is also fabulous.

I've limited my drinking from plastic water bottles.

K Belle has been a huge help by turning off all lights in the house all the time. We basically live in the dark.

I try to pay most by bills online and go paperless.

Bought this incredible cleaner that smells divine and is chemical-free, all-natural, & earth-friendly. Once you try it, you'll never want to buy 409 or Lysol again.

Seriously, try it. Go here, there's a cleaner for everything.

What are you doing?

As if you didn't know enough about me ...

I was tagged by H-Mama, who is the wife of an actual real friend of Beau's. Here's what's funny ... she found me through Sarah's blog. In fact, I think everyone's found me through Sarah's blog. Or maybe they found her through me ... hmmm ... hence her one-hundred-and-some-odd followers. I'm not jealous.

Anyway, here's the Meme where I tell you 32 things you didn't even care to know.

THE EIGHT MEME

8 Things I'm Looking Forward to ...

1. The girls being out of school

2. December 16th, 2009

3. Going to the beach with good friends in June

4. Laying around the pool with the girls

5. A mission trip I will be going on sometime in the near future

6. Being able to run beyond my typical 3 miles. A girl can dream.

7. Having lunch today with good friends

8. Sleeping in this weekend and hoping more will follow

8 Things I Did Yesterday ...

1. Grocery shopping. Blecch.

2. Convinced myself to do a more lax Daniel Fast again for the next 30 days

3. Realized I can eat Fritos on the Daniel Fast. Ingredients: whole corn, corn oil, & salt. Yeah, that's all natural. Bought family-size bag. 

4. Reminisced about my babies' younger years, while cleaning out La Petite Belle's closet, and coming across their little dresses I kept. Growing up stinks.

5. Yardwork. Pulled at least 6 ft. of  poison ivy out of my own yard.

6. Finalized garage sale details for next weekend. Yes, I've lost my mind.

7. Loads & loads of laundry & still not done.

8. Took busiest street at busiest time of day, waited in line for 10 minutes, for the best sno-cones in town, after picking up girls from school. This was the best part of the day.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do ...

1. Go with Beau to Europe.

2. Speak in front of people without feeling like I'm going to puke.

3. Open my own boutique.

4. Take the girls back to DisneyWorld before they get too old.

5. Just stinkin' lose weight & not put it back on in one day.

6. Remodel portions of my home for little to no money.

7. Find a true anti-aging cream.

8. Despite some of the previous statements, be content with who I am & who God's forming me to be.

8 Shows I Enjoy ...

1. American Idol

2. The Biggest Loser

3. The Office

4. Jon & Kate Plus Eight

5. What Not to Wear

6. Saturday Night Live

7. Fox News, in general (Beau says that's not a show, but so what ... just all of it.)

8. Desperate Housewives (My guilty pleasure ... don't judge.)

Stumped for a blog post? Here you go. You're welcome.

How many bloggers does it take to take one good picture?

Apparently more than three.

Thank God for my two blogging friends, Jodie & Rachel, who called me as soon as the conference was over, saying, "Are you hungry?"

Of course, I was. But, was not sure I could get away. You know ... the whole being in charge means making sure everything is clean & neat & put away before you can leave.

I had a great bunch of people that had it all under control, and after hugging & thanking my friend, Carlie, and crying out of pure exhaustion and happiness that the event was over and a success, I called them back and said, "I'm coming. Order me some shrimp quesadillas."

I was off to the little Mexican restaurant down the street.

We talked and laughed & then, of course, had to get a pic to commemorate the event, like any true blogger would do.

Now, before you judge these pics, you must note that we had been working all day. Jodie & Rachel at their booths. Me doing some MBWA (management by walking around) at the marketplace that was held in conjunction with the women's conference.

People, I was tired (4 1/2 hours of sleep) and greasy and didn't wash my hair because of the torrential downpour that was occurring all weekend. These pics are evidence of those facts.

And, a question ... if you saw three women struggled and contorting their bodies to just take one picture, wouldn't you offer to help? I would. We laughed so hard we were crying.

Sorry, girls. You knew they would hit the blog. Take heart that you two don't look the worst.

The Night I Lost Control

Not the way you think.

I literally lost all control.

God was the only One in control, which is the way it should be, but usually I don't let Him.

At about 11:00 a.m., Friday morning, I was chillin' with these people.

Don't know who they are? It's Ayiesha Woods, her brother & drummer, Donald, and Drew, her bass player. Guitar player to come later. And no, I was not a dorky stalker fan. But, I did ask for pictures (which I asked others not to do) all for the blog's sake. You're welcome.

They were super cool, with no rock star egos. Not to mention, they rocked the house at the conference that night. If you don't have her CD, run out and get it. She's incredible.

But, I'm getting sidetracked. 

If you remember, I was supposed to be hangin' with Lisa Whelchel. Her plane was to arrive at 3:30 p.m. ... perfect timing because she wasn't to speak until about 8:00 p.m. Plenty of time, right? No rushing or stressing. Everything was going according to plans.

Until ...

I got a phone call from her husband earlier, in which he informed me that their flight had been cancelled due to bad weather. They were going to have to rush to the airport to find another flight. The only one they could get on was a flight to New Orleans, landing at 3:25 p.m. 

This was a little scary.

New Orleans is 2 hours away, with them having to hit Baton Rouge traffic at about 5:00 p.m., which is seriously bumper-to-bumper.

I remained calm and figured she'd still get here in plenty of time to speak ... probably about 6:00 or 6:30 p.m. (which was when the event started). Her husband was to call me when their plane touched down.

At 4:00, no phone call. I called ... straight to voicemail ... starting to become concerned.

We check flights online. Their flight said it was not to arrive until 5:20 p.m.

WHAT?!?!

The event started at 6:30, remember? New Orleans is 2 hours away ... not counting waiting in baggage claim and picking up rental car, we're looking at longer.

According to my calculations, she would not arrive until 8:00, if they hit no traffic.

I started to panic a little and then tried to think of something I could do to stall. I called my planning team to my office and we prayed. I relinquished all control to God. It was out of my hands. There was nothing I could do to fix this. I felt peace. I knew everything would be OK and I would not disappoint these 300-and-somewhat women.

I decided we would start 15 minutes late. Do women's events start on time anyway? And, we would do giveaways we had planned for the next day to stall time if we had to.

Her husband and I kept in touch as they traveled. I held my cell phone in my hand throughout worship & Ayiesha Woods' concert, waiting for the call that she was here.

I was never so happy to hear Blondie's, "Call Me" (my ringtone). She was here. It was 7:45. I met them at the door. She had put her make-up on in the car and even changed her clothes in the car. She asked for water and a mint and we headed into the concert.

I thought about what God was trying to teach me through these moments of panic.

Trust.

It always comes down to that, doesn't it?

And, do you know what she spoke on? Being a control freak and allowing God to be in control. She was great the whole weekend.

If you get the chance to see either of these ladies, go.

I'm gonna need a nap.

Saturday afternoon, about 4:00 ... that's when it's gonna happen. I'm claiming it now. Is it OK to take a sleeping pill at that time?

Remember this?

Yeah, that's happening tomorrow.

I'm extremely tied up in preparations ... one day at a time ... or one thought at a time. Slow down. Breathe, Mama Belle.

But, even more importantly, my children need clean underwear and I must cook the ground meat I took out of the freezer for spaghetti Tuesday night and dust & straighten up (my house is passing no white glove test today). Not to mention my boss (you know who) is being such a slave-driver right now.

All this to say ... I'll see you on Monday with some sort of story. I'm sure of it.

New Glasses & Hot-Rolled Hair (despite the fact that you think that's so '80s)

La Petite Belle wanted to curl her hair this morning, so Mama did too. Just for fun. And, yes, the glasses look very much the same as my old ones. Oh, well.

What other kind of post would you expect from one of the Top 100 Blogs on Christian Families? Now, the blog is titled Becoming a Radiologist ... hmmm. But, check it out if you're looking for some new blogs to read.

Things I've Learned in the Past Week

1. When you go to hang out with blogging friends, don't just assume you're about the same age as them. You're either immature or in denial. Being the oldest blogger in the bunch kinda stinks.

2. When your friend informs you that your eyeliner or mascara is smudged under your eye, don't believe her. Because it's not make-up, it's your dark raccoon eye circles that no concealer can cover. And no matter what you go through, they're still there.

3. It's not OK to eat half a bag of Stacy's Cinnamon Sugar pita chips after you run. Running is not an excuse to just eat more. 

4. In one week you can gain back the 3-5 pounds you lost from your previous stomach flu.

5. If you say, "I will sleep late tomorrow." three times, as you lay in the bed before you go to sleep, you definitely will not. You'll actually wake up about an hour earlier than you usually do and just lay in the bed for an hour, tossing and turning, before deciding to just get up. Of course, everyone else in your family will sleep until 9:00.

6. Blue Bell has a new ice cream ... Mocha Madness. I'll give you the scoop (no pun intended) on the taste later. If you live in the North, you may not have Blue Bell ... how sad for you. It's divine.

Here's the description: 

A rich coffee ice cream containing roasted pecan halves and chocolate chips, surrounded by a smooth caramel sauce. Mmmm ...

7. In relation to #6, I think I may be lactose-intolerant. How horrible would that be? No time this week to discover if I am or not, but will work on that next week.

8. An 11-year-old girl can eat two cans of tuna, with eggs, relish, and mayo ... the whole nine yards ... by herself for lunch.

9. Netflix's watch instantly movies consist of Porky's, The Terminator, and Booty Call. Seriously, Netflix we need some updated movies.

10. A whole lot about undergarments to wear or not wear with white pants.

Always in a Rush

First ... the white pants, for all of you who asked. 

Everything turned out OK after all my dilemmas, even after the Spanx incident I had 15 minutes before I was to leave the house (which I thought was a sure bet to all my undergarment problems) and in addition, getting lip gloss on my silk shirt 5 minutes before time to go, then splashing lotion on it 2 minutes later. That last 5 minutes was not pretty. I think I may have lost my mind for a brief moment. On Saturday night, I just dealt with the visible panty line, but stopped by the store on my way home and picked up some of those old suntan control-top pantyhose we used to wear. I snipped the feet out and VOILA ... way better from the day before and much more comfortable.

The girls and I rushing, as evidenced by my forced "hurry up and take the picture" smile, Easter morning

K Belle, doing what all of us have had to do before ... applying mascara on the way to church.

I tried all morning to get a picture with Beau, but was unsuccessful ... way too much going on. Here he is getting ready to rock the Easter production and thrilled that I'm taking a picture of him.

The Easter production turned out fabulous and we saw hundreds of people come to the Lord. Praise God!

Aside from that, my favorite part of Easter was my mom's homemade macaroni and cheese and then, a nap with La Petite Belle and Beau. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Well Said

A friend of mine introduced me to this video of Mark Driscoll yesterday and it is so worthy of sharing with anyone.

The video is directed toward men, and we, as women, can become extremely self-righteous while watching it, saying our "amen"s and nodding our heads. But, it's more than that.

I hope it doesn't allow for that type of attitude in you. Although, I am moved and agree with everything he said related to men. I took more from it than that. Look at it related to You.

This actually challenged me and made me question where I am with God and how I treat Him.

What he says about communion is so powerful. It made me think about how I take communion for granted and sometimes have a lax attitude about it when I should be treasuring each time I get to partake in such a sacrament. Shame on me.

One of My Favorite Things

Easter reminds me of ham. And, don't think I'm being anti-Christian because I know that's not what Easter's really about. I'm just pro-ham.

Being pro-ham makes me also pro-bacon ... one of the greatest foods ever.

Bacon reminds me of why those white pants might not look that great.

My friend, Jim Gaffigan and I share a love for this delightful strip of goodness. Prepare yourself to be amused and entertained.

White Pants Dilemma ... Men, this does not concern you.

So, I bought some white pants. 

Ya'll ... I'm scared.

I'm going to attempt to wear them for Easter.

One thing I don't like about the act of wearing them ... no, actually two things ... no, maybe three ...

#1 You can see the pockets straight through the pants.

#2 Every imperfection is noticeable.

#3 The whole undergarment thing ... hmm.

My worry is that I think I look like this,

but actually I look something like this,

or worse.

Do you wear white pants? Any hints for me?

A Day in the Life of Roxy Belle

6:30 a.m. - Go outside - pee

6:45 a.m. - Eat

7:15 a.m. - Jump up on chairs Belle children have left pushed out from breakfast table and lick leftover breakfast crumbs off table until Mama Belle catches me

7:30 a.m. - Look pitiful as Belle children and Papa Beau leave

7:30 a.m. - Bark incessantly at girl that stands outside the front of our house to wait for bus, despite Mama Belle's urging to hush up

8:15 a.m. - Look pitiful once again as Mama Belle leaves

8:16 a.m. - Lay in chair & sleep

Between 3:30 and 5:30 p.m. - Be waiting anxiously at door for family to arrive - pee again and maybe even more - have Belle children play fetch with me

6:00 p.m. - Sit under dining room table as Belle family eats and hope once again that one of the children will not push her chair in again for the chance of more crumbs

7:30 p.m. - Pee

8:00 p.m. - Lay in bed & sleep, with intermittent attempts to be petted, as well as unsuccessful attempts to get on the couch

Between 10:30 & 11:00 p.m. - Pee & apprehensively (and by apprehensively, I mean walk at a turtle's pace, while longingly gazing into my parents' eyes, hoping they might let me sleep in the big bed) get in kennel for the night

My life is exhausting. Today was even more exhausting due to my day at the doggie spa. Sheesh. Pampering makes me even more tired.

Baton Rouge or Bust

My friend, Jodie, and I met early Saturday morning for our run. We debated on whether or not to go due to our trip to meet new blogging friends in Baton Rouge and we decided to just do it. Now, that's discipline.

Afterwards, we got cleaned up and changed (into clothes we had debated on the previous night ... you know, first impressions and all) and headed across the Atchafalaya Basin and the Mississippi River to our beloved capital, Baton Rouge.

We met the girls at La Madeline's.

Here we are in the one picture some guy took: (From left to right, Me, Tracie, Rachel, and Jodie). And, no I am not Asian or drunk, my eyes, of course, are almost closed. Nice timing on that shot, worker-guy.

Thank God my tummy was feeling better because I got to eat this:

Chicken Salad croissant ... It was delicious. Plus, I had the Tomato Basil Soup and Strawberries Romanoff ... both equally divine.

And, the company was great. We all totally hit it off and didn't waste any time talking about the same kind of things that we post about.  Jodie pointed out that it only took us five minutes to be on the topic of ladies' underwear ... thongs or no thongs? We giggled a lot.

It was like we had been friends forever.

After eating our scrumptious lunch, we headed out to do some shopping. I found a few things, but my best buy of the day was this from Sephora:

Benefit's Erase Paste - concealer & brightener ... hoping it erases about five years out from under my eyes.

The most intriguing product of the day was this:

Nars' Collection of Orgasm products ... yes, that's the name of these products.

I'm thinking this must be some awesome lip gloss. Wouldn't you?

We all tried it. We had matching glossy, pink lips. But, it seriously was not that great. Not even good enough to buy, much less match up to its name.

So why the name, you ask? The products are supposed to make you look flushed. I'll just leave it at that. 

Go to Sephora and try it for yourself and let me know what you think.

All in all, it was a wonderful day and we all vowed to do it again.

Entering Very Dangerous Territory

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

Something that all of you bloggers want to do:

I'm meeting some of my blogger friends (hence the "dangerous territory" ... you know, the whole keeping yourself a mystery and being way cooler online).

Four of us, lil' ol' Louisiana bloggers are getting together tomorrow for lunch and shopping.

Here's the quandary I'm in ... I'm a much more desirable friend online.

Not only that, I dare to say, I'm not as witty in real life ... or intelligent. (OK ... I cannot lie. I am a little witty in real life ... and somewhat intelligent ... and quite darn funny, I think. Maybe I'm the one who finds my wit & humor most entertaining. I crack myself up sometimes.)

Anyhoo, will I make a good impression?

Jodie's my real friend. She pretty much gets me.

Rachel, I've met once and hung out with for about an hour. We seemed to hit it off. She made me buy those ghastly boots for Dare to Wear.

Tracie is the one I've never met. 

And, Tracie & Rachel have not met Jodie, but have met each other. Follow?

Will this foursome hit it off and become a great blogging force to be reckoned with? I think so. Check back Monday for recap.

Some things never change.

I still feel like I'm in a constant state of confusion.

I never met an ice cream I didn't like. I am a little neater now, but not much.

I still love chillin' on the couch with my man (Granddaddy) ... only the man has changed.
I often have a little mischievous side and am a total prankster and wise gal. And I've never been afraid to get in someone's face and speak my mind. Although, people often wish I would just keep quiet. The tongue ... such a hard thing to tame. I'm workin' on it.
I often dance in the bed naked.  No, not really. But, I do have underwear with hearts on them and I often have no inhibitions.

I know you are all relieved that Beau got the scanner working for me.

How I found out I don't have many baby pictures and I can't work a scanner

Rachel, O Rachel ... this is all you get.

I wanted to have lots of cute little snapshots, but was unable to work my stinkin' scanner. I will continue to work on it and get back with you.

My impression of a Gerber baby

My impression of Alfalfa from "The Little Rascals" ... really, Mom?

Be back soon. Not only am I battling scanners, but a bad stomach flu. Ugh.