Monday, November 30, 2009

Sorry, I've been lost in "Southern Living."

Not living in the South, but Southern Living.

Ahhh ... Southern Living. It's the magazine I can't do without.

I do get other magazines ... like, Better Homes and Gardens, which is a close second.

But, let's face it, people, Southern Living laughs in the face of Better Homes and Gardens, or any other magazine for that fact.

I live vicariously through this magazine.

When I open up this masterpiece of a magazine, I am transported to how life could be if I were (a) crafty, (b) a gardener, (c) a gourmet chef, and (d) had tons of money to spend on either of these aspects of my life.

Case in point:

The cake on the cover.
Looks delicious, doesn't it? Southern Living does have some of the best recipes I've ever tried. And, the photos of these dishes are spectacular and make you think you could create such stunning, delightful fare.

However, when you look at the recipe, you see a small problem. The recipe takes up two entire pages. Two. Whole. Pages. From top to bottom. Seriously?

Don't believe me? Check here, which is the link for the cake only, not the whipped ganache filling, or the seven-minute frosting, or the candied oranges. Just the cake.

I can say with great certainty that I will not be making this cake. But, I will be making homemade turkey pot pie tonight, with Pillsbury crust, not homemade. And, with canned mixed vegetables, not raw, cooked, chopped vegetables.

And, I also won't be crafting a centerpiece this extravagant. One candle will have to do.
And, seriously ... homemade napkin rings? Who has time for that?
I think this might be a conspiracy against all women. Is Southern Living conspiring against us? Is Southern Living trying to make women feel inadequate because they bake with cake mixes and use paper towels as napkins? Boo, Southern Living. Boo.

But, oh, how I love you.

And, how I wish I could do all of those things in your magazines, while living in one of your showcase houses.

Darn you, Southern Living.

I hate you, but I love you.


sara said...

oh I love my southern living!

Cassandra said...

I feel the same way!!! They are in cahoots with Martha...I just know it...

Amy@My Front Porch said...

I my love Southern Living! And I don't even live in the South!

Katie@The Baby Factory said...

ooooh my. that looks ridiculous.
Amazing. but ridiculous.
I think Southern Living may have a leg up on Midwest Living.

Rachel @ Future Pastor's Wife said...

I literally laughed out loud when I saw the article on homemade napkin rings. I was like, "Are they kidding? Obviously whoever wrote this doesn't have children."

But - if I didn't have a kid and had money and time on my hands, the napkin rings would be awesome.

Lois Lane II said...

I feel your pain. I want to be so crafty and a good housewife, but...I work. And I go to school. And there are a million other things that must be done -- and every other wife has to deal with a million other things, too. So when do we have time to make cakes that take 3 hours or napkin rings that will take another 3? Sheesh. ;)

Tante D's better half said...

I was introduced to Southern Living when I got the 2002 Christmas With Southern Living book as a wedding gift. I have made the New Orleans Double-Chocolate Christmas Praline-Fudge Cake every year since. It is phenomenal. 3-layer Chocolate cake from scratch, chocolate ganache filling and frosting and praline that you pour over the top of the cake and let harden. It is incredible. Take like all day to bake, but it's worth it.

Cathy said...

So funny, but alas, so true!

thedomesticfringe said...

I do the same thing, except with Country Living Magazine. I love looking at their homes and lusting after their perfectly set tables. I just burned a giant patch of paint of the top of my kitchen table. It looks beyond terrible. I'll need a centerpiece that large just to cover my mess!

That cake does look amazing!

The Hat Chick said...

I'm getting Southern Living again now too (especially since it's cousin, Southern Accents, went bellyup). We can dream a dream about homemade napkin rings. Maybe when the kids are in college, we can make them and sell them to help pay for tuition.