Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I've been called worse.

The one thing I detest about this time of year is the fair.

At the end of every school year, the local university stadium parking lot is turned into the Cajun Heartland State Fair.

Hate. It.

I have actually not been in about 5 years.

The years I went before were only out of the possible guilt of being a bad mommy for not ever taking my kids to experience the fair.

I'm so over that.

We drove by the area that is being prepared for this event recently and the girls always talk about how they want to go. I would try to not drive near the area and pretend that this type of thing doesn't exist, but it just happens to be the road we must take to get the girls to school.

I have obviously influenced K Belle. When La Petite Belle asked about going again this year, I didn't even have to respond. K Belle said, "We don't go because of the germs." I pipe in, "and the filth, and the disease, and the grossness."

For those of you who still think I'm being a bad mother, just know we frequent amusement parks ... REAL amusement parks ... as in Disney World, Dolly Wood, Six Flags, but not fairs. If I'm going to dish out $100 or more in one night, I'd rather enjoy my experience and not have to feel like I need a shower after.

So, when the girls were with my mom this past weekend, and they were talking about the fair, and my mother was saying we should go, La Petite Belle tells my mother that I won't take them because of the germs.

My mom then proceeds to tell them I'm a germaphobe. 

As La Petite Belle is relaying this story back to me, she says that Nana called me a "germaholic." So, there it is.

We won't be going to the fair not only because I'm a "germaholic," but because

A - yes, the germs ... disease ... filth ... dirtiness of rides ... swine flu ain't nothin' compared to some of the stuff you can get there
B - the ridiculous cost of tickets to ride spinning bears

C - the harassment from carnies

D - the rigged games that you never win

E - the Dollar Store prizes that you never win

F - the inappropriate behavior of most of the people that attend the fair

G - the nausea and bloating you receive after eating funnel cakes, roasted corn, candy apples, cotton candy, and giant corn dogs (although this would probably be the only reason I would go to the fair)

H - the variety of food that can be put on a stick

I - no one really needs an airbrushed t-shirt with a dolphin or Garfield on it

J - no one really needs a temporary tattoo of a snake or the saying "One Hot Mama"

K - the ride where I almost crushed my children and traumatized La Petite Belle
L - still not sure about carnies and if they're the best influence on my children
Call me a germaholic. I don't care. But, we will not be going to the fair. (Yes, that was a rhyme.)


RachelQ said...

I am so totally with you..you can add the horrible crowds to my reason for not going......and the parking...

H-Mama said...

girrrrl... we drove right past a festival/carnival yesterday.

the only thing i see different? what would be so wrong in putting a tattoo of 'one h-mama' across the arm, eh? joke.

i, too, am a germaholic. i confess.

sara said...

I am so with you on this!!! We have a big festival coming this weekend. It is $25 just to get in....that is $125 to take my whole family and doesn't include the food, etc.

I think I would much rather go to six flags!!!

Windy said...

Funny! I used to go to the fair every year as a kid, but now I feel the same way, and my kids have never been!

bwallace said...

I think your alphabetical points are right on, for the most part.

However, I think the carnies can serve as a good motivation for your girls to stay in school and brush their teeth.

thedomesticfringe said...

I've gotta say that I just took my kids to a fair on Mother's day. It wasn't bad...really.

In Maine, summer is fair time. It's really family friendly. Not too much of a freak show. Just carry the anti-bacterial squirt stuff. That makes everything good. ;-)


Jeanette said...

I'm with ya! EEeeeeewwwww!

I wouldn't even eat the food. It just screams food poisoning. Combine that with the germs and the need for a shower and you have yourself one nasty weekend.

Guess I'm a germaholic too.....

Lois Lane II said...

I SO agree with you. And it's not just the carnies. I dunno why, but a majority of the people who attended the fair in my hometown were...ewwwww...

The Wixom Zoo said...

I'd have to agree. Although, I don't think I've seen carnies that are quite that scary before! LOL!!!

Nicole Street said...

Oh my...I was thinking about this same exact thing yesterday when I passed near the fair grounds. I detest the fair and we refuse to go.

Mimi said...

I agree. The crowds are awful, there are drunks everywhere you look -since our city allows beer and wine sales, the lines are long, it's filthy and the rides and games for the kids are outrageous. My kids hate them too.
You're just a good germaholic mom!

Sara@i.Sass said...

Oh man that was a good laugh!
I wish you could come up for our State Fair. Yes, everything is on a stick, including Mac and cheese.
And we do have crazy carnies. But We stay away from that and hang out in the "northwoods" Where they do lumberjack stuff, they have a pet center where you can learn about breeds of dogs or watch a cat get "fiwed" live. There is the birthing barn, where you can see cows, pigs and horses give birth, live. Then you can go out and get yourself a pork chop on a stick, grilled corn the cob, fried cheese curds and Sweet Martha's cookies. Ohh and don't forget the pickle chips.
Ok, I realize I'm being obnoxious. We have a system, that's been in place for years. We eat the same FEW things, visit the same few exibits and eat our lunch in the car like a pinic. Then we head back in to go through the arts and crafts building and see the tractors. It gives us something fun to do with the kids, and I totally get the germ thing, TRUST me I get. I carry a whole backpack stuffed with sanitizer and wipes and water and band-aids. But you fair sounds, well, icky. But if you ever make it up here...The Minnesota state fair is really a good time.

Joan said...

We took the kids to the LA Renaissance Festival in Hammond. It's a once in a lifetime kind of thing, cause you will only want to go once in your lifetime.

But it was kinda fun.


"Rachel" said...

I agree with you. I like all your pics of the carnies, though! :)

McElroy Family Happenings said...

Fairs are gross. The rides are rickety. The smells are noxious. The funnel cakes, however, are divine.

Tammy said...

I am with you. My kids have never been to a fair and somebody else would have to take them. My kids have never asked to go....thankfully.

And the only reason I would go would be for the food!

The Hat Chick said...

I love funnel cakes. I will go to the Annual County Fair, but not the one set up in the mall parking lot....ick!

Lily said...

You forgot something--- the port-a-potties. Ick. There's reason right there NOT to go to the fair.

Lula! said...

I could have written every word of this...I LOATHE the fair. Seriously...it's like the plague around here.

I'm a mean mama, too...cause my kids have NEVER been to our local fair. Ew...it's just all kinds of wrong. And smelly. Nasty. Germy. Pervy, Scary. Skanky.

Daiquiri said...

Where on EARTH did you get those pictures?!





Good grief - they look like they're straight out of the Star Wars bar scene! It's rude, but I gotta say it...she makes that chicken look GOOD!

Brandi said...

I'm so with you!!! Thankfully we live in Orlando, so my kids will easily ditch the fair since we get to go to Sea World so often instead!

Fairs are NASTY!!!