Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Did my daughter just call me fat and "old school"?

La Petite Belle and I were looking through her scrapbooks and pictures yesterday.

We looked at her ultrasound pictures.
We looked at her newborn pictures.
We looked at the picture of K Belle looking at her for the first time, when she said, "She doesn't have curly hair."
We looked at her bath pictures to which La Petite Belle said, "Why did you put those in there? I had such a big, fat belly."
We looked at the pictures of me holding her after her birth to which she said, "No offense, Mommy, but you don't look so good and your clothes are so old school. Look at how big your tummy is."

I said, "Umm ... excuse me. I just gave birth to you. I pushed for 2 hours to get your 7-pound body out of my body. I was tired. Sorry, I didn't look that great."

In fact, we got to see a lot of was how huge I was after I had La Petite Belle. Ginormous. For the entire first two years of her life, I was overweight. 

It's funny because, at that time, I didn't see myself as that overweight, but I was. I was 3-4 sizes bigger than I am now. What a difference those few sizes make. (And, in my defense, I had a whole year of thyroid issues that are too lengthy to get into, but suffice it to say, doctors scared me to death. The word, "cancer," was even thrown out at one point. Geez. Thank God for His total and complete healing and a healthy thyroid.)

I'm still constantly fighting this weight thing.

It's an everyday battle that I will never give up.

Will I be an exercise freak? No.

Will I eat ice cream? Yes.

The truth is that we all know what to do to keep our bodies healthy.

It all comes down to the choices we make.

There are days that I honestly don't care and there are days that I want to beat myself up over eating a bite-size Twix bar (Honestly, bite-size is just a tease. You're just going to eat more if they're bite-size, so you might as well just get the whole candy bar.)

But, I will not give up. Ever.

I'm hoping to finally be at my goal weight and be in the best shape ever before I'm 40. We'll see how that goes.

And, no, I will not post pictures. I'm thinking of actually burning them.


thedomesticfringe said...

Your daughter's comments made me laugh. I was pretty big for a few years after having my kids too. Sometimes life just happens and it takes hard work to get things in balance. I had a bad thyroid issue too...funny, that probably happens to lots of women. I actually still have the problem, but drugs make things better...somewhat anyway. :-)

Best wishes on your question to be in your best shape ever by 40. That's a great goal. You'll make it!!

Darla said...

i understand the daily battle far too well. one of these days i will have victory over this, it just remains a huge struggle for now. i'm glad to hear that you have had success.

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

Dang it, I want pictures! :)

Same issues here. Same deal. You're not alone. :)

sara said...

that's my goal too...but before I'm 50! you go girl for starting young. you will be so happy you did!!!

H-Mama said...

Kids have a way with words, don't they?

After my second baby was born, I'll never forget when my LC walked in my room (seeing me for the first time) said, "Oh, this is not our first baby, is it?" She was referring to the size of my belly. Under the influence of hormones, I was tempted to show her the door... by force.

Joan said...

I won't ever give up either. I'm not a fanatic or anything, but I want to be as healthy as I can.

I can tell you from experience after 40 it get really difficult.


"Rachel" said...

Don't burn them. You'll like having them as a reminder one day when you are in your 40s and are smaller than you were in your 20s & 30s.

I get caught in the choices all the time. How frustrating.

And you are so right about the bite-size. What evil, torturous person invented those. Don't they know women have no willpower over chocolate???

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

IN this we are TOTALLY the same. After my first birth and delivery with my first child... I was "bigger" than I am now.

I just know with me... I have make an effort everyday. Sure some days I'll throw caution to the wind, but most days I need to keep it in check... that's just my genetics!

Sara@i.Sass said...

We all change, for good and for bad.
I am the heaviest I've EVER been in my life. I was one of those stick skinny girls that would have been told to eat a sandwich. I couldn't help it, I did eat. Fast forward 20 years and now I'm telling myself to eat a salad! ha haha.
My body CHANGED after I had children. I mean everything changed. I went on bc pills, still got pregnant, had my second two years after the first when I barely lost the weight...argh. It's been a battle ever since.
I am so emotional, and I eat when I'm stressed. I never gave it much thought, until recently. Now I try to watch my portion size and I started walking daily. I feel better mentally, I'm hoping the clouds disappear and I can start being me again. I went off BC pills for good, I think those had a LOT to do with my weight and mind set. Stupid hormones.

Birdie said...

ahh kids and their brutal viewpoints *L* Congrats on your never give up attitude. I think that's what it takes. I'm wondering though, if everyone really knows what they should do. I think a lot of people eat/drink more than they realize and they don't check labels or know how many fat grams & calories (which turn to fat if not used) they're supposed to have in a given day.
You can eat a small handful of something with oodles of fat and maybe not realize that you've eaten (or drank) a half day's worth of fat! My mom always struggles with weight and she watches calories alone but eats more than she realizes. You can burn calories breathing but you aint gonna burn a fat gram just breathing *L* That's how I've stayed thin. I try to eat fruits & veggies and I ALWAYS check every food label. Every one. I might have a lot of anxiety if I didn't! Also I don't exceed my daily fat grams in general yet I have a swiss cake roll (Mrs Freshley's brand) every day. I eat anything I want when we go out to eat though otherwise what's the point? If my jeans feel tight, I know I need to cut back.

You inspired me to exercise though cause my toned-ness isn't all that toned if ya know what I'm sayin'... I went out after Mom's Day & bought this 10 Minute Pilates DVD with the straps at Wal-mart for $14 - it kicks my butt! The bands are fun too and really add resistance.
Rock on.

Rach@In His Hands said...

You're not along, MB! I didn't give birth to Josiah and I've gained weight just in this wait for him!! My goal is to get these last few pounds off in the next 2 months before he comes home.

We can do it!

TCKK said...

Ok. Go ahead and make me feel guilty. I guess I better get my rear in gear and lose this weight!! lol

BaronessBlack said...

Still, DON'T burn the pictures!
I'm at my heaviest right now, and -yes, I'm working on it! But I still like my body a lot more than I did when I was slim at 18, because I appreciate how it grew and nurtured my children.
Treasure ALL the photos and appreciate the great thing that you did, even if your kids don't!

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Oh, goodness. I can just hear Savannah saying that exact same thing to me a few years down the road when we're looking back at pics.

I hear you girl - we all struggle with this. I get so sick of it sometimes. But I'm really striving to have a healthy image of myself, while still working hard to get rid of this weight. I know my value doesn't depend on what I weigh, but I know that I'll feel a lot better to get back down to my normal size.