Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Tattoo Advice

This is totally my opinion. Take no offense to what I'm about to say.

I just don't get tattoos.

I just don't get people's desires to get tattoos.

Even more, I just don't get beautiful women's desires to get tattoos.

For instance ... Megan Joy from American Idol:
As you can see, she is a very beautiful girl. Yet, I find myself distracted from her beauty because of the ginormous arm tattoo she's sporting. Beau says, "Yeah, she's beautiful. She'd be even prettier if she cut off her right arm." Yeah, he's mean.

Another woman's tattoos that distract me and ruin her look for me:
Here they all are:
Why would anyone want such a visible tattoo? What statement are they trying to make? What first impression are they trying to make?

And, yes, you may say ... "they don't care." But, I think they do. It's a statement, whether they admit it or not.

So, if you have to make a statement and really want to get a tattoo (which I only contemplate when I'm feeling naughty ... should say something about that statement people are trying to make ... hmm ...), here's my advice.

(And, you do realize this is painful, right? It hurts. Seriously ... needles, ya'll.)

Besides that, here you go:
1. Get something small.
2. Put it somewhere where no one can see it.
3. Make it pretty.

I seriously could find no real tattoos that I like, but I found tons of horrendous tattoos. 

But, if someone was pointing a gun to my head and forcing me to get a tattoo, I'd get this:
But, only if I could get the firm, stretch-mark-free stomach too. Otherwise, no, nothing for me.

Now, please don't misunderstand me, I know lots of beautiful women with tattoos, but they followed my tattoo rules. (Example ... my friend, Soliloquy just got one ... a total rule-follower.)

So, remember these rules the next time you're at the tattoo parlor. And also remember, everyone's entitled to their own opinion, whether you're a tattoo-lover or hater. (Notice, I'm not even mentioning what the Bible says about it because that's a whole other debate. Too much debate on this blog this week.)

And, if you've already done the deed, there's always this (WARNING: This video contains one bleeped-out word and is not appropriate for children.):


TCKK said...

I always wonder what will they look like when they're 75 and wrinkled or even when they're pregnant. All the sudden that pretty little butterfly will look like a big old bat! lol

JenT said...

I had to laugh at TCKK's comment. I have two that I got while in college. I followed the rules though. My dh is the only one who sees them...oh yeah and my midwife. I also got them in color. Why do so many people use just black? I actually regret getting them. And you know, it's what the Bible says about them that makes me regret them. I know I could get laser surgery and get rid of them, but I don't have the money. *sigh* The youthful follies we regret later.

Mike, Brie and The Three said...

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have 5 tattoos. 3 can be seen because one is on my ankle, a sea turtle and the other is on the top of my other foot and up my calf.

I love tattoos but I am also glad they can be hidden if needed.(the other 2 are on my back)

I often wonder what they will look like when I am old and think about removing one as well. I got it in my Harley riding days!

Thanks for the good laugh this morning with the video!

thedomesticfringe said...

lol I like it when the tatoo morphed with age.

None for me, thank you. FringeMan's got quite the scene on one arm. Thankfully it's up near the shoulder and is covered when he's in a shirt.


RachelQ said...

I totally agree with you!!!

Rachel said...

I agree with Beau, chop off her arm (and sew it up) and she'd be much more beautiful. I don't really get tats either (though my SIL has one on the small of her back that's actually kinda pretty) but I DEFINITELY don't get "sleeve tats" on women.

H-Mama said...

that's hilarious! i wonder if they can tatoo pregnacy stretchmarks to look like young skin?! now THAT might tempt me! just keepin' it real! :)

The Hat Chick said...

Our teenage neighbor explains to our peeps why she doesn't get tatoos in this way;
"Remember when you were 3 and liked to watch Dora? What if you had it tatooed on your arm? Now that you are a fifth grader, do you still like Dora?"

Their little eyes lit up with understanding. I like my neighbor.

Donnetta said...

I was thinking the same thing about Megan Joy last night. Her tats look ridiculous. In addition to cutting off her arm, last night I wanted to tear out her vocal cords. YOWZER!!!

bwallace said...

I've loved that clip since it first came on SNL.

One tatt here for me. family crest, upper arm, since copied by my brothers and Dad. But i'm far from a beautiful woman.

And be careful. If you don't watch it a butterfly can transfrom into a pterodactyl over time.

Lois Lane II said...

My ex-boyfriend and I used to talk about ppl with tatoos and how that little ladybug on a girl's hip might grow REALLY big over the years. I don't like them, and a lot of that stems from my fear of needles.

Sara@i.Sass said...

What Beau said, that sounds like something my Hubby would say too.
We were talking one day when he said "I don't get tattoos. Why do people want to mark up their body?"
I nearly choked, see he didn't know I had one at this point. I asked him why he was so againest them, what about tasteful ones...
It took me quite a while to tell him I had one.
Mine is on my lower middle back and it's the size of a fifty cent piece. I did it in my early 20's it was a birthday present from a friend. We did it together as a bonding experience. It hurt like hell and I'd NEVER do it again. But I also don't regret it. My kids will touch it and ask why I have it and then run off and look at their backs...and I'll say Mommy choose to get it and it really really hurt.
Hubby by the way turned out to find it sexy, mostly because I have to be naked for you to see it and he's the only man, other then my Dr. and the guy who gave me my epi to see it.

Gill said...

hehe i am coming out here - i have 2 on my left shouder, a little devil with my name above it, i got it when i was 18 (my brother bought me it and i know i'll never lose my 18 gift from hm!) and the second? Well i got that as an anniversary present. In the small of my back. With my husbands name on it..why? Because he came home from Iraq on the day of our 8th wedding anniversary it seemed like the right thing to do. I have no regrets and i love when my hubby traces them with his fingers ;) I wont have any more though..i think i stuck to the rules :) Great post.x

Rachel @ Unexpected Blessings said...

The other night at work I saw a guy with a tattoo of a passage of words on his forarm. I started reading it and it had incorrect grammar! It something like, "That thee hath bestowed." Shouldn't that be "That thou hath bestowed?" Exhibit #1054 why not to get a tattoo!

My husband wants to get his wedding ring tattooed on his finger. He often works on cars and has to take off his ring and has left it in some strange places. Then he could keep his real one in the drawer for special occasions. I think it would be very painful but if he wants to do it I am fine with that. Just as long as he does not get a ring of thorns to symbolize our eternal love. :)

Rach@In His Hands said...

You took the words right out of my mouth, MB.

That video was SO funny.

Joan said...

I agree with you...
I could never get one.

I have issues with blood, germs, and needles.

I also like to change my mind about everything. Can't do that with a tattoo.

Also wanted to ask you if you are going to the Wonder Conference at Willow Creek in June?


The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...


No,not going to the conference, but would love to. We went to a conference there 2 years ago and absolutely loved it.

rebel said...

Funny video.
I don't get the tattoo thing either.
At my last job I worked at a bank and just about all the young girls who worked there had the same tattoo, the one they call the 'tramp stamp' (not my name for their tattoo, I don't think a woman is a tramp just because they get a tatto just above their crack).


Every time they would squat down to get somethin' out of one of the cabinet's for a customer, they would also give them a view of their special tattoo. Very charming. Sorry, I just don't get it.
I've seen old men with tattoo's and it's not a pretty site. What do these women think their tattoos are gonna look like when they're 60years old?
I'm not puttin' people down who get tattoo's, I just don't understand the fashion statement.

Tante D's better half said...

I have one on my hip that I got when I was 15...b/c I was crazy and not well supervised. Plus, it's a "jailhouse tatoo" as Doug likes to call it. My best friend and I did it ourselves with a needle and indian ink. (She got the matching one on her, of course!) Now it has a stretch mark running through it. I totally don't even think about it except when Audrey sees it and says "that's Mommy's elbow (bo-bo)" or when I'm at the Ob-gyn or something and the doctor or nurse looks at me with this mischevious little smile and says "what's that?" Pretty embarassing at that point.

Tammy said...

I, personally, will never have a tattoo. There is nothing charming about them and what if I change my mind (I am female).

As a nurse, just when I think I have seen it all.....NOTHING amazes me anymore. Had a patient recently with a tattoo that required tilting one's head to the side....followed immediately by a LOUD gasp, which lead to a "OH MY WORD". Yep it was X-rated.

BaronessBlack said...

I agree with you! But having said that, I do have a tattoo. I have a small lizard on my left breast. If I wear a plunging neckline, I can show it off without being indecent. But these days, no-one but my husband sees it.
My sister has a rose similar to the butterfly in your picture. I would advise anyone getting a tattoo to have it somewhere where they can show it off when they want to, and hide it easily when they want to.
We're all getting older!

Liz said...

I don't get the whole tattoo thing either. And is it just me, or are there a lot more young women getting them these days than say, 10 years ago. Either that, or I've been living under a rock. Personally, tattoos send a message to me, but you've already voiced most of my thoughts so I'll leave it there.

Lily said...

I have a mermaid (small) on my back. Usually no one but Spouse sees it, except when I wear a bathing suit. To be honest, I was having a midlife crisis and in my desperate need to be young, I got a tattoo. I forget she is even there because she's not somewhere that I see often.

I wish I could have it removed, but right now that is not a financial priority. It's kindof embarrassing, particularly the first time I chaperoned a youth trip where there was swimming involved. We'd been at this church for just over two weeks at that point, and it was interesting to hear "The preacher's wife's got a tattoo!" being whispered all around me. LOL

Debra said...

Oh my goodness, I had to watch the tattoo morphing about 3 times. That was so gross and funny at the same time! I've often wondered what that would look like over time, once gravity takes a hold, on our bodies. :o) said...

from my psych. / social work background : people that get multiple tattoos and piercings generally have loads of inner pain that enjoy the attention/ outer pain which distracts from the inner pain that they cannot get rid of. I personally LIKE a tattoo or two , but don't have any myself. I would like to get one before I am 50 LOL and love the video! you rock BELLE!