Friday, March 27, 2009

It's Not About Me

I am so consumed with myself ... MY thoughts, MY emotions, things that happen to ME.

When really, it's not about me.

Nothing is about me.

I am such a small piece in this giant puzzle called "God's plan for the world." I am a tiny part to His master plan.

So, when life happens to me, I just need to deal with it. Get over it. Take a look at the big picture. Trust in God's Word.

Stop looking at every circumstance, even though it affects me, being about me. Make sense?

So what? You're self-esteem got crushed. Your feelings got hurt. Oh, well. Know who you are in Christ, girl! Don't let anything else but that define who you are.

And, when you know that ... I mean, really KNOW that ... you won't care. Stop caring. Know that God is in control, even over the small stuff.

I want to not care. I try to not care ... really I do. But, don't tell me how to feel or try to make light of my feelings and say they're silly. I can't help the way I feel. The question is: What will I do with those feelings, whether they're valid or not?

Will I trust in God? Will I run to God, like David did? Will I run away from God and stuff those feelings? Will I let those feelings control the choices I make? 

As you can see, I'm searching for some answers here ... confirmations.

I need a definite Word from the Lord that I can stand on. I always think that God won't answer me or give me a good, solid "yes" or "no" because I'm so ugly inside. My heart and my mind are in a constant battle. If hearing from God depends on me, I'm in serious trouble.

Then, I read where, after finally becoming king of Israel, David takes on more wives. MORE WIVES. He's in blatant sin ... living in sin, yet he has the favor of God in every battle. God is with him. God is flat-out speaking to him and giving him direction. And David's in sin.

So, here I am, Lord, asking for direction, ugly heart and all. Asking for favor, ugly heart and all. Asking for wisdom, ugly heart and all.

Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.

And, help me to remember ... It's not about me, it's about You. Help me to hear Your voice and know what piece of the puzzle I'm supposed to be.

17 Comments:

Rach@In His Hands said...

Praying this with you today, MB.

thedomesticfringe said...

Wow. I don't think I have words today.

-FringeGirl

Rachel said...

You hit the nail on the head with your point about feelings: whether they are wrong or right they are there and shouldn't be marginalized. You (WE!) just have to always line up our feelings with the Word of God. (This is just an example) If you feel insecure and unloved (which can happen often dealing with relationships with fallen humans), go to the Word and bask in how He cares about you. That doesn't mean you aren't really having problems with people or feeling let down about human relationships, but it will build you up remembering where you REALLY stand before your Father.

And you have to remember, what you see as ugly Jesus already saw and took care of. You are no longer ugly in God's eyes. He bathed you in His blood so that you can come and stand before Him as a righteous woman! Since you're talking about David, go through the Psalms and read all the places where he talks about a righteous person. Then drill it into your mind that that person is YOU because JESUS made you that way! Are you still going to struggle with sin and even succumb to temptation sometimes? Of course! Paul did (cf. Rom 7) and wrote about it to be an example to us. But that doesn't change your position before God. You are still righteous. You have been justified by His blood and NOTHING can change that! Christians get into mental & emotional trouble when they confuse sanctification with justification (myself included). The process of sanctification and our growing closer to God and more like Jesus is an ongoing transition that will continue till the day we die.

God hears your prayers and He will answer you in His time. He's not troubled by your ugly heart because He's already taken care of it for you (and me... and so many others...). If you have unconfessed sin, by all means confess it so you can come before God with nothing to "hide" and won't have a hindrance in your walk with Him, but just know that His Word says you are justified and therefore righteous before His eyes. The fact that you are so hungry for His instruction and seeking His kingdom is thrilling Him to no end. :)

Can't wait to see you next weekend!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure many of readers feel as I do...that you are writing about me when you post your personal struggles in your blog. I am now in my mid-30s and still struggle with my heart, my mouth, my emotions. My feelings and emotions too often control my actions (negatively) and then the anguish I feel for several weeks thereafter is unbearable. That's where I've been for the last couple of weeks.

Know that other people are struggling, too, and thanks for sharing with us all.

Here's hoping you find the confirmations you need.

God Bless,
lvm

H-Mama said...

just wanted to give my new friend a (((((((hug)))))))

Brandi said...

I'm just going to say, Amen, Amen, Amen!!! I'm with you girl. . .in fact, my next post will be about David and what I'm learning/struggling through with him!

Love,
Brandi

Debra said...

VERY WELL SAID! Oh boy, do I get where you're comin' from! It IS all about him, but how many times do I make it all about me? Shame on me and thanks for the conviction today! I LOVE HOW REAL YOU ARE and I love reading your posts. Blessings to you, Debra

TCKK said...

I don't think there's anything more to say, except Amen and help us Lord!

jennifer said...

i'm feeling you too! thanks for being honest. it's good to hear that someone else struggles with the same battles i face.

thedomesticfringe said...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm hosting a GIVE-AWAY today!

Enter by midnight SUNDAY to WIN.

-FringeGirl

Jen said...

Bless your heart, from one tiny speck in the universe to another.

You are anything but ugly, and what sin? Your sin has been removed from you as far as the east is from the west. You are gorgeous.

And here's Psalm 37:5-6 (The Message) just for you today, in this struggle:

Open up before God, keep nothing back; He'll do whatever needs to be done: He'll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon.

xoxox

Debra said...

Your post made me think of the words to one of my favorite songs and so I want to share it with you. I just posted the video on my blog if you'd like to check it out. You may have already heard it before, but if not, I hope it is an encouragement to you. :)

Daiquiri said...

Oh, YEAH.

I'm with ya, girl.

Sometimes my heart and head gets so messed up and ugly and confused and...lost. The only prayer I can manage is "Lord, are you there? Help!"

One of my favorite ways to better hear the Lord's voice is to do just as the early church did...every time they had something going on or something to decide on, it seems that they "fasted and prayed". It's amazing how a fast can clear your head and really drive home the "it's about you and not me" idea.

Peace, sister.

PS. I just adore your faith filled posts - if ever you would like to link up to Seek The Lord Sunday, I'd be thrilled to have your participation :)

Cassandra @ Tripping Around The Sun said...

Ps.8:2 says that in the mouth of babies...nursing infants...He has perfected praise...PERFECTED PRAISE! but what does a baby do with his mouth but cry? Cries for food. Cries for warmth. Cries for attention.

All cries to have needs met...by the one(s)who can meet them...

because the baby is DEPENDENT...

When we cry out with hearts full of dependance on Him...and only Him...it is perfected praise...

The world we live in tells us that we should strive to get our act together...be strong...be able. Need no one. be INdependent.

So backward from what God's kingdom desires...

The truest, deepest praise we can give to God is when we lift our eyes to Him and see and acknowledge our need for Him...not just to save us...but every day of our lives from then on...

ugly hearts and all....

may He speak to you what you need to hear...

blessed by your honest observations...keep writing...

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

Wow, I feel like I am right there so often - almost constantly. That crazy battle. That striving to hold on to what we KNOW rather than change with how we FEEL. Ughh. I am dealing with that big time right now.
There is a situation in my life right now that has just crushed me - self esteem wise - and I am praying that God will help me to be firm and staedy in who I am in Him.
Thanks for this!

Lindsay said...

This is a GREAT post! Great words that were just what I needed to read.

May you continue to be a blessing!

Headless Mom said...

Yes! Just like every one before me said-we're there, too. Excellent post!