Monday, January 26, 2009

The Night I Traumatized My Child

Last night, as I'm laying with La Petite Belle a while in her bed, just cuddling and talking, she begins to kiss a little blanket she sleeps with every night. The blanket is from her Mama Lou's (Beau's mom) house. Mama Lou left this world for heaven about two years ago.

La Petite Belle says she kisses that blanket every night for Mama Lou.

I said, "Baby, Mama Lou is in heaven. She served God from the time she was a teenager until she died at 79 years old. I hope and pray that you will serve God like she did."

La Petite Belle: "I will, Mama. Did you always serve God from the time you were young?"

(Sirens start to go off in my head) ALERT! ALERT! DEEP DISCUSSION ABOUT TO HAPPEN! DON'T BLOW IT, MAMA! (I take a deep breath.) Here goes nothin'.

Me: "Well, baby, Mama didn't really start to serve God until she was 21."

(This is the start to a great heart-warming, wonderful moment where Mother and child will open up their hearts to one another. Mama will share about how Jesus radically changed her life and child will be touched and moved by such a testimony.)

La Petite Belle: "Did you drink?"

Huh? Did my 8-year-old just ask me if I ever drank alcohol before?

Me: "Yes, baby. I have had a drink before."

La Petite Belle: (very dramatically) "WHAT? You drank? My own mother drank." (sighs erupt)

Me: "Baby, listen ... drinking a glass of wine or some other type of drink is not sin. It's when you drink too much. The Bible says to not be drunk with wine. It's not healthy to drink a lot of alcohol and it's also very dangerous for people to drink too much for their own safety and the safety of others. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

(She really didn't. I could really tell I sank a little bit on her list of respected people.)

Beau walks in and I proceed to tell him about our discussion. She then asks Beau the same question and is then equally appalled at his answer that he had drunk beer before ... and, by the way, it's always beer that she talks about. We don't drink beer or buy beer. (Children's Church has made quite an impression on her in this area. Remember this post about the same subject.)

Beau reiterates the same things I had just told her.

Along with that same explanation, he tells her that we have some alcohol in the house that we use to cook with and that we put a can of beer in the bratwurst she loves to eat.

She begins to freak out.

La Petite Belle: (starts to cry) "You mean, I drank beer?"

Beau: "No, baby, the alcohol cooks out of it. It's just the flavoring that stays in the food. The spaghetti sauce you like so much has wine in it.

La Petite Belle: (louder crying) "I drank beer?"

Beau and Me: "No, you didn't drink beer. It was just used in cooking. The alcohol cooks out. Lots of people use alcohol in cooking. It's OK. You didn't drink beer. And don't go tell anyone, you drank beer because it would be illegal for you to drink beer and Mommy and Daddy could go to jail if we would have ever given you beer."

La Petite Belle: (even louder crying) "I don't want you to go to jail." (louder crying)

Beau and Me: "We're not going to jail. We're trying to make you see that you didn't drink beer and it would be wrong for any parent to give their children alcohol."

La Petite Belle: (cried for a while, Mama hugged, and the cries kinda turned into giggles)

Me: "Now, there will be times when you're a teenager, when people will try to get you  to do things that are wrong, like drink beer and other things."

La Petite Belle: "Mama, when I throw a party with your permission, of course, and somebody shows up with beer, I'm gonna say, 'Lose the beer.'"

I guess some good did come out of this moment.


sara said...

that is so funny!!! I had a very similar discussion with my daughter when she was that age....they are so black and white sometimes!!!

Julie @ blessedwithfive said...

Love your post . . . I use beer in chili - it is awesome and a family favorite.

Love the comments from your baby girl - she is being brought up right!

Rach@In His Hands said...

Oh, what a sweet girl...I'm with her on the beer, just gross!
But a glass of wine...that's a different story. :-)

Aspiemom said...

What a discussion and what a riot!

You are raising her well!

Rachel said...

I applaud you for trying to explain Romans 14 to her at such a young age. :)

Did you get my FB message?

RachelQ said...

What a hoot!! At least you didn't get asked the "S" question......

fransmomma said...

oh my goodness, this is great! i love these kinds of conversations. i go back and forth with my 4-year-old constantly about the most random things. they're such deep thinkers. thanks for making me laugh today! :)

Patrice said...

Trying to all sensitive, but, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! So funny!!

Patrice said...

Trying to all sensitive, but, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! So funny!!

Huse Yo Mama said...

Oh my gosh, I bet that was so hilarious and awkward at the same time! Good way to think on your feet, though. I probably would have had a lot of "ums" in there.

thedomesticfringe said...

So, so, so funny! I just love kids. My son cannot reconcile the fact that I will cook with wine. He just thinks it's terrible no matter what.

At least she's gonna party with your permission and tell them to "lose the beer". That's the best!


jennifer said...

I don't want to scare you or anything?

But I love you.

THANK YOU for this post and for saying to YOUR daughter what I have been saying to MY (Diva) daughter. I feel like I am saying the right thing now.

I don't want her piety (which is really SO good, please dont get me wrong) to morphe over into judgement of others. I feel like I am walking a tight rope and I dont drink!! And she is as sensitive about alcohol as LaPetite Belle.

Mothering can be tough!

Lois Lane II said...

Oh my gosh, this made me laugh so hard!! I would have been between "Oh my gosh, I'm losing control" to "This is the funniest thing ever"! She's off to a good start, though! Glad she'll tell them to "lose the beer!" LOL

Tammy said...

LOL! Now if she will just remember that the rest of her life. :-) I think she will.

Soliloquy said...

Talk about downward spiral!

There are worse ways to traumatize your child, I guess.

Trying to screw up the courage to post that story on my own blog. (Pun intended.)

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

I was howling half way through that story! Drama drama drama.

12-arrows said...

I am sorry, I am sure I am not supposed to be laughing but that was just so stinkin' cute. I just love the minds of kids, how simple everything is and at times, how literal they are. What a precious story, so glad you blogged it so you will have it saved forever!

Stephanie said...

Sha! This is so hilarious! I shared it with Mrs. Stefanie and Mr. Adam. They laughed so hard! It's a good thing that KJAM has impacted her and she knows that those things are bad...

And it turned into a nice little moment you'll always remember...haha

TCKK said...

That is so funny, but so sweet too!

Liz said...

Somehow I missed this post back in January, but it is hilarious. Maybe not so much for you at the moment when you had intended to have a nice heart-to-heart with your daughter. It's just really funny to read it... after the fact, you know. My favorite part is where you started telling her that you could go to jail for giving your children alcohol, and she freaks out even more.