Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Notes to Self and Lessons Learned

1. Don't ever, ever, ever mention that you like anything that any of the Democrats said at the Democratic National Convention to your pastor, even just to get him riled up. GO MCCAIN!

2. Don't mention politics on your blog.

3. Don't put your fork down with food still on the tines, especially with any sort of force, as you may propel your sliced sausage from your red beans and rice into your shirt, falling perfectly into your cleavage, causing your family to laugh hysterically and almost choke on their food.

4. When you are almost choking from laughing with a mouth full of food, don't throw your head back and hit the wall, subsequently causing more laughter, choking, and even, tears (from laughter, not pain).

5. When your boss (ahem, husband) calls you into his office and says "close the door," know that you are either in trouble or you are about to be sexually harassed. Today it was the first one.

6. Don't have the birds and bees talk too soon, because your youngest child will just forget what you said when you try to remind her of it, after another young, unwed cousin gets pregnant (this issue is a whole other post that I'm too tired and drained to write). And she will look at you with a puzzling look when you say the word, "seed" and then you'll just have to start the whole talk over again, in as vague a manner as you can that is appropriate for a seven-year-old to hear.


Tiffany said...

Okay, you are hysterical! I too work with my husband and #5 had me laughing out loud!

Thanks for coming by my blog, you are all entered for the $100!

Tracie said...

Fantastic Life Lessons!!!

I agree..........GO MCCAIN!!

Lula! said...

Huh-sterical. A great list of "don'ts," especially #1. I mentioned that Hillary is looking better these days and my father went bonkers on me. I was all, "Dude--I just said she's looking better, which is a huge achievement for her--I didn't say I liked her!" 'Cause I don't. Not a bit.

Thanks for making me laugh this morning!

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

#5 - Now I'm totally wondering what you did to get in trouble ;)

Becky @ Boys Rule My Life said...

I used to work with my husband. Can totally relate to #5! LOL! :)

blessedwith5 said...

What DID you do??? Inquiring minds want to know.

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

DH and I got a GOOD laugh from #5! (He's run his own business before). Yeah, been in both pairs of those shoes. :-)

Too funny!

jennifer said...

OK, another don't would be..

Don't read Bayou Belle's post about cleavage sausage and sexually harrassing husbands when kids are trying to get to sleep because you will laugh so loud, that you will here a chorus of "What Momma"-s from their bedrooms.

Remember that note to self too!


klcheshire said...

I'm sorry, I didn't see anything you wrote past the word "cleavage." But then, I am a guy...