Friday, April 18, 2008

Stuff Christians Like

I found this blog - Stuff Christians Like, and it totally cracks me up. I don't know if it cracks me up because the writing is so funny or because it is so true. This guy has listed over a hundred things that Christians like, like bald worship leaders, the gradual dislike for Oprah, the five love languages, and the mandatory youth pastor goatee, plus many, many more. Now, they're not all true , because I'm a Christian and I don't like all of these things. But, the one thing I love and cannot live without is this ...

#9 The Tankini
"I'm pretty sure that somewhere in the Old Testament, perhaps in the book of Joel, God says that he does not like bikinis. I mean sure, Jesus hung out with hookers and the lowest of the low, but that was then. These days, the trinity hates bikinis. Enter the tankini. The tankini is kind of what would happen if you cut a one piece in half. It's a tank top on top and a regular bathing suit on the bottom. It's less Victoria's Secret and more Land's End. It was originally created in a church laboratory for youth group trips to the beach. OK, I don't know that for certain. What I do know is that neither of my daughters will be wearing one. Instead they are going to be in snowsuits most of their life. Their nicknames at school will be "girls that wear so many clothes." But that's just me, I'm weird."

I don't think my love of the tankini has anything to do with me being a Christian and everything to do with me hiding my bootylicious booty, among other things. Ya'll I even like the skirt-bottom - the very thing, as a teenager, I said I would never wear. I'm working on getting bathing suit ready for our vacation. I haven't bought my new tankini yet (I do have two others.). Which one do you like?

I think this last one's my favorite. What do you think?


Tracie said...

It's a toss up between the 2nd one and the last one. I like BLACK on the bottom b/c it is more slimming than brown.....not that YOU needt o be worried about that!

Good Luck!

Jodie said...

I've seen that site. It IS funny! And I'm melting down into something I never thought I'd be either. I mean, I drive a mini-van. And I am also a fan of the skirt bottom. Whoda thought?! Not me, that's for sure. Thank you, stretch marks, that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Anyway, my vote would be for the 2nd the last one probably. Although I'm more a fan of the black bottom. That top one is a cute pattern, but you would have your bottom covered only to have your girls totally exposed. I mean come on, don't they get the principle behind the tankini?

Also - because this comment isn't quite long enough, I am trying to get my rss feeder up and I'm a lost goose. Can you help a sista out?

And also also, I got your comment about shopping - I am so so, in a way that I cannot even communicate, SO READY to go shopping! I don't know.... let me see if I can work out an entire day without my children soon. Very soon. Because mama's on the verge of conniption. :)

Jodie said...

that would be second "to" last, not second "the" last.


Sarah said...

I like the 3rd one :) I'm a skirted-tankini momma too...helps hide the cellulite and stretch marks, woo hoo!!

Carlie Faulk said...

Let's see. I like the print on the first one and I'm pretty sure Beau would like that top cut, but I'm with Jodie - the girls would all hang out defeating the purpose.

So I'm going with the third one too. It's really cute and I like the brown.

Now all you need are cute flip flops and the right bag for the beach and you'll be set. :)

Tami said...

I love the tankini but I don't really care for the skirt bottom. But I actually need it because my legs have gotten so fat after all the babies. Oh well, I'll have to go read the other things that Christians like. That is hilarious. My dad is a preacher and just the things that you mentioned make me laugh.

Sharon Brumfield said...

I thought this post was great. I found you on the Laced With Grace blog roll. When I saw the title of your blog I figured you must be from my neck of the woods.
We are located outside New Orleans.
I have only met one other woman from the Louisiana area-she is around the Rustin area.
I love the first picture. :)
Nice meeting you.

Birdie said...

I like the second to last one. The circles all over make her belly look big and I'm sure it's not.
I'm looking for a bikini top & sarong pants and a big beach umbrella...and a book....and sunglasses with both lenses (yeah I wore mint with one missing).
I'm sure you'll be stunning no matter what.