Kids can be mean, but church kids can be the meanest.
That's so sad to say, but so true.
Ugh. Why?
These kids should be different from the world. We all should.
Just recently, my child was in tears over hurtful things said about her. So hurtful that she no longer wants to go to the service she attends. And the crazy thing is that she's one of the most faithful supporters of this ministry and has even brought multiple unsaved friends from her school to this service.
As a mother, it makes me so angry. The teacher in me wants to head over to the church next week with a paddle.
Seriously?
Why are church kids so mean? So non-accepting?
It all boils down to insecurity. We all know that. When people are insecure, they make themselves look good by putting down others, or making others feel bad about themselves, or even mocking others. That's the way it goes.
Geez. Bullying in the church too. Where will it end?
Most of these kids have grown up together in the church. Yet, as they get older, they quickly decide on who will be "cool" to be friends with and who will not. The non-accepting groups that are formed usually force a lot of kids out from the one place where they should feel most accepted.
My kid is a church kid.
My prayer for both of my girls has always been that they would not grow cold to the church because they've spent so much time there. I pray that their hearts always stay tender toward God, the things of God, and people.
I would be horrified if one of my girls was ever a part of gossip or rumors being spread about another person. I would nip that in the bud right away. But, my girl's not the one doing the gossiping but the one being gossiped about. Heartbreaking!
One person's opinion of another is not truth.
All it takes is one kid saying, "I don't like her" or "She's weird" and then it starts.
What a shame.
It's more of a shame for them that they won't get an awesome opportunity to know the person they have a pre-conceived notion about. Shame on them.
Now ... we're working through this and I know she will be stronger for it. She's pretty strong to begin with and typically doesn't let a whole lot bother her. But, this one stings a bit.
I absolutely love who she is and who she's becoming.
K Belle is one talented girl. If you've been with me long enough, you've seen videos of her before playing piano, singing, acting, etc.
Well ... wouldn't you know it! This girl posted a couple of videos of her singing to some friends on Facebook (I'm sure she was thinking I wouldn't see them. Duh.) She knows I'm her biggest fan and hates the gushing over how awesome she is. I can't help it. Geez.
She's just so darn good.
So without further ado ... here's two videos I found.
The first ... playing and singing "The Story," one of my favorite songs. Yes, our piano is incredibly out of tune.
And ... this one is funny to me because she's actually just laying in her bed and watching TV while singing, "The Stand." Actually, we were napping during this so she said she was trying to sing quietly.
At around 6:30 p.m., I carried on a whole conversation with Beau about my plans to lose about ten pounds by Easter. I mentioned that I really needed to set out with a plan soon.
Yeah. I always have plans. Some of them succeed; some ... um ... not so much.
By 8:00 p.m., I was in the kitchen baking a cake.
In my defense, it was simply to eat the batter. (Like that's less calories)
(not saying I didn't eat any cooked cake afterwards, but the point was always the batter)
I always fluctuate with my eating and exercise. Always.
I can go a few months totally faithful to running, eating right, and even lifting a few weights. Then, I'll go the next few months eating junk and maybe going on one run a week.
I tend to lack motivation.
So ... I'm devising a plan. And this plan will be posted.
It's accountability I need.
I figure if I let it all hang out and post about my failures and successes, it will help.
The plan starts soon.
I promise to not disappoint you.
Now ... maybe one more tiny bite of cake won't hurt.
The same thing, day in and day out with only a few switcheroos.
The change comes down to us.
What will we do with today that's an improvement on yesterday?
What will make this day stand out as different?
It's us. It's me.
I hate the fact that we can fight the same battles every day. I know it's not only me.
Today, I'd like to win one of those battles and not have to repeat the fight the next day. Not at all. I'd like a few things to be defeated in my life.
I'd also like to trust, love, and have more compassion (which we've heard all about) today. More than yesterday or the day before.
All those things really boil down to me. Not God. But me. He's given me all the tools I need to accomplish them all. I just have to put them in action.
Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. - Ephesians 5:1-2
I'm learning that nothing comes as a surprise to God.
I'm the first one to stand up for someone whom I believe has been treated unjustly. The. First. (If you know me, you know that's true. This girl's always got your back. Always.)
Years ago, I took one of those spiritual gifts test. Most of it was accurate.
I scored highest in (surprise, surprise) administration ... it's like saying I'm good at bossing people around. Woo hoo! Yay for me. Great characteristic. (said in my most sarcastic voice)
And in a close second by only one or two points was discernment. Yep. I can see that in my life quite a bit. There's many times I know what's going on without anyone telling me anything. But the best part about that gift is being able to sense that someone's hurt because then I can help.
So there you go ... someone who can sense something about someone and then tell them what to do. Pretty much what I do.
Beau says I lecture too much. But in my mind, I feel like I'm helping. I can obviously see what's wrong with your life and I know how you can fix it. Geez. It's not rocket science.
Getting back to my point, one of my lowest scores was compassion.
Here's where I think the test is bunk.
I am extremely compassionate. If I saw anyone was in need, I'd do whatever I could to help them. Whatever it took. I wish I could take every orphan child into my home. I wish I could help to get every prostitute off the street. I wish I could get every addict help to overcome their addiction. I wish I could care for the sick and dying. I wish I could hold the hands of those who are scared and lonely. I wish I could help every woman and child in need. I wish I could find the homeless homes. And the list goes on ...
I would go to bat for most anyone who needed it.
My problem lies in deciding who needs it and who doesn't. Sometimes we all tend to sit in judgment of those whom we deem not worthy of compassion.
God's dealing with me on that. How dare I or anyone else determine who needs compassion? Because God knows I need it a lot.
Nope. I'd much rather sit back and say "I told you so, Dummy. You shouldn't have done that. That was a stupid choice. Did you think about all the ramifications of that one action? Did you think how that choice would affect other people around you?" And I could go on there too. (Hence my problem.)
But, I don't know EVERYTHING. That's the part I have to continue to remember. And then grant compassion and grace anyway simply because God offers me so much.
Granted, there are many times people need tough love and someone to just tell them the truth. That's what I tend to do, but am trying to work on sitting back and letting God handle it. It's almost like my tongue has a mind of it's own. Biting it does not help. I need a lock on that thing.
I'm learning that when someone hurts me, is ugly to me, makes decisions for me, plain 'ol doesn't like me, and so on again ... that action is not a surprise to God. It may have not been His choice for me. But He knew it was going to happen, and now I choose the way I'm going to handle it.
I have a friend who is EXTREMELY compassionate, almost to a fault sometimes. I tease her about it now and then. Anytime someone is in the wrong ... and they are in the wrong, she makes an excuse for them. I let her know when she's being too forgiving. Because I'm obviously the judge and jury on that. She believes the best of everyone. Me? Depends ... if I know their character, then yes or if I know there character, no. We joke about her being so glass-half-full in the most ridiculous scenarios. But, she offers compassion to everyone. And, I mean EVERYONE even when I think they absolutely do not need it or deserve it.
The thing is she's right.
Now, I'm not saying I can be like her because that's going to be darn hard. But, I can shut up and let God handle each situation.
I told Beau last night that I think God's just messing with me sometimes in areas where I struggle with understanding and granting compassion. When I get faced with the same issues over and over again, I feel like He says to me, "Are you still going to obey me?" When decisions are made for me, will I continue to be faithful? When people do things I don't agree with, will I think the best of them or have compassion for them?
I'm working on it, Lord.
And, why? Because I know He is faithful and compassionate.
I read this morning in Psalms that "He guards the lives of the faithful." No matter what happens, He GUARDS me. He knows what's going to happen; How will I respond?
I am determined to strive for better obedience to my Lord at all costs.
(no matter what stupid things people do ... ugh ... see?)
Have you heard this song by Kari Jobe yet? Lyrics are spot-on.
As you may know from reading my blogs or knowing me, not only did I graduate from ORU, but Beau worked for Richard Roberts in the television department for years. He had many conversations with him and he and I each have always held him in high esteem, even despite some negative reports heard in the past few years. He was nothing but kind, understanding, and just an all-around good guy to us. He's prayed for both Beau and K Belle before and spoken many wise words to Beau. He taught one of my classes called "Holy Spirit in the Now," which I thoroughly enjoyed and learned quite a bit about the charismatic movement. We've always liked both him and Lindsay (whom we also had many interactions with).
I took the news years ago about the Roberts leaving ORU and the alleged inappropriate behaviors in stride. It really didn't change my opinion of them.
And, now this.
When I read the article last night, I was just sad. Plain sad.
Not because I was disappointed in him (which I may have been a bit), but sad for him. Sad for whatever he's facing and even sadder about what he's about to face.
I thought about how his name is associated with my degree that hangs on my wall at work. That made me a little sad too. But I still remain proud in my accomplishment and what an incredible university ORU was and continues to be. If my girls said they wanted to attend ORU, I wouldn't hesitate to send them there (if I had the major moolah). I am confident in the awesome education they would get and the even more awesome relationships that would be built there. ORU has a huge sense of community and unity. It's pretty awesome! Oh, yeah ... I already said that.
I also thought about how there will be many people that will have a heyday with this. Bring on the naysayers! And those who said "I told you so."
My mind always goes to David in moments like these because he's so easy to relate to for me ... actually for everyone. He had struggles. He fell multiple times. But what amazes me is how the people never turned against him.
I'm sure Richard Roberts will not have that kind of support despite all the positive things he's done for people and the great things he's done for God.
For that, it's sad.
I want to make sure that I'm quick to offer grace because I need SO much!
Confession time: I cried over my child making a bad grade last week.
There's gotta be some other loopy moms out there that have done the same. And, yes, I literally have cried 2-3, maybe even 4 times this school year over grades. I know ... Insane. (Don't ever pray for God to make you more sensitive.)
I may or may not have also go into this whole rant about how important grades are (which they are) and something about throwing your life away (which they will if they don't make good grades). A little over the top. Or maybe not. (Do you see how I may be a little bi-polar?)
Right now, I'm just living from break to break. I ask myself at the end of the last school break, "When's the next break?"Only a few more weeks until we get another one. Hallelujah! Mardi Gras is just around the corner and summer's not far behind it.
There's way less drama in the summer.
Between the waking up at 6:00 AM and having to patrol homework & grades, I'm not sure I like when the girls are in school at all.
Oh, but how I whine and complain two weeks into summer vacation about how it's time for them to go back to school! I secretly like them being home. ;) (as long as I hear no "You're being a jerk." or "You're acting like a brat." which is pretty common around my house lately)
So despite the fact that we are not Catholic and do not celebrate Mardi Gras, aside from the eating of the king cake, I anxiously look forward to this holiday. Bring it on so we can get a break!
In celebration, be looking for my annual Mardi Gras giveaway coming soon!
Mark Wahlberg said this week that if he would have been on one of the planes on 9/11, he basically would have killed the terrorists and saved everyone. How insensitive and purely stupid! Click here to read the whole story and how he apologized. Well, thank God for that. That was dumb, Mark, really, really dumb.
Equally dumb was Newt saying he wanted an "open" marriage to his second wife. Now this second-ex-wife (what a title and a statement) comes out with all kinds of negative stuff about the speaker. Newt, I'm sure you realized all this would be found out. You should've been nicer to this ex-wife. And, really? An "open" marriage? That's just dumb, Newt, really, really dumb. (It really makes me not like Calista.) (Story here.)
A Ron Paul supporter backed up traffic for hours with this hot air balloon. The balloon was set up in the middle of the road during rush hour. Duh. I'm pretty sure if I was on the fence about whether or not to vote for Ron Paul, this would have made it a definite NO. (Don't worry. I was never a Ron Paul fan.) Way to go, guys, way to go. Dumb. (Story here.)
And, on the home-front, I haven't run since Saturday (unless you count the lame mile I ran at a snail's pace last night ... I've lost my mojo.) ... dumb, dumb.
It's the hardest job I've ever had. "Job" isn't really the right word. I do consider it a privilege that God has given to me. I do not take it lightly.
As my girls get older, it just gets harder. Sorry, parents of babies and toddlers. There are days I pray to change a diaper or have a sleepless night. I miss those days.
But, also, as my girls get older, they get cooler and even more fun to be around (not that they weren't before). Their personalities really start to shine through, as well as their temperaments. And, there are times when I see some of the values I've instilled in them put into action and notice a hunger for the things of God.
Honestly, each age has its challenges, but I find the middle school & teenage years harder.
I am in a constant struggle to get not worked up about things that I can't control. That's pretty much key with everything in life.
I can only control so much.
I can control their environments & their consequences, but I cannot control their choices. Only they can do that. That's when I start to get scared and pray they've gotten something from their parents all these years.
I spend a lot of time praying. A LOT.
It's pretty much my only "control" over their choices.
I pray that God would keep them and they would hold onto Him, never letting go. I pray that they would have a hunger for Him and the things of Him. I pray that God would put a drive and ambition in them to do something great in their lives for Him, and not settle for anything less than His best. I pray that God would give them wisdom ... so much wisdom. I pray for protection and guidance.
And, I pray for SO MUCH MORE WISDOM FOR ME. This stuff is hard.
In the end, it is THEIR choice, THIER life.
A lot of times the only thing I can do is pray, then trust that God always knows best and loves them even more than I do.
Fingers crossed that I'm doing an OK job because God knows it's not awesome. Also praying that they'll need no therapy later on.
One thing's for sure. I stinkin' love these girls.
Because I'm pretty sure I'm the only one watching these debates. Geez. There's been like 17 of 'em.
But, I LOVE them!
And, now candidates are dropping like flies. First, my girl, Michele (I loved, loved, loved her, knew she wasn't going to get the nomination, and am glad she finally gets to blink! See video for explanation.
HI. LARIOUS.)
and now Huntsman (who I had actually thought dropped out a long time ago because he was so forgettable and really irritated me).
After seeing all these debates and listening to what the candidates have to say ... (I'm just gonna put it out there even though you're never supposed to talk politics with your friends.) ... I've grown to really like Rick Santorum. I didn't even know who he was before the debates, but he makes a lot of sense and stands strong for his beliefs. I don't think he'll get the nomination, but he's good, ya'll. Really good! I would vote for him.
Ron Paul ... Whew! When he starts to talk, I get scared. I really think he's crazy. (Can't get this image out of my head every time I see him.)
Rick Perry ... Never liked him. Never will. Not much else to say about that.
Newt ... Love him. Super smart & quite sassy. I do like that about him. He ain't scared! But ... not sure he can win against Obama. In a debate ... YES, but in the election ... not sure.
And, then there's Mitt ... or as I like to call him, Republican Ken. Seriously ... does he not look like a Ken doll?
(and if you google "Ken doll Mitt Romney" you'll something like this ... obviously I'm not the only one with this view)
I like Mitt. And, yes, he will most likely get the nomination. He's also very smart and is good in the debates. I just wish he wouldn't be so plastic and perfect. I want to see him loosen up his tie and get jiggy with it. That's definitely one of the things I think people liked about Obama. He was a little more human and approachable.
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